Motherhood - General/Family Life

I mean no disrespect or insult to any mother out so take this post with a grain of salt or simply as a form of entertainment, but I am expressing my personal opinion only. I also don’t claim by any means to state that I’m a professional in this subject nor am I stating that I am a perfect mother. Lord knows I’m far from it, however I will state that I’m continuing to learn, adapt, and evolve based off of life circumstances that’s for sure! For the records, father's will be getting their own post too so don't go assuming that I'm only singling out women/mothers. Dad's/Men are going to get theirs too :p Any who! Here we go.

If you haven't read any of my other posts than just some quick insight; I went through a lot during my first pregnancy, granted though I put myself in those situations it was still a hardship and challenge. Then my second pregnancy had a healthier surrounding circumstance, however, was no less stressful because of others involvement. Both pregnancies unplanned and little miracles in their own right, proved to be the most loving and previous times of my life. I really did and am a person who thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for the pregnancies and I know that if I ever became pregnant again, I would welcome it whole heartedly. Now knowing that or perhaps now you want to go read those other posts, you can perhaps relate to this post more.

See there are some people in the world who like to state that their a parent (mother/father) and for me that title is just more than either you are contributing the sperm or you are contributing the egg. I've seen women who embrace motherhood whole heartedly, but I've sadly seen too many women who just like to claim the title without fully contributing to the actual role and responsibility that is motherhood. I feel like the women just don't like to openly admit in society or in general that they are just not cut out to be moms. Why is that the mantra is to be honest and truthful, but people can't or won't seem to be honest and up front about having kids or wanting kids or being a parent. There are some women out there who really SHOULD NOT procreate. There are also women out there who it's not even about whether they should procreate or not it's just their weird mentality of not being able to close their damn legs or at least to be cautious of NOT procreating! That they prefer to just have the kids because of the additional benefits they end up receiving, whether it's from the community, their own friends, or the state. 

I personally knew from an early age that I wanted to be a mom; I felt strongly in the vocation of being a mom. Lord knew that was always a dream and feeling after of course finding the partner that would be my ride and die for life. Women have become subjective instead of being objective to the term and role of motherhood. I got to witness first hand an individual who was an example of what NOT to do as a mom...she liked being called mom and "playing the role" when it suited her but she had literally everyone else raising her three sons from three different men; so the dad's families were the contributors to the education, examples, and upbringing of the boys while her own mother was more of a motherly role model than the woman who birthed the boys! 

Regardless of whether or not a fatherly figure or male figure is in the household the foundation, basis, baseline of the upbringing of the child/ren depends on the mother's full capacity. The father figure/male role model than serves as the enforcer and as also a second basis of a foundation to the key components to the education and upbringing of the child. Whether woman like to admit it or NOT the homelife might need to be "led" by the man but the foundation in which the man leads the household is solely on the shoulders of the woman!

As blessed as I was to have been able to see how great grandmothers taught their children and heard stories of "back in the day", then there's witnessing my own grandparents, then my parents and their married siblings who became mothers...I was able to take from them what I thought would benefit me, then through personal experiences of witnessing other mothers, I decided to evolve my thought process and began preparing myself mentally and emotionally during my first pregnancy. I would mentally process how I wanted to be as a mom and what things I would do differently from my own upbringing and what things I would do the same. So, I made a promise to myself that I would cherish the traditions of my time, enforce the etiquette of my upbringing, grow the emotional and physical components of my children while being crasser in the general development of my children especially regarding their coping mechanisms and that of their knowledge of topics based off of their maturity AND level of innocence. 

Maturity and innocence are BIG things for me as a mom. I truly HATE and I mean HATE going shopping for clothes for my girls because it doesn't matter what department store, you're shopping at fir girls' clothing it's as if the world is grooming the girls to already be little hoes. It doesn't help either that the population percentage of so-called mothers allow for their little loves (not even in their teenage years) to dress immodestly and provocatively. From the types of underwear sold, shorts and their lengths, dressed and their lengths, the type of tops sold, the level of tightness that leaves any immoral or pedophile to witness the exact shape of the lower body of our children because it leaves nothing to the imagination! Then we have the swimsuits and summer clothes in general...first off, when did kids' swimsuits HAVE to be two pieces? I get it for the diaper wearing age groups because it's easier and I can even reason with the toddlers possibly having reason for the two pieces because of the restroom necessity. BUT WHY are almost all the kids' swimsuits basically bikinis for kids!?! And why on earth are moms even allowing it, or more so fathers! Stand firm and don't let that be the norm of your child! I purposely spend time researching and finding the SPF 50 special one-piece swimsuits that provide a healthy reveal of skin while my kids can enjoy themselves openly AND maintain their innocence. 

As for summer clothes, I get it it's hot everywhere and I know more than anyone (because I'm always hot) that there's only so many clothes you can take off! Before you're actually comfortable-I know but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow not just my teenager but any child under the age of 17 to be wearing some hoe like, booty shorts that don't even leave anything to the imagination because of how tight they are and the fact that its riding up their ass like a second piece of underwear! Then the fact that the length of some shorts, dresses, and skirts aren't even decent enough for the innocence of our children is appalling. Yea I'm going to say it and I don't care - you are what you wear and if you're daughters are dressing up like sluts, hoes, and hookers than its really no surprise to you parents when they have sex early and get pregnant, or are raped, or are getting the unwanted attention of male crowds. HEY maybe teach your children self-respect, decency, and being respectful of others. Fine you don't like my statements, let's go on the moral side of things: evil smile: for perhaps some of you shocked or offended parents who are Christian and reading this...your daughters dressing so provokes thoughts of sin in men and not just single ones-you daughter now becomes the source of provoking sin in others. 2 Timothy 2:9 states "Clothes should never be worn that expose or unduly accentuate body parts or do not cover our nakedness."

Shoot! Then there's what they watch on TV and the movies you expose them to and at specific ages. What they read and also the friends that they surround themselves with. 

So, which one are you? 1)the mom who likes to only do mother and daughter things to post all over your social media 2) the mom that is like the two definitions below 3)the mom that only likes to do it on the weekends/weekdays 4) the mom that likes to "play mom" but needs her time at the switch of a hat without concern for her child 5) the mom that likes to be called mom but doesn't do any of the responsibilities that motherhood requires 6) the mom that likes to "play mom" in front of others but prefers to be in her own world while a nanny does the raising and rearing of her child/ren 7) the mom who plays the part well but prefers making the kids than actually taking care of them and prefers to portray a victim of circumstance to milk people and/or the system 8) the mom that is the definitions below but that knows how to manage her reboot time to be the full capacity mom to their kid/s

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

The Sweetest and Worst Feeling for a Mom - Generla/Family Life

(Originally written June of 2018-Didn't revise or edit to maintain the authenticity of when it was originally written.) 

So, it’s been a few weeks now since we’ve been home from the beach and beach wedding. I’ve been starting to feel kind of...well largely pregnant even though I’m not that big yet. Stomach is definitely getting there but I’m just not in the aching and oh my goodness gets this baby out of me feeling yet. Do I feel more lethargic and tired lately, yes but that’s normal in this semester already so...I mention all that because regardless of how tired I’ve been feeling or how tired I’ve been getting I’m making sure that babygirl is continuing to have her weekday routine and time framed schedule. Every day is “planned” in the sense of what she does and has time for, then the keeping her mind active and alert-learning new things, being outside-out and about as much as I can with her before the baby comes and I’m in confinement. Babygirl and I have a special bond and mother-daughter relationship; she’s always been very intuitive/empathetic towards her mother and in general for emotions that someone is feeling. She’s doing things with hubby but she’s always looking to Mommy for permission (even the unspoken kind-that means where she turns to look at Mommy and asks with her eyes and waits for my nod or verbal confirmation that she can do whatever she is going to do with her dad.) Knowing all this, these past two months babygirl has gotten into this odd habit of coming into our bedroom to sleep in the middle of the night or towards the early morning hours (between 2am and 4am). You’ll hear her little pitter patter steps from her bedroom into our room and even half asleep she seems to absorb the layout and see who's awake. Well, she figured out right away when she was doing this that Mommy was always reliably awake or conscientious of her presence in the room and would always come over to my side of the bed, waiting for me to pick her up and lay her in between hubby and I. Considering that babygirl #2 cooking inside would always have my ass up at 6:30am like clockwork to pee and then have a breakfast smoothie or snack of some kind, I didn’t think it would be bad for the three of us, especially with the feat that she might get used to it and it cause problems when her sister arrived. I had faith and an unknown feeling/intuition that babygirl would be fine though.

Yes, I know probably not the best of parenting methods or moves BUT I also know my daughter very well. She’s not your typical child and is quick to pick up on adult decisions and ways. I know that this is just for the now because it’s almost like she knows she may or may not have moments like this, especially with Mommy. In turn I wanted to soak up and absorb my babygirl moments too since I knew that once babygirl #2 arrived my recovery time would have me on a different scale or timeframe than my special babygirl. 

So here I am trying to keep baby girls' months during the pregnancy as normal as possible even in my condition, then keep up with her nights, only to be completely thrown off whack when my nights started to change in the start of the third trimester. After putting babygirl to bed upstairs I would relax on the only couch I was comfortable in downstairs, whether to eat something or unwind with a movie or show before heading myself in turn to bed. Well during those times or nights, hubby would be sometimes downstairs with me or already in bed while I was still awake. Then when I would go to bed, I would take a peek into my daughter's room and check on her.

Now that you know all of that it will make sense why this next part affected me so much when it happened. And NO, it wasn’t the pregnancy or hormones or whatever, it was the simple fact that it was my daughter, and the moment was very emotional for me. 

You see one night after putting her to bed, I changed into my pajamas then went downstairs to the couch. Hubby had a movie already ready and just waiting on my word to hit “play.” Well about forty minutes into the movie we heard a noise so we paused it to hear or to wait a minute to see if it would occur again. When it didn’t happen again hubby said that the would check it out and proceeded to walk upstairs. He whispered my name and then when I didn’t answer I got a text on my phone. It was an image of our daughter-I quickly got up and walked as quickly as I could up the stairs to see for myself. Our daughter was sleeping on the floor next to my side of the bed-just there with her blanket. I started to tear up and the moment hubby was reaching down to pick her up I whispered loudly stating “no, I’ll take her to bed.” He got mildly irritated since I shouldn’t be caring her, but I had to-he saw me crying as I picked her up and took her to her room and into her bed. I laid her gently into her bed, wiped her hair away from her face, and tucked her into her bed. I kept quietly crying-how long had she been there, her trusting of Mommy and knowing that I would eventually show up or be there, the fact that she just waited there curled up on the side of the bed where I sleep...how does that not effect a mother or a human being for that matter. 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

First Baby, Third Trimester - General/Family Life/Health

(Originally written January of 2017-Didn't revise or edit to maintain the authenticity of when it was originally written.) 

Just in case you were wondering…everyone is a bunch of liars! Pregnancy isn't nine months! Talk about false advertisement! It's ten months total! If you're wondering why I'm counting the days, it's not because I'm frustrated at the pregnancy-on the contrary I'm waiting anxiously with excitement to meet and hold this little mini-me that's growing inside me. I don’t quite care about specifics, I just want to make sure that she has all her fingers, toes, and physical features required to live a healthy life. Yes, that's right I didn’t want to wait and decided to find out the gender of our baby. We have her name picked out and everything!

Well so much for trying to finish up and get ready for the baby even more…I've been put on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy…no more work, quite literally I can't go to work anymore. I left work to attend my check-up and they ended up admitting me into the hospital. Granted I'm glad they are looking out for the well-being of my daughter and I, however the timing just sucks! I don’t have any of the baby room items bought, ready, or even put up like I ideally wanted. I haven't decorated the baby room or re-arranged my bedroom like I'm going to need it because of the baby. To put an even bigger dent on the situation, me not working right now and receiving disability isn't the ideal for Cowboy and my financial situation, at least until he gets a better position a lot has been riding on my income for us…I know that God will provide but surely, he has a huge sense of humor when he created mothers! The one's that were made to control, guide, and create the lives of those entrusted to them. He's probably laughing at me right now say "HA-you just thought that you could control the pregnancy, but this is a glimpse of the spontaneity the child will bring to your life. Planning won't even necessarily be in your vocabulary!" Ok so maybe that last statement is more what everyone I know (both family and friends) tell me. This is going to be a big test on my patience and on handling the bigger part to come.

To be honest my mother is the one I think that's more worried about the whole situation than I am! Which is then conveyed to me which in turn makes me worried. Oh, the small steps towards motherhood. What I can say that I've learned about myself, and others is this; I for one have always had a calm demeanor but since meeting Cowboy and the pregnancy, I'm a little more on edge. Many would claim it’s the hormones and all this other crap, but quite frankly I know myself (as my mother does) and the changes occurring are because of not only my partner but the pregnancy. It's really more the circumstantial portion of it and not the hormones. Then there's my people tolerance…for starters I've always loved to observe people however I've never enjoyed obnoxious and overwhelming annoying people; so, the threshold of tolerance and patience for others that I used to have been VERY high before, and quickly diminishing now to a smaller area. The patience with myself seems non-existent now; I feel that with my little one coming I need to push myself harder to accomplish and finalize things for her, before she pops out! I know I can handle it and do it, but everyone keeps warning me and cautioning me about my limitations. I think that something like this only a woman, or more like a woman who has had children and is a mother would slightly understand what I'm feeling. Then again since every pregnancy and woman is different maybe not, I just know that my mother comprehends my changes, but she breathes words of wisdom and suggestions…Bringing me lastly to the biggest revelation. My dumb founded demeanor towards creation through God's wonder and grace, with a sincere appreciation for childbearing. My mother has only two children and the "feelings" or examples of what's been going on in my life she says are similar and yet different from hers. I try to do this by myself so that I can have better confidence in myself but this close to the finish line and I'm seriously just exhausted.

I'm just ready for her to be here-then I can worry about something else so Cowboy can do the main worrying of what I've been doing for the past seven months! 

Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman

First Child Pregnancy - General/Family Life/Health

(Originally written June of 2017-Didn't revise or edit to maintain the authenticity of when it was originally written.) 

"When joy and prayer are married, their first-born child is gratitude."

Almost everyone I know (both family and friends) are now made aware about my pregnancy and it was funny at the start, listening to the stories of those who had gone through pregnancies and births (regardless of whether I wanted to hear it or not), explaining everything they had gone through. From some of them, I really did want to hear, but a good majority-I really didn't and had never asked to hear about their pregnancies…it became obnoxious (or maybe it was just my pregnancy hormones kicking in) and a little bit of a nuisance (especially on me under the weather feeling pregnancy days.) Those specific moments are when my mother's education of teaching me to respect others chimed into my head; since I am a representation of my parents, I get my mouth shut at those moments. However, if anyone reading this now, might just think otherwise or think something along the lines of, "spoiled rotten new age child' or "rude young female that doesn't have decorum." I've heard it before, so it doesn't offend me if that's what you're thinking, I'm just stating how it was and how I feel. Anyway, moving on!

What I have noticed recently is that many of these women who converse about their pregnancy stories tend to also divulge their reasons behind a specific type of upbringing and lifestyle, or it's almost like they try to justify WHY they raised their children the way they did, regardless of: being spoiled, uneducated, rude, or joyous and active. What I also took notice of recently was the number of females within my circles (not wanting to use the term "friends" as that implies a close relationship) who were pregnant and also going to be first time mothers. Many were doing the "studying" and "reading" bit - the irony of it. Me the person who loves to read and know all the information about something to not only be informed but excel at whatever I'm reading about, decided to NOT divulge myself into the new mommy scare syndrome that tends to take place I think for all first-time moms. I was not going to waste time or money on finding these ridiculous books about first time pregnancy or what to expect. Why do I even mention this? Well, it refers back to the beginning statement of this paragraph. I had women around me if I so wished for valuable information, on top of the doctor's office. I mean what's the point for paying dues on my health insurance when I spend more money on books, that realistically I probably won't have time to read since I'm working full time and can easily use the OBYGN's office for questions that I think, or feel are out of the norm. Maybe just my realistic side but serious readers tend to take the heart what they read, hence me being a serious reader, I'll probably panic about every little thing that happens based off of what I read. The less I read about something the better off I am-at least until the moment arises to inform myself; for example, the genetic tests and blood work the doctor's office does on me. I would rather read about those items and their effects than worry about "you'll lose even more control of your bladder during the second trimester but shall breeze through morning sickness". Every doctor state, "general symptoms" or "these are generally the things to expect in your pregnancy" then always informs you, "but every woman is different, and every pregnancy is never the same." So why in my right mind am I going to spend anywhere from $8 to $40 on a book about something that varies between woman to woman. Shoot that's my food money or ice cream money during this pregnancy!

I don't know, I guess in my mind if something's really wrong regardless of my new "mother spidery senses" you as a woman will "feel" when something is wrong…if I feel something is wrong, I have my mother to bug and worst-case scenario a wonderful friend who a prenatal nurse on speed dial is! I just hope she stays a friend after this pregnancy-Lord knows the emotional/hormonal side is out! 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Starting to Show & Complications - General/Family Life/Health

(Originally written September of 2017-Didn't revise or edit to maintain the authenticity of when it was originally written.) 

Hearing or seeing others around you go through a pregnancy is nothing like when it happens to you; I'm fast realizing that! Don't get me wrong, it's quickly becoming a favorite past time for me, I just can't get over how amazing the frequency and the rate that the female body undergoes as it changes to create a child; the physical preparation it goes through for delivery…utter fascination! I'm seeing it day by day with my body. Literally at three months I couldn't visually tell anything was going on with my body aside from tender breasts and seriously being drained (literally always wanting to sleep), but with the pregnancy app I was able to get an understanding of what was happening on the inside. Which reminds me, not to formally advocate or publicize, babycenter.com is awesome word of advice to all pregnant women! Anyway, I digress on that front…

Second trimester began and I was finally noticing and feeling a little bulge on my tummy area. Something magical was growing and being created inside me. My regular day clothes were finally not going to cut it (especially for work) considering that aside from the social pregnancy norm-I wasn't interested in wearing the typical maternity clothes or even the tight maternity clothes, at least not yet anyway. I figured there would be a time when it would be pointless to wear loose fitted clothing without looking like humpty dumpty. There was also the factor that my family has a more conservative aspect when it comes to the baby bump revealing-it has merit. Cowboy, made a point of taking me on a shopping spree for new clothes, considering that after the rapid growth and body changes in the first trimester, I was going to need some reliable (for lack of a better term) clothing as the baby bump grew even more and he would be busy with work (as would I). The essentials of a few new tops and capris bottoms, cover-ups, dresses, and a few new shoes; items to mix and match with my other clothing that I COULD and WOULD still be able to wear with the baby bulge.

I have to say that I should have put better attention to what my mother kept telling me, "Take the time to enjoy this part of the pregnancy and get some rest, make sure to take it easy." Unfortunately, this pregnancy wasn't in the best of times for us as there was a lot of transitions, work was really busy (that's right I was still working full-time), and just overall a lot going on for me…stress would be the term for it. Traveling on a constant basis from three cities; Prosper, Dallas, and Rockwall while probably only getting about the average of four to five hours of sleep a night and that was on good days! Well, it took a toll on my body and the pregnancy, that I soon was diagnosed with a complicated pregnancy…from the doctor's aspect I was to be cautious and vigilant but thank God, what started off as a little peanut was fast becoming a healthy baby. As you can imagine from my earlier statement, I didn't slow it down any, on the contrary I was trying to fit what a person should do in five years with their partner/family in a ten-month span (basically in the timeframe of the pregnancy). I was getting lectured left and right, was being told to take it easy (easier for others to tell you when they aren't the ones taking care of all your things), and even with my parents and sister trying to help as best as they could-things still weren't done, and I felt that time was running out quickly. I needed for Cowboy to do a lot more than what was currently being done yet the way he was raised didn't have an exact correlation to how I was raised and did things…lots of learning curves for everyone (especially myself) however at the end of the day I was blessed and thankful that God kept a close eye on my little peanut that was cooking up inside me. I look back on this trimester now and realize some of my errors in addition to the fact that my family did (and are still doing) a lot to help Cowboy and I…the repayment is too huge to even fathom. 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Heal They Self, Healthy Self - General/Family Life/Health

(Originally written April of 2017-Didn't revise or edit to maintain the authenticity of when it was originally written.) 

"The greatest gift you can give your family and the world, is a healthy you."
-Joyce Meyer-

It's officially six months since I had babygirl...it feels like just yesterday, but the days are definitely adding up. Don't believe me, check it out for yourself with the picture I have on here. The fact is I'm still working on getting rid of all the baby weight! It's annoying but I'm working hard and determined!

Top Left: This was the December/January picture and sized clothing. I remember I was getting conscientious of the bulged stomach as well as the fact that I was looking for clothes that would tastefully cover my gained baby weight. I know what you're thinking; me, the very self-confidant and high self-esteem person conscientious of her figure!?! The answer is yes. Before you go being judgmental or critiquing me, if you haven't had kids yet then you have no factual personal evidence to back up anything you're thinking or feeling. Once you experience it THEN comment. Secondly, I'm not being conscientious about my weight for aesthetic reasons, it's actually something much more personal. I'll get into that later...Some women claim it's the hormones affecting their emotions and thought process or the "mommy brain". Although some women tend to use these two facts of life for a mom, as excuses for not bettering themselves or staying healthy, I for one know that my conscientiousness stems from "mommy brain" and the fact that I was thankfully extremely healthy before my pregnancy which is what kept my daughter healthy and whole during the stressful pregnancy. She came out strong, receiving and taking away all the nourishment and "good juices" from my body. That's the main reason why I want to get back into shape; feeling and working like I did before she came along, so that I know that I can withstand the tough/tougher times that may come our way. Ok so that's about 75%, the other 25% is I'll admit for not only feeling good but looking good-besides staying fit and healthy allows me to live in the clothing that's cheaper. Why maternity clothing and larger clothing is so expensive...is beyond me. I understand that more fabric and material is used, but at the rate of obesity in this country you would think that the clothing for the thinner people would be a few dollars more. I digress....

Top Right: The January/February picture where I wasn't as concerned about wearing clothing to cover up my mid-section, tummy bulge, and "love handles"...no I was just resorting back to some of my maternity shirts and dresses to feel comfortable, confidant, and have clothing fit me a little looser. Ok let's face it, some maternity clothes are so darn comfy that why wouldn't you still wear it even after the baby is born!?! I did and some items I still am. The Capri in this pic were definitely still my maternity Capri.

Middle Left: These two pictures were early March, where I was literally starting to feel my physically able to work out and function. Not 100% pre-pregnancy fit but a very good percentage of that healthiness feeling. It's hard to explain but many of you know what I mean. Sometimes it has nothing to do with inches or weight-loss and all about that "feeling". Do you know what I mean? It's the feeling of inner power, strength, and agility. That even if you didn't sleep well, your body is ready to take on that extra few hours of labor/work/exertion. No? Maybe just me?Anyway! I had that great feeling that I was wanting to wear more shorts and I felt the ligaments/muscles at work inside. It's hard to explain when you are in tune with your body, when many others out there aren't in tune or can't comprehend the phrase "in tune with your body." Some just make fun of that statement, claiming its some stupidity or a means of paying for a yoga/Pilates class. You name it, there are plenty of statements against the phrase. Well moving on then.

Bottom: The two bottom pictures with the tank top, are this month exactly! Feeling great and regardless of what people say or think, I like how I look as well! Working with no more than 10lb weights in routines as well as free weights in addition to still eating the way I did before the pregnancy! I'm at 189.2lbs instead of the 210.6lbs on my release from the hospital, October 26th, 2016.

Continuing to work on getting lean and loving it. It helps to have my mother's support and understanding about my need and want for working out as well. It's to get me back where I was health/physically but it was also my biggest stress reliever. When things were too difficult in the real world, running and being outside provided me my distraction, but pushing my body harder and longer is what took away my anger and frustrations...until I don't run out of breath (basically build my endurance back up) I will have to keep boxing/kickboxing on the back burner for now...If the weather is nice, I'll try to get out of work early enough to get home in ample time, to walk babygirl in her stroller - sometimes with the dogs. Other times I'll work out during my lunch hour at work in the gym provided by the building. Either way I'll try one way or the other to have my 10,000 steps! Yes, that means I have a Fitbit as well - I do suggest getting one if you are trying to get a routine in place or start on a healthy regimen. The fact is what my doctor told me has finally registered in my head..."it takes up to ten months for your body to prepare in creating and having a child, so keep that in mind when you are getting impatient or frustrated at not losing all of the baby weight yet. It takes time to heal and sometimes longer if you had a cesarean, like you did. It might take a full year before you actually see physical improvements."

Time is on my side, and I have another six months of patient training...so new momma's or women trying to lose the baby weight. Make a goal and stick to it - even if others laugh or critique it. It's working for me and I'm not dieting NOR am I skipping meals. I'm a person with a budget, busy life (sometimes on less than four hours a night of sleep), child, family, friends, and long driving time to and from work; if I can make it happen other women out there have no excuse. Stay strong and you got this. 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

The Day My World Changed - General/Family Life

(Originally written March 2017-Did not bother revising editing for authenticity)

Since I was little, I always had this strong connection, vocation (for religious believers like me), or urge/desire (for the non-religious) to have and create a family of my own. Little did I know how beautiful but scary the whole thing would be...It was definitely not planned nor in the order of life that I had anticipated to get pregnant. The irony of it all was that for about 8 months prior I was giving up on family life and finding someone. Yes, I know, it sounds dramatic and stupid considering that I'm in the prime of life (early twenties) however nonetheless that's how I felt. I was concentrating my life back into my career and passions! Yes, I did go back on a dating site, but I really didn't think anything of it. If a date arose from it then "that's nice" was the mantra in my head and I would see what would happen, but my sole focus and attention wouldn't be on that. My physical health was I think at its best and continuing and I had new goals in mind! How God has a sense of humor especially when one of his children thinks she can do it all without anyone in her life. Don't misinterpret me, I thank God for all my talents and gifts because without him providing me with the right tools I wouldn't be where I am in life (that includes parents and family) however, my ego and pride (one of my vices and major defects in certain decisions of life) are what tend to, I think, upset our Lord and Savior. So, while I'm playing checkers, God has already check-mated me. That's right two different playing fields and if a human thinks he/she can play on God's playground then you've got another thing coming!

According to doctors I conceived in the middle of February 2016, but regardless of all my education and involvement in the "real world", I was oblivious and naive to the signs that were all there...since I never thought once that it would happen to me (at that time) or that it was possible, I didn't finally know for sure until March. It was odd too because the only reason I took the pregnancy test was because I was trying to win a bet! After vocalizing my symptoms and how I was feeling, I took the test so I could prove someone else wrong! HA-boy did that backfire! But I actually ended up winning, I think. My situation and circumstance weren't the best at the time so I don't know how anyone else would react, but I know the first emotion was actually panic. It went quickly from panic to tears, to joy, and then stressful concern. My ex-husband (a guy I was just dating at the time) seemed to be joyous and helped in trying to relieve my mind but hearing him only worsened my emotions. So many things were still left pending (for lack of a better word). Me, always having plans and being organized and OCD, couldn't help but feel anger and stress that things weren't as I wanted them or pictured them to be when I would have a baby...The rest of that day was lovely regardless, but I remember that evening I was emotionally on pins and needles...it was until I was snuggled into my bed with the quiet and peaceful darkness of the room covering me, that I enjoyed the moment of knowing that I would be having a baby...After a few years of dating, praying, and getting my heart broken-I was blessed with an upcoming baby.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman