The Day My World Changed - General/Family Life

(Originally written March 2017-Did not bother revising editing for authenticity)

Since I was little, I always had this strong connection, vocation (for religious believers like me), or urge/desire (for the non-religious) to have and create a family of my own. Little did I know how beautiful but scary the whole thing would be...It was definitely not planned nor in the order of life that I had anticipated to get pregnant. The irony of it all was that for about 8 months prior I was giving up on family life and finding someone. Yes, I know, it sounds dramatic and stupid considering that I'm in the prime of life (early twenties) however nonetheless that's how I felt. I was concentrating my life back into my career and passions! Yes, I did go back on a dating site, but I really didn't think anything of it. If a date arose from it then "that's nice" was the mantra in my head and I would see what would happen, but my sole focus and attention wouldn't be on that. My physical health was I think at its best and continuing and I had new goals in mind! How God has a sense of humor especially when one of his children thinks she can do it all without anyone in her life. Don't misinterpret me, I thank God for all my talents and gifts because without him providing me with the right tools I wouldn't be where I am in life (that includes parents and family) however, my ego and pride (one of my vices and major defects in certain decisions of life) are what tend to, I think, upset our Lord and Savior. So, while I'm playing checkers, God has already check-mated me. That's right two different playing fields and if a human thinks he/she can play on God's playground then you've got another thing coming!

According to doctors I conceived in the middle of February 2016, but regardless of all my education and involvement in the "real world", I was oblivious and naive to the signs that were all there...since I never thought once that it would happen to me (at that time) or that it was possible, I didn't finally know for sure until March. It was odd too because the only reason I took the pregnancy test was because I was trying to win a bet! After vocalizing my symptoms and how I was feeling, I took the test so I could prove someone else wrong! HA-boy did that backfire! But I actually ended up winning, I think. My situation and circumstance weren't the best at the time so I don't know how anyone else would react, but I know the first emotion was actually panic. It went quickly from panic to tears, to joy, and then stressful concern. My ex-husband (a guy I was just dating at the time) seemed to be joyous and helped in trying to relieve my mind but hearing him only worsened my emotions. So many things were still left pending (for lack of a better word). Me, always having plans and being organized and OCD, couldn't help but feel anger and stress that things weren't as I wanted them or pictured them to be when I would have a baby...The rest of that day was lovely regardless, but I remember that evening I was emotionally on pins and needles...it was until I was snuggled into my bed with the quiet and peaceful darkness of the room covering me, that I enjoyed the moment of knowing that I would be having a baby...After a few years of dating, praying, and getting my heart broken-I was blessed with an upcoming baby.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman