An Emotional Lent in 2018 - General/Family Life

If you didn't or don't know already, I'm a practicing Catholic. No don't worry this isn't a post about religion specifically but it does relay some of the religious aspects in Catholicism of the traditions of Lent. I digress about that for now until I continue on about the story in general...

As I had mentioned before, Valentine's Day was also Ash Wednesday, but with the events of the day plans got altered. I was feeling a little on the sluggish side, finally getting out of the nausea period of the pregnancy, so not only did my oldest and I move at a leisure pace to get out of bed and get ready for the day but our original plan was to spend the afternoon at my aunt's house with one of my cousins (my oldest had helped me make a Valentine envelope and goody treat for her); we were just going to drop it off ourselves after getting our ashes. The whole day changed because of me SO I ended up looking for the latest and nearest Ash Wednesday service (this means that it's not a full mass-which consists of an hour or longer mass that has all parts from introduction to concluding rights). The service would allow for us to have dinner beforehand; my daughter gave our cousin her Valentine's, and it would allow for me not to be rushing all over the place. I asked my ex-husband (well husband at that time) if he would be going and I was amazed that he said yes-so there the trio went to the nearest Catholic church to our house to attend the 6:30pm Ash Wednesday service; the service included the Liturgy of the Word, Ashes, Liturgy of the Eucharist, and all of the concluding rights and prayers. The place was so packed with people and cars that we literally parked more than 535 steps away from the main entrance of the church. That said the main church was so full you couldn't even make it inside the church narthex of the church; that led us to having the Ash service in what that specific parish calls the "Parish Hall". Once the service finished, I finished my prayers then we started to walk out of the Parish Hall and towards our parked vehicle. We saw my aunt and her family at the church but we weren't able to see them or get a hold of them after so I told my ex-husand for us to do our own thing for dinner then we would drop of my cousins Valentine's after we had finished eating - besides it was getting super late already and I was starving. Don't EVER let a pregnant woman go past her eating hours and a note to the men who are part of the pregnancy venture-ALWAYS make sure the pregnant woman has snacks or is fed, don't wait until she tells you because the bigger she gets and/or the more far along she gets the more demanding she will be when it comes to food. 

After we had delicious Mi Piada (that day it was our first time trying but now our regular and favorite spot), I communicated to my aunt that we were looking for them; we ended up meeting them at the restaurant they were at to drop off the Valentine's Day large envelope of goodies and made our way home to get my oldest ready for bed and for mommy to relax...On a side note, it's still baffling and amazing to me how Christians who call themselves Catholics only attend church/mass when it's the major holidays (such as Lenten/Easter time and/or Christmas/Advent) or that they think that's the only time TO GO! That really is a post all on its own, so I'll differ and get to that on a later post...

Since my ex-husband had attended Ash Wednesday with me, especially since he was self-employed now and able to attend-not out on a job site or away from home, I was hopeful that I would not only have assistance during the pregnancy portion that took place during Lent but that I would have my ex-husband at my side during the Catholic religious traditions I've done all my life and am passing on to the kiddos...that hope was sadly extinguished for Holy Week had arrived.

It's easy for anyone to attend Palm Sunday as it happens to be and fall ON a Sunday, so of course the ex-husband was in attendance with my oldest and I; it was the rest of the week that it didn't go as I had thought or anticipated. For the sake of understanding or comprehending why what happened this specific week is so important or affected me so, I'll have to elaborate on certain religious aspects of Holy Week and their importance to the Catholic faith. First off Palm Sunday: Palm Sunday commentates the arrival of Jesus Christ in Jerusalem to the cheering crowd. The same crowd that will later be condemning him. This helps the congregation think about their own commitment and strength in their faith. Asking themselves about the times when they have been unfaithful to Jesus Christ and/or perhaps hypocrites. The congregation holds small crosses made out of the palm leaves in remembrance of the significance of that day many years ago...Maundy Thursday (aka-Holy Thursday) is a very intimate and long night of the faith during Lent: this day is in remembrance of the Last Supper, when Jesus washes the feet of his disciples and established the ceremony of the Eucharist, which is celebrated at every mass. It's the night in which Jesus is betrayed by Judas in the Garden. During the mass, the priest features a ceremony of washing twelve random people among the congregation to commemorate Jesus Christ washing his disciples feet. Then another significant moment during the mass is consecrating the oil used for anointing throughout that year to come. What's sadly not explained or elaborated enough on is the importance of what happens after the Holy Thursday Mass is ended. The mass closes in silence where the Eucharist is ceremoniously and respectfully walked around the entire church (symbolic of the walking to the Garden where Jesus prays with his disciples). Typically (but depending on the church) after the Holy Eucharist (which Catholics believe to be our Lord and Savior in the flesh after the moment of transubstantiation in the mass) is walked throughout the church, the priest will then continue to walk the Holy Eucharist to the specially adorned chapel or quiet/secluded room where it's intimately adorned for adoration and meditation/prayer with the Lord, until midnight, which is when Catholics symbolically believe Jesus Christ to be alone with the high priests and in jail before he is scourged. We the people, the congregation are to pray with the Lord during that time from when he is placed until midnight. Good Friday; one of the most important events in Christianity where the Passion (the execution and crucifixion of Jesus Christ) of the Lord is commemorated and the day in the church is typically spent in mourning/silence. Catholics don't have mass on this day but instead a "service"; another day where we say and have a service, similar to that of Ash Wednesday (just without the ashes). The Spanish speaking cultures or Latin American cultures who practice the Catholic faith and traditions of their country (traditions that have been brought to the Catholic churches of the United States) make sure that stations of the cross are either done or re-enacted in respect to the crucifixion of our Lord. Then the service is done at some time between noon and 3pm (depending on the church/priest/parish). We meditate on the seven last words uttered by Jesus Christ on the cross with hymns, prayers, and short sermons, then the service provides only the Eucharist. The cross or a cross provided by the parish is venerated by respectfully kissing a part of the cross; if its a crucifix with the image/model of Jesus Christ on it then you are to pick a spot to kiss him in respect and love, then one of the ushers wipes it clean after you, for the next person. Holy Saturday is simply spent in quiet meditation/prayer and fasting in preparations for the Easter Vigil that will be celebrated late in the night, into Easter Day.

NOW that you have a better idea of what goes on, I can now finish my story. Holy Thursday had arrived and I was excited for the evening and in sharing this moment with my oldest who now wasn't just a child being held in the arms but was conscientious of what was going on around her. For one because she was older and comprehended a lot more than her first year of life (she was way too small to know, remember, and understand Easter in 2017) but because she seemed to already have a special relationship with the Lord-it's hard to believe I know but I'll have to expand on that one in another post at another time, needless to say she was always reverent and loving toward a cross, crucifix, image of Mary, the Holy Family, sacred hearts of Jesus and Mary, as well as the guardian angel images. I got our outfits ready for the evening that same morning in anticipation and had her (as well as myself) dressed in casual and comfortable attire for the day in the meantime. We went about our day and even early on I knew that my ex-husband was busy with trying to make sales and "tinkering" with some of his products, so I made sure early on to let him know about the mass in the evening and that it would actually take longer than a typical Sunday mass. He never responded saying that he wasn't going to be attending just that he needed to finish some things before and hopefully he would finish them in time...considering that he was going in and out of the house, then didn't eat lunch with us, didn't spend any time with baby girl and I, didn't help me inside the house whether upstairs or downstairs, nor did he make dinner for us but instead I made sure to prep, cook, and make dinner for us prior to what I knew the mass time was (7pm). 

My ex-husband ate dinner with us but then proceeded to go back outside and "tinker"; but he made sure to be inside on the couch (cooling off he said), talked to yes a few clients but a good amount of calls were to his "buddies" who he likes to chat up with, then spent a good amount of time playing on his phone...my assumption was that he would be or was finishing up and would be able to drive us and help me with our oldest since I did already have a good size tummy in this part of the pregnancy and I had complained some that week of back pain as well as feeling a little off (as far as exhaustion went), then again it also had a lot to do that the little one inside was extra active and wanting to do things around the house kind of day. I imagined that it was going to be a nice family, peaceful, and prayerful evening at mass with what was now my family. Knowing that my ex-husband doesn't take long to get ready (even when in the once in a full solar eclipse he actually dresses up-and I mean in more than just sport shorts and a sporty t-shirt or wife-beater shirt) so after I finished cleaning the kitchen from dinner and putting things back in order, I went to the garage with the oldest to let my ex-husband know that his girls would be getting ready and come back down soon to go to mass; that we would all be leaving soon so that he could time when he needed to shower and start getting ready. His response was, he wasn't going to be going to mass because he had to meet with one of his vendors instead but that he was finishing up and would soon be inside the house. I controlled my facial features, questioned again (I'll admit a somewhat cynical manner) that he WAS NOT going with us, and with his quick and persistent response of "babe I'm trying to make us some money and I need to go see the guy," I closed the door that leads into the house from the garage and started to get ready. Call it immature or perhaps naive or even tell me "you shouldn't have assumed," but I would have expected my (then) husband to have had the decency and courtesy of either telling me earlier he wasn't going or had no plans on going period in addition to something like, "I know how you've been feeling so I can drop you girls off and when I'm done with the vendor can pick you girls up." Nothing, nada, zilch! Then he had the audacity to ask me as I'm leaving in a huff to not only make it on time since I was now running late from dealing with nausea while getting ready and also getting the oldest ready, why I was pissed off at him; my only response was "I'm not pissed off, you're just going to make me late, nothing's wrong, good bye. Say bye Daddy baby girl." I teared up on the drive to the church...

Only five minutes late to the mass and there was already practically nowhere to park! The evening had descended with the sky being dark and I had to park far away from the church itself. I would have been skeptical about where I had parked considering that it was only baby girl and I - I felt relief that another mother with three kids and a family of four had parked by me; well that and my Cadillac has the app and remote control for panic, turning it on/off, and locking/unlocking the vehicle. Grabbed the baby bag, unbuckled baby girl, and we walked our 234 steps into the church. Officially thirteen minutes late to the mass upon entering the gathering area of the church and nowhere to sit, not even the usual places that my family and I sit at are available; also with being how important today was and wanting to explain and show baby girl what was happening throughout the mass I didn't want to just sit in the chapel to listen to everything without actually viewing it all. So imagine this, it's the responsorial psalm of the mass, decent size pregnant woman, carrying a stranger danger eighteen month old child who is also half asleep from falling asleep in route to the church...there is no chivalry or gentlemanly manners anymore and this is something definitely for another post because NO ONE and I mean NO ONE got up for me or another woman standing next to me with her three kids. I remember the days when any man whether with his family or not, single or not, would always make sure that the woman had a seat; damn feminist or "I've got it, I don't need men" attitude women ruining it for the feminine respect that was given to us females before!

...finally, after the Gospel and before anyone sat down for the homily, a single man (who looked middle eastern or perhaps Greek-I'm not quite sure) had the decency and kindness to let me take his seat. I smiled apologetically and tried declining, but he insisted, so I sat down and placed baby girl in my lap. We were sitting down at the edge of the row in the very last seat, and I was triple thankful of the spot because baby girl could see everything! It was actually a really good spot. Baby girl was actually surprisingly and wonderfully well behaved the entire time, and she was so attentive during the movement and parts of the mass. Then when it came to the washing of the feet, I was pleasantly surprised of what this particular parish/church did; they actually had the entire congregation (or at least those that wanted to partake of) wash their feet and there was something sweet and humbling about it because it was every person washing the feet of the person in front of them in the line. It was beautiful and I hope that more parishes or at least this specific parish does it again next year. Baby girl was tired that's for sure but she was sweetly quiet and in aww when we visited the Holy Eucharist in the thirty minutes spent in adoration once the mass was over. It was bordering on 10pm and I knew I had to take her home for bed; my hope was that I would be able to return but sadly even I was too tired...

Similar things occurred on Good Friday, it was just baby girl and I. The only difference on that day was that baby girl made friends with this older couple and elderly Asian woman. The Asian woman she kept showing off her little dog doll too and the older couple she talked too after mass when we were walking back to our vehicle. The older couple were even sweet enough to give her two religious images for her very own (the husband was a Deacon and his wife was a volunteer at the church even in her semi crippling movement).

You see I knew meeting my ex-husband that he was not only NOT Catholic but also was not religious in anyway. I even knew when we got married that he most likely was not going to be one to ever convert; that didn't mean that I wouldn't pray for him and hope that one day he may convert to Catholicism or at least live by the Christian faith and moral code. I guess what I'm getting at is, after various people (even a Priest who had his parents being one non-Catholic and the other Catholic) warned me of how hard, not impossibly but truly hard and dedicated you had to be in that type of marriage and relationship...well I just didn't consider it all together. Even when I was saying my vows in the church to my husband, I kept thinking I could handle it and deal with the hurdles of the faith; the fact is I accepted that my ex-husband wasn't Catholic however I hadn't fully absorbed what that meant and how it would define us. That's exactly what I ended up telling my ex-husband when he asked me what was wrong with me. "I'm not upset or angry at you, I just need time to fully absorb and understand what I'm feeling, because I knew that you weren't Catholic nor would I ever force you to convert or change in that manner, but I wasn't counting on how it would affect me...I just need to cope with it so that I can move forward-that even though you've agreed to the fact that I will raise our daughters Catholic and in the Catholic Church, you will still never be truly a part of it all, that it will always just be me and the girls. I know that you attend mass with us on Sundays but that would probably always be the extent of your participation-so on this matter I am alone with the girls."

So, a word to the wise on couples in a similar relationship, engaged, or about to get married; make sure you have the conversation even if it provokes arguments and/or discussions. Don't back down on your beliefs and religious integrity that is a part of you. You need to fully realize the extent of what's being asked of you and your partner when it comes to the religious vocations/practices, otherwise you will truly feel alone as I do. My joy and love for my faith can only be expressed and understood or perhaps appreciated by my girls now and when they are older, as they carry out their baptismal promises from their Catholic Baptism.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Late Nights with Baby - General/Family

In this post about my two daughters my oldest will be referred to as woman child and the youngest is baby girl.

It's been a total of three weeks since baby girl was born, and the nights seem to be shorter than ever. I wouldn't say its necessarily because its more tiring, but it really does feel like the days have seemed to be dragging out a lot now. Baby girl is growing expeditiously; it seems almost impossible to tell that she's still a newborn baby meanwhile my woman child daughter is trying to cope with the new changes going on in her life. Specifically, being that Mommy it's around and about as much, well not as much as before because I've forced myself to be moving about for the sake of my woman child.

Breast feeding has been going well and baby girls' appetite continues to grow every week-a little more here and there to then fully get into a transition of more milk the following week. I'm noticing all of the changes in my girls and within myself, but more importantly the changes from being a mom the first get go to being a mom the second time around. What do I mean? So, the nights during my woman's child first month of life was a little more tiring and exhausting for lack of a better term. I'm going to assume it's more for the stress I was under and also the surgery itself because of the physical health I was in with the first pregnancy...therefore nightly feedings were bittersweet for me (the moment I could remember them-once I got over the fogginess of the drugs from the hospital) but I vividly remembering always needing help; whether it was my mother getting the milk ready or doing the feeding herself while I was the one doing the milk prepping Then there was other nights that I couldn't do either because I might've pushed myself harder through the day during and I was just too exhausted at night; that's when my mom would do everything for the feeding time herself.

This time around I guess you could say that I'm actually enjoying the afterglow of pregnancy and delivery. Yes, I'm exhausted but I'm also euphoric because these are things that unfortunately I wasn't able to fully enjoy or appreciate until it was already too late with my woman child. Night feedings with her didn't last at the time because she quickly went into a steady schedule for sleeping through the night from a month on. Granted this time around I don't get to sleep as much during the night but it is bittersweet to see this new baby's eyes looking up at me around 2am in the morning...Her trusting eyes look at me knowing that there's some kind of time difference for her compared to the day, but she knows that she will still be getting the deliciousness that is her breast milk and formula milk. That's when it hit me...

