The year 2018 and the Friday before I delivered my second daughter, I was already oddly in pain and feeling a variety of unknown physical variables-many of which weren't anything I had known or ever experienced with my first daughter. I was physically exhausted and felt more heavy than any other day during the pregnancy, I was waddling uncontrollably, my back was hurting from the weight of the baby, I was feeling nothing close to Braxton hicks (as I had experiences with my first) but full on contractions - definitely more painful and persistent where nothing was making them go away- and then finally twice I thought my water had broke. Because of my oldest and I know my not completing what I thought would help prepare the arrival of her sister, I went about my day until I knew for sure that the contractions were close enough together to warrant going into the hospital. So my day continued on like any other with my mom and my oldest daughter...I will admit though that I was definitely even more moody that day. Deciding to let my husband (at that time as he is now my ex-husband) finish up working on his truck without us women around, my mom and I had decided to go visit my aunt and cousins that weren't far from the house. He was tinkering on his truck again and I didn’t know what for this round since it was another new truck and there wasn’t anything wrong that I was made aware of…apologies squirrel moment and I digress…So the afternoon and evening was spent with my cousins at my aunts house. I remember that at one point I had to tell my aunt how I was feeling so I could have some assistance if needed, without the panic or concern mode I knew my mom would go into.
Well the day finally ended and the evening routine began-prepping my eldest for bed. After she was ready for bed I then proceeded to do my own nightly ritual; fixing the bed, washing my face, brushing my teeth, then fixing both my daughters bed and then our bedroom bed. I was still feeling odd or off whack, for lack of a better term, and even my oldest daughter started to act funny...she became uncontrollably clingy to me, that any movement I made from trying to rock her to sleep and leave, she would quickly awaken and try to get me to stay. I then took her into our bedroom to our bed…after a few minutes and thinking that she was peacefully and deeply asleep, she once again awoke to grab my hand while crying so I could stay, her realizing that my breath wasn't near her head/face; my husband couldn't even console or help her but it was getting to the point of my not even able to get up from bed to use the bathroom! So in order for me to have gone to the bathroom I had to literally go downstairs to the first floor and hand her to my mother while I used the bathroom; that was the only thing that would console her and give her comfort. My mother was the only person that she was able to calmly be with while she wasn't with me. Then when I was out of the bathroom and headed to bed, I had to have her with me and falling asleep with me...and that's where she stayed until about 1:15am. At 1:15am I had to move to the guest bedroom bed because between both my husband and oldest daughter, I was being kicked out of the bed! Thankfully my oldest was in deep REM sleep so my departure didn’t disturb her. At that moment I still felt my baby belly move or shift around, while walking to the guest bedroom and settled in a comfortable spot to fall asleep and rest…after of course relieving myself again in the bathroom. Prego women out there know exactly how annoying this part can be 😋
I oddly woke up again around 2:30am because I felt the sensation of needing to use the bathroom again. So there I go, big belly and all, when I noticed as I made my way back to bed that the baby hadn't budged or shifted as she usually did when I would use the bathroom. I made a mental note and then tucked myself in bed (more like rolly pollied my way back into the bed and fixed myself into what was the most comfortable position possible and tried to go back to sleep; except when I would rub my belly, the baby was still not making any movement. She would usually nudge me in someway when I would rub my belly and she wasn't doing it at all. I stayed calm thinking that maybe it was just my overall panic of the delivery date being close by, financial stress already, the fact that I thought I had my water broken since earlier, etc. I could even almost hear a doctor and my husbands voice in my head saying “babies in the belly fall asleep too”, but this was also intuitive for me, my mom had always reinforced to trust my instincts pre pregnancies and especially post. So my first goal was to stay calm, so I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. I felt myself moving or more like shifting positions in bed, so my hands veered back to rub my belly and still no movement...I tried gently nudging my stomach and still nothing. Everything and anything I did that would usually make the baby move wasn't working and the baby wasn't moving at all, nor any butterfly sensations of any kind. What felt like hours was only twenty seven minutes later and an emergency phone call to the doctor on call from my OBGYN office. I continued to try everything to make the baby move and when still nothing, I don’t remember how but I felt tears streaming down my face as I quietly cried, while walking to our bedroom to wake my husband. I walked towards his side of the bed and nudged him awake as I felt the hot tears rolling down my cheeks more and started whispering to him what was happening, so as not to wake our oldest sleeping in our bed. My husband tried to calm me down and then proceeded to do his things that would usually annoy or make the baby move and even his touches wouldn't do it! No reaction from within on the baby’s part. He finally just said for us to get ready and go to Labor and Delivery. I knew what that meant, money we didn't have for expenses we couldn't afford at this time, and my thoughts were going to the worst scenarios of what was going on in my stomach; so I couldn't help but begin to pray like crazy!
I started to change into my "check in clothes" even though I was having contraction pains, grabbed my "overnight bag" for the delivery scenario option just in case, then fixed the bed with our oldest daughter still sleeping, when my husband came quickly back upstairs to our bedroom to let me know that he had woken up my mother and was getting the truck ready with the binder we would need for the hospital. I started to tear up even more knowing I was leaving one little one while being cornered for the other little one...my mom gave me a quick blessing and then my husband and I headed out the door to the hospital. Thankfully a healthy second daughter was born almost three days later.
What’s the point of this story you may ask? The point is, whether it’s your first pregnancy or your 20th pregnancy, trust your instincts as a mom and/or mom to be because it’s the start of knowing how to be proactive where your kid/s safety, health, growth, and overall well-being is concerned. If you don’t know how to interpret those “spider senses” the pregnancy is a good start to understanding and “reading” those instinctual sensations you have.
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
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