I'm not going to lie that I'm going to be hitting on a sensitive or touchy topic because I'm going to be both critical as well as blunt. So, if you're one of those people in today's society where you're about "participation awards" and the removal of dodgeball/duck duck goose along with the whole mantra of no spanking or light smacking and doing timeouts only then yea this post might offend you. Don't say I didn't warn you.
"I want to tell all the Christian parents that they are the glory of the church. Your witness is sometimes a daily martyrdom. But your mission is great! You bear the hope of the world and of the Church! Stand firm!"
-Cardinal Robert Sarah-
I'm looking around me and I'm seriously shaking my head at the world that I live in and the society my daughters are going to be growing into. First of all, in case you haven't already noticed (or maybe you just choose not to pay attention to) our world has been heavily attacking the home life and more specifically the faith and control within our homes. What affects your home? School systems, social media's, advertisers and entertainment, friendships, relationships outside the home, work life/corporate America, and especially the medical field. Don't worry in another post I'll break it all down but not today AND the guess what none of those have (well in a generalization anyway) - God truly at the center.
See if a person has their foundation created with God in mind and incorporated then nothing truly affects the person. Look at it this way, there are specific ingredients that go into the concrete mix and for the different types of applications in which concrete is used. You have the walls, foundation to hold up little to ginormous structures, then the core of building for the elevator shafts and the stair towers, etc. They all have something in common; you're wanting to make sure that concrete doesn't crack, the concrete structures don't shift/move to cause damage to the structure type, and that it lasts for as long as possible. So, a person needs a solid foundation which is the concrete-the ingredients are the persons personality (both encouraged and developed/evolved) and a person's character now the concrete will need reinforcement bars inside - that is your faith/love for God. If you have God as your reinforcement mixed in with the right personality and character - nothing in the world will ever touch you, have control over you, nor corrupt you.
Some adults and/or parents in general reading this will no doubt start creating excuses I know it! Because it goes against the "norm" or it's not "the norm" or "oh my goodness but then my child will be isolated because of their beliefs" or "that's not how the other kids are" or they don't help their children in picking the right groups and friends to have or they teach their children to quiet the faith voice in order to make friends. You name it the excused can go on for miles and lordy have I heard a lot of them. So, let's rewind from this tangent because the focal point is how to create the solid foundation.
Yes, parents lead by example, and the children will always look to their parents to mimic the mannerism, practices, and intensity of devotion to a faith life. See the level of the parents' devotion is what creates the tone and intensity of the faith life in our children. If the parents are luke-warm and only EAC Catholics/Christians (meaning Easter and Christmas only) then that's the level of importance the children will put to the faith - minimal to none. We should be cautious as parents to what we say, react, and demonstrate regarding the faith life because we can easily be encouraging our children to a strong faith life or just as easily be leading them astray. So, what type of Catholic/Christian are you?
- Do you only go to Sunday Mass when you feel like it?
- Do you prioritize sports over attendance at Sunday Mass - so if your child/ren have games you don't bother going or do you at least make the effort to go to the Saturday Vigil?
- This one always gets people/parents riled because they like to use the excuse of "well they've committed to the sports program and what would we be teaching our kid/children if we don't reinforce their commitment" and many other similar statements...
- My response is always, "oh so the sports program is saving their soul and will get them into heaven?" or "so you're teaching your child/ren that sports is more important than God and in taking the one hour out of your day to praise and give thanks?" or my other counter of "the sports schedules are scheduled out in advance what did you do in your responsibility as their parent to reinforce their commitment AND ensure that God came first because you could easily find a Mass time earlier or later and the day before. It's not like you just got notified about the game just yesterday..."
- Do you even participate in the sacrament of Reconciliation with/in front of your child/ren? If not than that makes you a habitual sinner having committed either mortal or venial sins and never going to confession. Even worse you child/ren born into the Catholic/Christian faith won't ever understand the important and shall follow in your footsteps.
- Do you attend Mass outside of the Sunday obligation?
- Do you attend Eucharistic Adoration?
- Do you attend Mass for the Holy Days of Obligation outside of Sunday?
Parents are using the Church programs as babysitting time frames and though sometimes they can provide a bonus a few free minutes or hours without the children, the faith life begins and ends at home. What we do, how we portray our commitment, and how we participate in the faith life truly impacts more than people realize. Don't stay stagnant parents and don't allow the world to corrupt what's been made good in the eyes of our Lord.
This next part is also going to raise flack because the world/parent's mindset is that babies are these little beings who have no knowledge of anything and that there's no way to teach them anything. This is the lazy white American lifestyle, because all of the heritages outside of the United States sure as hell don't believe nor practice this ideocracy. Yes, you can start training/teaching you child since being in the arms that there is a level of respect and quiet to be had inside the church. My own daughters are living proof as well as my sister (heck so are my grandmother and great great grandmother, etc) and I that even as babies and toddlers the reverence, respect for authority, and quiet inside church (among other places) can be instilled into the children since the being born. My mother never carried a bag of toys and snacks and the stroller; no, it was always a simple baby bag with enough items to coo the baby. Actually, I feel I'm about to go on a squirrel detour, so I'll digress and focus on today's topic.
My mother would whisper in our ears and we would hear her pray throughout the day, so my sister and I grew up with hearing this form of quiet from our mother which then carried over when we were in the Masses. We weren't screaming our heads off or making noises because we had already started since a VERY young age to hear the Mass, to hear prayers, to hear groups in praise and worship like at adoration. Most if not all white American families like to give themselves the excuse of the babies don't know any better or know anything and they don't take an initiative to discipline and teach them, therefore they don't take the babies to Mass from the start or they don't take them enough and ensure a continual education piece. I know what worked for me and I would sometimes play the Mass in the background while my daughters were babies and awake, then worship music, chanting music, and I had them with me (or my mom for that matter) in adoration, weekday Masses (not just Sunday Mass) and they would be with me during confession.
Both daughters at difference occasions decided to push their luck once and only once; my oldest during the Sunday Mass and during the homily, where she decided to do a wail out loud and looked me dead in the eye knowing what she did, my expression changed from soft to firm puling her arms into her chest and pulling her body in close to me while I whispered, "no, don't do that" and I felt her little body try to push back to wail again and I made sure that I beat her to it but looking her in the eyes and whispering, "don't do that. Behave we are with God, we play when we leave." Only repeated twice with both daughters and never had them test me again!
They wouldn't know all of the Catholic practices obviously, but it was beautiful to see that they understood early on the significant of the tabernacle as well as the images of Jesus Christ, the Holy Family, and church structures in general. When we would enter the chapel's, they would get as close as they could to the tabernacles or the exposition of the Holy Eucharist. Staring at it with such quiet wonder...then as they began to walk, they would just move close themselves, sometimes without asking and I wouldn't correct it in the church. It's been always the one location they know I see them, and they don't ask me for permission to get closer to our Lord.
The whole year would have Holy Week and Christmas the peak's in our faith and the girls felt no different. Every Christmas to this day it's still a spellbinding moment to see that my children always want to get as close as they can or be able to hold baby Jesus to warm him and love him and kiss him to sleep. They say their prayers with reverent hands and kiss baby Jesus goodbye "until next time".
Remember that what we do echoes in eternity…so whether you’re a soon to be parent, a new parent, or already a parent (no matter the age of your child/ren) my sincere suggestion to you is to self-reflect and figure out what legacy are you leaving with your children. As a Christian are you truly following the laws of God so that you release into the world a good person that will continue the ministry of God which began with Christ and His disciples? Or are you just a luke-warm Catholic/Christian on your faith journey, where you do the bare minimum in effort and work so that you just “love” your children but don’t discipline them, prepare them for the life ahead even through difficult moments? Or do you concern yourselves more with what the world thinks and your child/ren “fitting in” then them being morally and emotionally mature, where they truly contribute and demonstrate God’s love by their lives so that they can enter into heaven?
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