One night-about a month and a half after her birth-I didn't wake my husband because frankly he wouldn't be much help since he would do something than either go back to sleep or he would be half asleep doing something that I needed done five minutes ago (men when they try, they just need to frankly try harder) and since my mother was already doing so much (even when my husband claimed to be "helping"), I made sure that my crying baby girl wouldn't wake anyone...I didn't pump the milk but breast fed her straight. I knew though that I would have to warm up milk for her because I was stressed that week so my milk production wouldn't be enough for her that day...It was a quick breast-feeding time and the moment I took baby girl away from my breast she started to cry. I quickly made sure that all doors were closed and that the people I didn't want to wake up wouldn't be awoken by her cry's. I started to warm up the milk and my baby kept wailing out loud, everything that would help her for a bit didn't help. She was inconsolable even the moment that the milk bottle was ready. I had to try to calm her before even giving her the bottle so that she would take it. I remember that I started to tear up, that I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks as I watched her finally suckling on the bottle nipple. I began to cry harder as I caressed the right side of her face as she ate with her eyes closed. I started imaging the moms with no help or assistance from anyone or family but especially not from a mother of their own...I started thinking about the women who were as surprised as I was when I was first pregnant and after having the baby don't really know what to do...The women that loved their children and tried to do everything possible so that they had enough breast milk for the baby, that they had enough nourishment for their baby...the women who were desperate for help and funds and could either not have the breast milk to provide or financially provide the bottled milk or WORSE not being able to either or - no breast milk or the funds to give their baby. How they must feel in their desperation to console and provide for the baby but have nothing to offer for the times that their child requires more from them or that the feeding portion increased as much as the demand. I was feeling helpless in that moment but thinking of all those solid mother's embracing and trying to do right by their child or children and unable to provide, that's a desolation that I don't wish on a woman who should be in bliss embracing and having the intimate moments with their child.

Since then, I make sure to pray at least one Hail Mary for every mother feeding and nursing their baby...a shout out to all your mothers who have gone through this-your resilient and are only going to be fiercer!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Driving on American Fork Canyon Trailhead - General/Family/Recommend

If you're in the Utah area, specifically the Salt Lake City area, then you need to travel south into the American Fork Mountains for some beginner trailheads along with some of the most peaceful and mind blowing views. If you're wanting some peace and quiet with a few dead zones but where you don't even realize you've spent almost four hours in the mountain this is the place for you.

Granted I'm not an experienced trailhead traveler by any means but this one will definitely teach you on whether or not you can trust yourself and if you trust your vehicle. You'll go up the mountain feeling confidant but let me tell you, you'll end up coming down the mountain humbled by its vast display of ginormous magnitude and in the fact that you weren't as experienced a driver as you thought! Where the adult/s may learn if you have children its a peaceful and truly fun experience-well depending how you make of it anyway.

I'm already in a sense incorporating homeschooling into my kids daily experiences and my mom is assisting or primarily enforcing them at this point because of my work. My youngest in 2020 is closing in on turning three when I decide to take this adventure. So I purposely ask for the day off and plan the adventure for my mom and two kiddos. We pack up snacks and lunches because along the route of this trailhead there's a beautiful riverbed/creek bed area; so my plan was for us to enjoy the trailhead in the vehicle and then on the turn back we have our picnic lunch by the river for the children to experience the quiet serene that is nature. I load up the vehicle with the necessities for emergencies: my kids extra pair of clothes (as my oldest is already potty trained and my youngest is almost perfect now at potty training), extra shoes to clean off dirt/dust, alcohol wipes, baby wipes, emergency water, water filled canteens, weatherproof warm jackets (because no joke the moment you enter the mouth of the mountains the temperatures drops from where you started), Clorox wipes, picnic cushion blanket, and my traveling toddler potty. My mom and kiddos are loaded up and we are rocking and rolling!

You'll drive towards the Lehi city and exit going towards W Timpanogos Hwy (92) where you'll enter into the Timpanogos Cave National Park and Mountain Ridges. Going through Lehi is beautiful and you won't forget it!

You'll go onto W Alpine Loop Rd to a trailhead entrance thats a dirt road and the journey begins into the American Fork Mountains. You'll be then officially taking the American Fork Canyon Rd and the entrance to the trailhead is after you pass a very cool mountain top lake (since the road takes you up in elevation before entering into the trailhead). 

My family and I had already taken the main road through these mountains but definitely not into this hidden gem. My mom was thinking it was going to be smooth sailing and no risk or concern...I pointed out the riverbed we would be stopping at on the way back when we starting our incline up the mountain on some of the narrow and rock edge areas of the trail. Lots of rock, bumpy ride, and the children excited at the views and at the drop off we are driving alongside! 

My mom being in the passenger seat is a little more on hedge but continually admits there is something so spell binding when you're up in the mountains (whether Utah, Colorado, New Mexico-just this specific experience is Utah). I think so many people focus on the red rock or red rock mountain areas of the state that they don't expand upon the other beautiful areas and mountain national parks, not just the ski cities like that of Park City. Don't get me wrong! We love the Park City area and the drive but that's not all that Utah has to offer...

Unfortunately we didn't get to go all the way to the end and then turn back, nope! The plan turned challenging and fun and courageous when we had to stop for a potty break. 

There was an easy turnaround at the end of the trailhead (which was only a 4.73 something mile long trailhead) but we had to make the turnaround at the halfway point! We had already finished the dangerous part of the incline and it wouldn't been some smooth sailing but my mother mentioned to us that as a way to get back and then enjoy the riverbed. So there I go driving into a turn around to go back down the mountain. Yes, you guessed it I didn't have some souped up SUV but I definitely tested the limits and constraints of a trust worthy manufacturer and their 4x4 all wheel drive. It didn't disappoint, oh and for the records the vehicles in the mountain states ARE different then the typical baseline vehicles I the southern states....

We made our way back down the mountain to the river bed. Now that for me I felt was the more treacherous part because of the breaking and ABS breaks kicking in but damn if I didn't trust my vehicle and my ability in this moment more than ever! My mom wasn't having mini heart attacks anymore being on thee drop off so she enjoyed the view more. Then we had the most fun when we had vehicles on our side, not once on the drive up but again on the drive back down. We parked at the little spot where the riverbed and check points was on the trailhead; I could almost feel my mom sigh in relief and I'm pretty sure she was tempted to kiss the ground at that point! 

We got out our stuff to set up, relax to the soothing sounds of nature and the peacefully eerie silence in the mountain...you don't get moments like that unless you're in the moment believe me...not even in some retreat is it the same. God truly made magnificence in areas such as these.

So if you live in Utah and you haven't ventured here, commit and take the drive! If you are looking for a unique experience and somewhere new this is a spot for you. Don't take my word for it though! Try it and let me know how your experience was!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Andalous Mediterranean Grill - Recommend/General/Family

If you're in the north DFW area in Texas and you're wanting quality, healthy, delicious, and a solid buffet price! This is the place for you-whether it's on a date night or with your friends and family!

Their selections are fewer than that of Dimassi's Mediterranean Buffet off of 121 in Plano (on the south side) but as for quality, yeah, this one beats it by far! Their labels at Andalous are more accurate and as a fellow Celiac Disease individual they have my stamp of approval! Just like that of other locations drinks are included, although I'll admit that personally the delicious coffee blend is my highlight - whether I'm drinking it with my meal or as a dessert after the meal drink. Their selections of warm items are as I mentioned earlier, less but better quality. Fewer fish selections and a better variety of the chicken and meat protein selections. Their salads are cleaner and fresher, both in crunch and cleanliness of the vegetation. As for their dessert selection, Andalous hands down beats the other Mediterranean Buffet locations in the metroplex.

They are family friendly, and though my kiddos enjoy their fruit and dessert station my children truly enjoy the food there. Their location allows for ample space and a clear view for customers moving around your kids - which when mothers are just trying to enjoy their meal, this goes a long way! They have a large dining hall as well off the side of the main dining room which allows for the bigger and more noisy patrons as well. Overall, it's a must location and a return spot for delicious food!

I would say that Andalous gives Ali Baba's a run for their money and location, however where Ali Baba is more known and has some special items for their buffet, Andalous beats even them (in my opinion) because of the continued freshness and shoot even the space (especially when Ali Baba has customers that never fail all the time, to have annoying kids running around and screaming and hitting your chairs)! 

Don't take my word for it and try it yourself! Venture out and reward your palettes! 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

At Home Coke Icee! - General/Family

So I saw this video at a Thai restaurant and in that video there's a side cart on the street in their native land with glass bottles of Coke and Dr. Pepper and even Root Bear, where they turn them into an instant icee to go in a cup! It's chemistry at work for sure while also being a cool trick to do at home. 

Without knowing for sure what they did or didn't do and after looking at some Thailand YouTube clips of the same side cart stand I did (2) different trials and only (1) of the (2) was successful. So I tried recreating the shaking/stirring machines with a large pot and filled it with ice all around the glass bottles. 

That was a cool chemical reaction to witness and feel as I was "stirring" up the coke bottles inside. Where the pot easily had a few from my spinning and turning once the cold started to seep into the enclosed space than the pot became even harder to spin back and forth in either direction. The top of the pot also seemed to create this sealed like reaction with minimal condensation and a lot of COLD to the touch. 

Well sadly I didn't have the additional assistance to keeping piling in ice and putting in some salt like I was supposed to- so all in all maybe this would be a success if you're willing to be there a while! While also having a second pair of hands to keeping piling in crushed ice to create the colder temperatures and also pour over some salt. Although with the frosted glass and pouring in what I did frost, some of the coke turned into nice cold icicles once poured into the frosted glass.

The second trial and error turned out to be a success even though I didn't have their freezing stirring/shaking tool. I ended up cheating and placed the glass bottles in the freezer. Removing them about 3.5 or 4 hours later. Now that was truly delicious! Once removing the glass bottles you lightly tap the edges of the glass bottle, then uncap the bottle cap slightly to allow air flow in and you'll instantly see a chemical reaction where the coke inside the bottle gets nicely frosted! 

Be careful of a little leaking or overflow but easily wipe it away and stick in your straw to enjoy! Try it for yourself, believe me as a kid it's a fun science experiment and as an adult! It's just freaking delicious!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Kids Needs to Stay Busy - General/Family

As you've seen in some of my other posts, I've tried since the beginning to always incorporate my children in tasks and especially daily chores. It all began once they started walking, the start of just loading dishes into the dishwasher and then they would graduate in tasks as they continued to prove to be trusted with newer and even more delicate tasks. 

I'm not saying you should be going against some child labor laws! I'm an advocate for educating a child to be a decent human being who can live without being a shadow behind Mommy. The child should be feeling confidence in what they're doing and it starts to spread in other things that they are doing in whatever is part of their day to day activities. Their first actual chore task was helping me with laundry; loading into the dryer from the washer and then also taking the clean newly tumbled clothes to the bedroom of whoever's clothes they were. They quickly graduated to the kitchen task of loading the dishwasher. This particular task is one of many benefits-its everyone's participation, lessons in the types of dishes and their cautions or concerns (like the simple butter knives, not sharp but still harmful if not properly handled). It was working together and a leaning curve - they began to understand glass items - both breakable and one to cause harm if broken. 

This task led to helping me to take out all the trash from inside the house and yes for the record they would wash their hands after helping, of course! With every new task they graduate to new levels leading to things that involve outside tasks and chores. I started teaching them how to clean out the car with the wiping down of the leather and glass along with the vacuum. The vacuum was always an interesting experience after I realized that was basically what my kids saw as playtime. They enjoyed the noise and the suction part of the vacuum. So that I could finish the tedious work, I would actually do all the vacuuming while they did the wipe downs, leaving some dirt/trash here and there so they knew that they still had the chore, but my favorite part was hearing their giggles and laughter while "working". 

Start them young, watch their little characters expand and fear of the unknown and challenges either going away or the child/ren coping with at least trying before even having the notion to allow fear to enter into their vocabulary/actions. Besides its not just about the task or chore or the educating aspect, its the fact that even in those things you create memories with it also being family time.

So don't go babying a child when it's not necessary, build them up! Have them build self-esteem, self confidence, and assertiveness in themselves and in whatever task that you've entrust to them. Otherwise you're doing an injustice to them in order for them to succeed in life and in the world without you (no matter how fucked up the world is). They will be able to handle anything and everything with what they've learned with you, coping with the turbulence and injustices of the world as well. You will have done your part as a parent raising a person who can live without being your shadow through life...

I feel that you are a successful parent when you see/hear your child/ren coming back to you to visit and tell you about their experiences instead of always relying on YOU to fix it for them and to make things better every time there's a hardship or difficulty. Did you do your job in providing them the mental and emotional tools to interpret and understand the powers at play? Or did you coddle them in your own fear of "it's getting hard for them"? It's a wonderful feeling when our child/ren need us parents but guess what, how much harm is it doing them when they are always relying on you as their peace, as their help-mate, as their partner, as their lifeline, as their life vests, or worse as if you are their spouse!...parents are to be the compass in their childrens lives-guiding them when they seem/feel lost and when the crazy world has given them whiplash in direction. They have to come to trust their own navigation (with minimal to none in bad decisions/choices) understanding that their own failures will just assist in their growth!

Our child/ren should look for us to basically feel like a little kid in a safe place, so that when they leave from visiting you they are renewed to take on any crazy! :) We as parents need to build/form/teach our child/ren in becoming decent human beings that can make something of themselves and contribute to making society better...they can't do that themselves (individually) if you're really the one always doing everything for them-just saying.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

DIY Folding Clothes - Family Life/General

Before I begin we need to have an understanding on a few things...I'm not not like you're typical coddling and "time out" parent of today's world or the soft parenting type; I also believe in giving my children responsibilities (applicable to their age group of course) and chores. Chores dont warrant money rewards in my house but becomes parts of their routines and lifestyle - I mean last I checked the military isn't paying you at boot camp or BUDS to keep the place you sleep tidy and the discipline of self!...It starts at home and with that so does teaching your children coping mechanisms, but I digress because that's a separate post altogether. So since my children were able to sit up learning mechanisms began for tidiness and discipline, then when they began to walk cleaning up and learning chores around the house began.

My kiddos were helping with laundry loads (at least taking it to the laundry room and helping me or my mom load the washer and dryer. Fast forward to now and my kiddos responsibilities involving the laundry have increased. They are more than capable to doing the whole laundry routine themselves and for their own clothes!

So let's make it fun, entertaining, and easier. Chores in our home always involve music and sometimes goofiness (just depends on what the end goal is) so the kiddos get a little whiny from time to time but sometimes changing up the music or the routine of the chore helps. Hence the new family project to inspire a more encouraging and self satisfaction chore. 

Using up cardboard my kiddos and I created our very own folding boards (ironically on Labor Day weekend too). So it became an arts and crafts time with the excitement building to actually DO the laundry. We didn't use the exact measurements that a lot of videos and instructions stated-so I created our own design that would work for both their clothes and even mine! We also didn't use duct tape like literally all the instructions said. I found that the FedEx/clear packing tape was more foldable in its use and a cleaner look for what we wanted to do. Decorations were done by hand and just using the sharpie markers!

We did lots of laundry and the faces of the kiddos was so great! They were confidant in their work, they were fulfilled because they did it ALL themselves, AND the project alone was also their creation. Best way to build self-esteem, self accomplishment, AND humans that will be able to survive in society regardless of all the other wimps (male and female)...they won't need me to do their laundry but doesn't mean that I still won't enjoy doing it with them! :)

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman