Busy Lives & Restless Souls - Book Review/Recommendation

I believe this is a great read for many who claim to have busy lives and just not enough time (or discipline) to think about God in their daily tasks and just take a moment for Him. It was well written and definitely a short read. I personally finished it within about two and a half hours; which was broken into one full day.

I felt like it needed something more or I don't know how to explain it, but I needed it to have a little more emotional and testimonial depth in the writing. 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

"Real Love" by Mary Beth Bonacci - Book Review/Recommendation

Whether you're a teenager trying to find a nice source of actual relationship material and living a morally sound life while discerning romantic relationships, this is a read for you.

Let's say you in college and trying to find solid references of how a romantic relationship should be and even have a better understanding of the dating world while also discerning the vocation of being married or not, this is the book for you. Whether you're in high school OR college, you should only be dating if you're truly discerning a vocation to Holy Matrimony. Anything regarding just a feel-good feeling, self-gratification, self-satisfaction, and also popularity or trying to fit in ARE NOT reasons to be dating even at these ages, just saying...

Your past the college years and you're unsure of what your mindset should be or what your non-negotiables are, but you know you would like to be in a romantic relationship, this is also the book for you. Perhaps you're past the college years but discerning whether you even want to get married, well guess what this book is still for you because it touches on the reasons why you also shouldn't date if you're doing it all for the wrong reasons...

Your either well past your solid career years or perhaps a person undergone divorce and child custody and everything else in between...you're trying to get in the saddle after ugly or hurtful divorces and previous damaging relationships, this is still a solid book even for you!

I've actually read this book during my college years till now, especially after my divorce. Nothing wrong with a little refresher course! For lack of a better word. Seriously though, read it because you won't be disappointed and it doesn't matter what your age is.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Transitioning Red to Blue! Part 1 - General/Family Life

It's official! After six years and seven months of having all the styles and colors of our home red, my girls are older to have nicer things and get into the blues and hues that I had originally wanted! Christmas decorations and colors will be interesting this year, but I'll be creative like usual or figure the feng shui somehow! Any who!

The fastest and cheapest route is always in my opinion the front porch/entryway of the home and that of a patio should you be blessed to have one. As you can see from the picture below, that's the red color scheme and everything else used would just mold in somehow but then after going to Pop Shelf and Hobby Lobby, I knew I was going to be able to create my design or at least a feel for what I wanted for people to see, feel, and smell as they walked out of our front door or walking into the house.

Like I was mentioning, above is the red patterns and red scheme I had for the longest time, whereas below starts the entry into a bluer home! Let's start with the real plants first; both purchased at Lowes. I know in my previous gardening and herbal post I mentioned that I had originally purchased more from Home Depot but realizing sometimes how much they sell out I wasn't getting the best quality plant since they were just needing a restock, hence Lowes being the new destination. For the specific door entry plants that I always like and use it's only about a $1 or $1.23 difference, so I opted for Lowes. Since I did this earlier this year and we're in August, it's been a solid buy, and it was my banking on the buck used. 

The front entry has two pots purchased of the lemongrass plant from Lowes with the Jalapeno tree right next to it. The two fake pine looking planters are from PopShelf and very much not real but provide the greenery affect you need; that was $12 each. Then there's the bench cover cushion, courtesy of a purchase made on Amazon since I've always had the bench since the first apartment my daughters and I had back in 2018. 

Now we're more into the alcove/porch entry. I already mentioned the planters and the bench so now it's the ground mat, also purchased at PopShelf for $8 at the time. With the nicely soft and weatherproof material wreath at $10, also at PopShelf. The wonderful letter signage I purchased at Hobby Lobby for $8, where I then tied it into the wreath using a simple wire tie that's used at the grocery stores to close up the plastic produce baggies they provide; making it feel complete for me. Then the final touch is the magnetic and VERY nicely made magnetic retractable sliding door for $35.99! Take a guess where that's from, huh, huh....Amazon of course! 

 

I've personally always enjoyed the sliding doors with mesh because it allowed for the nice breeze, outdoor sensations without all the debris, or even just the sense of outdoor calm listening to the outdoor noises. Growing up I had the front door as a double door, where the wooden heavy door was the entry focal point but then my father installed a mesh door. Well even though my mother loved it, my father was always about cost effectiveness so he swapped out the mesh door that would release more AC outside, to a glass door that would allow to still see outside and in when the main wooden door was open. Everywhere my girls and I have lived we've been blessed with an outdoor feel or the ability of having the wonderful sense of nature nearby AND when the cooler temps of Fall, Winter, and even Spring are around I like sometimes having the mesh only throughout the house...

So, what colors do you like to use and how often do you swap design or colors in your home?

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Creating My Cozy Coffee/Tea Area - General

We all do it when we're scrolling and looking at ideas for DYI or how others organize their closets, drawers, pantries and bedrooms etc. It's both admirable and so gratifying to see spaces nicely organized. I personally don't always have the head space for that talent non-stop BUT I do like to strive and make my home both functional and homey; where family and friends and even new guests don't see me house as some pristine palace but neither some down in the dumps and no pride in their home that there's a mess in every direction while having the kids' things scattered everywhere! It's obviously far from perfect but it does the job and it suits us for all events and the use of our home no matter where we call home. I don't currently have a butler's pantry or mini bar, so I created instead this sectioned out space for beverages and specifically hot ones at that.  

Some items I had already for a while now while other I finally acquired, but I felt like things just weren't complete yet or that there was a better way for me to adjust and make it more user friendly so that any family or friends could make their coffee or hot teas as they please. Ok fine as a bonus I wouldn't always have to do it for every person and could be doing something else! Anywho! Everything I've done though I try to have a purpose or the mindset for my daughters to have a sense of input as this is their home and they enjoy their hot teas and drinks themselves, so the picture below is where we started.

From left to right:

• Blue tray - $8 at PopShelf
• Lego flowers that was a gift to my daughter - $0
• The Coffee sign - $8 at Hobby Lobby
• set of (2) wireless 12" tall LED table lamps - $39.99 on Amazon
• 12"x20" absorbant coffee mat - $9.99 on Amazon
• (3) piece ingredient holder and container with spoons - $37.99 on Amazon
• Instant coffee maker
• Premium Jasmine Green Tea loose leaf - $9.99 on Amazon
• infrared water purifier that provide instant hot and room temperature as well as very cold water with the lower water loading - from Lowes purchased back in 2022
• Tea Library holder book - $32.99 at Barnes & Nobles

I don't know why but I wasn't as pleased with the setup, so I wanted something more horizontal space free for let's say when pastries or the birthday cakes of my children are out (like recently) which meant I needed to come up with another way to decorate and design the wall space. So below is what I ultimately came up with. Because I really don't like glares on the TV at any time of the day, I've also rearranged other areas of the house which allowed for the lamps to be a great touch once the sun has gone down and the curtains are drawn. 

Newly acquired items for setup:

• (300) disposable tea bags for loose leaf teas - $8.99 on Amazon
• set of (2) mug holder wall mounted coffee mug rack - $22.99 on Amazon
• (2) Coffee spoon rest with spoons - $9.99 on Amazon

My girls liked the new set up because they like to fix their hot teas or grab their water bottles and also grab their reading bags to head out the door. Like I said to incorporate my kids' lives without having them take over the house like SO many other parents allow but still having them feel like it's their home and that they have a say or vote anyway. What do you think?

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Faith Starts at Home - General/Family Life

I'm not going to lie that I'm going to be hitting on a sensitive or touchy topic because I'm going to be both critical as well as blunt. So, if you're one of those people in today's society where you're about "participation awards" and the removal of dodgeball/duck duck goose along with the whole mantra of no spanking or light smacking and doing timeouts only then yea this post might offend you. Don't say I didn't warn you.  

"I want to tell all the Christian parents that they are the glory of the church. Your witness is sometimes a daily martyrdom. But your mission is great! You bear the hope of the world and of the Church! Stand firm!"

-Cardinal Robert Sarah- 

I'm looking around me and I'm seriously shaking my head at the world that I live in and the society my daughters are going to be growing into. First of all, in case you haven't already noticed (or maybe you just choose not to pay attention to) our world has been heavily attacking the home life and more specifically the faith and control within our homes. What affects your home? School systems, social media's, advertisers and entertainment, friendships, relationships outside the home, work life/corporate America, and especially the medical field. Don't worry in another post I'll break it all down but not today AND the guess what none of those have (well in a generalization anyway) - God truly at the center. 

See if a person has their foundation created with God in mind and incorporated then nothing truly affects the person. Look at it this way, there are specific ingredients that go into the concrete mix and for the different types of applications in which concrete is used. You have the walls, foundation to hold up little to ginormous structures, then the core of building for the elevator shafts and the stair towers, etc. They all have something in common; you're wanting to make sure that concrete doesn't crack, the concrete structures don't shift/move to cause damage to the structure type, and that it lasts for as long as possible. So, a person needs a solid foundation which is the concrete-the ingredients are the persons personality (both encouraged and developed/evolved) and a person's character now the concrete will need reinforcement bars inside - that is your faith/love for God. If you have God as your reinforcement mixed in with the right personality and character - nothing in the world will ever touch you, have control over you, nor corrupt you. 

Some adults and/or parents in general reading this will no doubt start creating excuses I know it! Because it goes against the "norm" or it's not "the norm" or "oh my goodness but then my child will be isolated because of their beliefs" or "that's not how the other kids are" or they don't help their children in picking the right groups and friends to have or they teach their children to quiet the faith voice in order to make friends. You name it the excused can go on for miles and lordy have I heard a lot of them. So, let's rewind from this tangent because the focal point is how to create the solid foundation. 

Yes, parents lead by example, and the children will always look to their parents to mimic the mannerism, practices, and intensity of devotion to a faith life. See the level of the parents' devotion is what creates the tone and intensity of the faith life in our children. If the parents are luke-warm and only EAC Catholics/Christians (meaning Easter and Christmas only) then that's the level of importance the children will put to the faith - minimal to none. We should be cautious as parents to what we say, react, and demonstrate regarding the faith life because we can easily be encouraging our children to a strong faith life or just as easily be leading them astray. So, what type of Catholic/Christian are you?

• Do you only go to Sunday Mass when you feel like it?
• Do you prioritize sports over attendance at Sunday Mass - so if your child/ren have games you don't bother going or do you at least make the effort to go to the Saturday Vigil?
• This one always gets people/parents riled because they like to use the excuse of "well they've committed to the sports program and what would we be teaching our kid/children if we don't reinforce their commitment" and many other similar statements...
• My response is always, "oh so the sports program is saving their soul and will get them into heaven?" or "so you're teaching your child/ren that sports is more important than God and in taking the one hour out of your day to praise and give thanks?" or my other counter of "the sports schedules are scheduled out in advance what did you do in your responsibility as their parent to reinforce their commitment AND ensure that God came first because you could easily find a Mass time earlier or later and the day before. It's not like you just got notified about the game just yesterday..." 
• Do you even participate in the sacrament of Reconciliation with/in front of your child/ren? If not than that makes you a habitual sinner having committed either mortal or venial sins and never going to confession. Even worse you child/ren born into the Catholic/Christian faith won't ever understand the important and shall follow in your footsteps.
• Do you attend Mass outside of the Sunday obligation?
• Do you attend Eucharistic Adoration?
• Do you attend Mass for the Holy Days of Obligation outside of Sunday? 

Parents are using the Church programs as babysitting time frames and though sometimes they can provide a bonus a few free minutes or hours without the children, the faith life begins and ends at home. What we do, how we portray our commitment, and how we participate in the faith life truly impacts more than people realize. Don't stay stagnant parents and don't allow the world to corrupt what's been made good in the eyes of our Lord.

This next part is also going to raise flack because the world/parent's mindset is that babies are these little beings who have no knowledge of anything and that there's no way to teach them anything. This is the lazy white American lifestyle, because all of the heritages outside of the United States sure as hell don't believe nor practice this ideocracy. Yes, you can start training/teaching you child since being in the arms that there is a level of respect and quiet to be had inside the church. My own daughters are living proof as well as my sister (heck so are my grandmother and great great grandmother, etc)  and I that even as babies and toddlers the reverence, respect for authority, and quiet inside church (among other places) can be instilled into the children since the being born. My mother never carried a bag of toys and snacks and the stroller; no, it was always a simple baby bag with enough items to coo the baby. Actually, I feel I'm about to go on a squirrel detour, so I'll digress and focus on today's topic. 

My mother would whisper in our ears and we would hear her pray throughout the day, so my sister and I grew up with hearing this form of quiet from our mother which then carried over when we were in the Masses. We weren't screaming our heads off or making noises because we had already started since a VERY young age to hear the Mass, to hear prayers, to hear groups in praise and worship like at adoration. Most if not all white American families like to give themselves the excuse of the babies don't know any better or know anything and they don't take an initiative to discipline and teach them, therefore they don't take the babies to Mass from the start or they don't take them enough and ensure a continual education piece. I know what worked for me and I would sometimes play the Mass in the background while my daughters were babies and awake, then worship music, chanting music, and I had them with me (or my mom for that matter) in adoration, weekday Masses (not just Sunday Mass) and they would be with me during confession.

Both daughters at difference occasions decided to push their luck once and only once; my oldest during the Sunday Mass and during the homily, where she decided to do a wail out loud and looked me dead in the eye knowing what she did, my expression changed from soft to firm puling her arms into her chest and pulling her body in close to me while I whispered, "no, don't do that" and I felt her little body try to push back to wail again and I made sure that I beat her to it but looking her in the eyes and whispering, "don't do that. Behave we are with God, we play when we leave." Only repeated twice with both daughters and never had them test me again!

They wouldn't know all of the Catholic practices obviously, but it was beautiful to see that they understood early on the significant of the tabernacle as well as the images of Jesus Christ, the Holy Family, and church structures in general. When we would enter the chapel's, they would get as close as they could to the tabernacles or the exposition of the Holy Eucharist. Staring at it with such quiet wonder...then as they began to walk, they would just move close themselves, sometimes without asking and I wouldn't correct it in the church. It's been always the one location they know I see them, and they don't ask me for permission to get closer to our Lord. 

The whole year would have Holy Week and Christmas the peak's in our faith and the girls felt no different. Every Christmas to this day it's still a spellbinding moment to see that my children always want to get as close as they can or be able to hold baby Jesus to warm him and love him and kiss him to sleep. They say their prayers with reverent hands and kiss baby Jesus goodbye "until next time".

Remember that what we do echoes in eternity…so whether you’re a soon to be parent, a new parent, or already a parent (no matter the age of your child/ren) my sincere suggestion to you is to self-reflect and figure out what legacy are you leaving with your children. As a Christian are you truly following the laws of God so that you release into the world a good person that will continue the ministry of God which began with Christ and His disciples? Or are you just a luke-warm Catholic/Christian on your faith journey, where you do the bare minimum in effort and work so that you just “love” your children but don’t discipline them, prepare them for the life ahead even through difficult moments? Or do you concern yourselves more with what the world thinks and your child/ren “fitting in” then them being morally and emotionally mature, where they truly contribute and demonstrate God’s love by their lives so that they can enter into heaven?

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

True North A Roadmap for Discernment - Book Review/Recommendation

Ok don't let the whole "LifeTeen" logo deter you from this read because even though it's catered more for the teenage group/youth group level the way the world is turning out, I feel like this is even something adults now a days should read! As a parent this is going to be on my bookshelf as a read for my kids once they're of age (even if they aren't "lost" cause they sure aren't right now even in their faith life convictions). 

The way it's written I feel like there could be a correlation to the adults who didn't or haven't healed in some upbringing circumstances but the examples and manner in which things are explained, the author did really well!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Holy Moments - Book Review/Recommendation

Holy Moments by Matthew Kelly was a great find and a great quick read. If you're not really a reader or perhaps an avid reader this is one for you. It's to the point and a solid read. 

I was intrigued by what the potential results could be for the reader, and it allows one to reflect on their own contributions to the world from the home to community then on a global capacity. Changing the world with a simple belief or rule of life. It really was well written for the manner in which explanations or examples are articulated. 

When you finish the read, you realize it's a good read for any journey in life. The smallest of efforts and its massive domino effect in the world brings you to valuing the simple daily moments of both grace and divine interaction. 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman