The Start of Family Dynamics - Family/General/Society

Please leave all the "Woke Movement" and the gender war that continues to fester/evolve/progress in society out of my blog and especially this post, because regardless of religion science proves that chromosomes of a woman are what dictate the gender that also CAN get pregnant. Thank you so much and have a great day/night! Now officially starting this post :)

I don't know if I've said it before or not, however I will say that you'll probably hear it again and again from me...there is no book or manual to being a parent. I know, there's so much material on the shelves or via e-books, regarding "What to Expect When You're Expecting" or books claiming on trying to be helpful in parental methods as children grow up. First off, the same way that a "knight in shining amor" is a fallacy there are literally NO books or material out there that can assist you to be the best parent or to be "fully prepared for pregnancy" and thereafter. Sorry, if you want to buy into that bullshit be my guest and waste money on books you won't need. Granted I didn't say that the material out there isn't informative and can perhaps help a percentage of the world! However, why go outside of your family and/or friends within your circle, when they are going to be the best source of information! 

I mean if doctors aren't already telling you at your OBGYN appointment-your pregnancy is going to be 100% different than the next pregnant woman who enters; everything will vary and nothing and I mean nothing will be the same, perhaps similar but definitely not the same! So from your first sonogram/blood work/pregnancy test indicating your pregnant start talking to the oldest woman in your female or friend and get some one-on-one time with them. The same statement applies for post delivery, it's a fact that you are 100% not like any other mother from that moment forward; perhaps similarities with other mothers but still definitely not the same. Correction the only thing that's the same with another woman who is pregnant is only two things; whether the delivery was executed via naturally or involving surgery with a c-section delivery. You then get another wonderful fact of also being 100% different in your parenting ways...as young as I was when I had my first child I've noticed then and throughout the years that no one mother is the same in their motherly ways/methods, whether that's through education or upbringing. I can't keep reiterating enough, you are and will never be like someone else and ya know what why would you wanna be?! Then the baby's doctor (Pediatrician) will also or should be telling you that you're baby will be 100% NOT like any other boy or girl...again perhaps similarities to other babies in their growth but nothing close to the "same". 

OK so where am I going with this you might be asking, or banging your head on a wall of some kind till I get to the point. Thanks for your patience on my above tangent before finally getting to my point! Now I can get into the details of it all..with some visual affects as well. So below is a video of one of my kids, only about six or seven months old and already using utensils as well as not eating sloppy or messy as other parents allow. I've seen friends kids, known acquaintances kids, and even out in public events or restaurants where parents just allow their kids to be as sloppy as possible without any care in the world in the mannerism or at least trying to help provide the structure early on in their eating habit. It's those types of kids that give the rest of the mannered, educated, and overall wanting to learn kids a bad rep/name especially for in public. 

I find that the phrase "kids are resilient" resonates in my head for something as small as this. Many people will say when their kids are messy and creating a mess on the table/high chair table top, "oh they're just being kids". Those same parents will be whining and complaining when those same kids as their older don't even know how to pick up after themselves in their rooms and/or throughout the house. All because a parent will be thinking "oh they're only kids once," or again "they're just being kids", or "isn't that cute" especially after a mess is made with the child having their cupcake and frosting all over their face and clothes (or on their naked chests for some families that allow it) as well as all over the floor...Can you tell that this irks me some (sarcastic tone by the way) :p 

Anyway, the point is that a parent shouldn't just follow what someone else does because from the moment of conception and even post birth, the mother (or parents in general) as well as the child are nothing like anyone else. Therefore, what works for you may not work for another or what works for your child/children may not work for other children; however, the basis should remain the same for all parents, to create a stable foundation for the child in not only their home environment but also in their upbringing/child rearing/instilling discipline, proper exposure to people and external environments outside of their home while most importantly making sure that you are educating in all aspects a well rounded person to be able to succeed little by little in their growth as well as reinforcing what becomes their personality and character. And yes something as simple as how a baby/child eats is the start of it all...at least how I've seen anyway...

I'll admit that the above wasn't just about providing personal opinion but also my way of venting on how I continue to see parents screw up the future individuals who I fear will be our leaders and supposed to be taking care of us as we get older...yea SO NOT feeling reassured in the least...that being said, I can now go off on a few others tangents in other posts that tie or stem from this one :) 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

What Does Your Ring Say About You - General/Relationships

If you're a female and no matter your age, whether out of curiosity or possibly just to see the styles - we've all at one point or another taken a gander at engagement rings or wedding bands. Although what I've noticed over the years is that the styles of the engagements rings are starting to be either more gaudy or people have just not cared for the overall style and just want the "big rock" on their finger. Either way I think I would take a "hereditary rock" over the "typical" rings sets or rings out there. Then some of the pretty designs or the more detailed engagement rings are so expensive that a guy probably has to make payments into their marriage OR they have to end up giving away a kidney. 

What would be the point of my post you say. Well it's more based off of my observation from the public and some girlfriends of mine. Personally I don't understand why women expect such a big rock. Hey why not have your man spend that money like for anniversary jewelry or when you want to kind of "upgrade" your ring after your wedding or something. Why should a man spend a god-awful amount of money on something that you may or may not decide to where after the big day, because some women pick just as gaudy wedding bands! I feel like the engagement rings should have a story that ties into the beauty of the ring itself; whether that's the story of the couple or perhaps just how the man see the woman. Either way I feel with the percentages of divorces still heavily on the rise, maybe if couples focused more on the "life story" instead of the "love story" from the beginning of the dating phase and relationship, then MAYBE the couple can focus more on the important aspects of the relationship during the engagement and thereafter. 

So below are just a few I found on google-see which ones you look or if you didn't like any of these. Personally my favorite is the fourth image below but I do like and can appreciate the sixth image...So what's your ring style for an engagement ring.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

121 & DNT Intersection - General

Not only was I born and raised in Texas but no one will ever take the Texan out of me. That being said, I'm continually surprised at how the population of the great lone star state has increased. Unfortunately, it's not just because of the Texans pro-creating nope it's mostly the dumb Californians who have continued to push into our state border and make their new home here. Yea know what I digress about that though because talking about those f-tards is going to needs pages and pages as it would also talk about their damn f-upped policies too. Anywho! 

The point I'm tying to get at regarding this post is about my state. The main cities of the state have truly evolved and expanded. Structurally, population sizes, small businesses, chains, large businesses, corporate company branches, hotels, communities/neighborhooods, and more importantly our roadways. The Texas span of roadways and highways has always impressed me or the way our roadways are organized during construction is both mind boggling and impressionable to me. Living outside of Texas has one appreciating how the Lone Star State really is organized and unique in the most interesting of ways. What does that mean? Well for starters after traveling the nation and living outside of Texas you come to appreciate how organized (most if not all the time) the construction of the roadways are for Texans because let me you some other states are seriously out of sorts! 

Which brings me to this picture I found in my digital photo albums. I took it back in 2011 on a Nikon camera at the time. It was when they were working on the crossover of 121 onto the Dallas North Tollway. 

I honestly was taking the picture because of the sunset when I was driving home from work but I've kept it for so long because of how cool the cranes and construction trucks look like in the foreground, in a pretty unique shadow from the sun rays behind. For those of you reading this and quite possibly don remember this time period of construction or perhaps you weren't living here yet or maybe you never drove out to the Plano and Frisco area-whatever category you fall under, the point is I remember this job site so vividly and the level of thought process provided for this traffic control during it's construction...well needless to say it was both impressionable (like I mentioned above) and leaves you itching to meet or perhaps know exactly who was in charge of the planning, routing, and organization of the install and traffic control. 

Anyway, just had to share because I was reminiscing...the fact is moments like this or pictures with meaning are always something that helps me reflect not just in my history but of how/who I was during that time period. So what's your favorite highway or spot where perhaps you've taken a photo with construction as your background :p .

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

A Tri-State Location - Recommend/General/Family

If none of you have ventured out into the eastern states of our nation then you are surely missing out! Not only is there so much history there but the drive itself is gorgeous! Especially during the autumn and winter seasons, granted winter season brings in the snowed in and inclement weather days but they are so used to it up in those northern states that its truly mind blowing how quickly they clear the roads up there while in Texas (or the south in general) everyone panics with a little ice or a snowstorm! Anyway I digress to move on with the topic at hand!

Aside from there being a lot of history, there are also just some good gem locations to explore whether it's for hiking, mountain climbing, camping, exploring, taking in the sites, new food, or even the occasional boat/train ride. One of our favorite locations is Harpers Ferry in West Virginia. Yes, one can  straddle the state line to be in two places at once but if you haven't managed to be in three places at once then this is an adventure for you! First off driving through Virginia is beautiful but the state has some good roads that lead into other states. Crossing a bridge like the picture I took below, you straddle Maryland Virginia, then in a brief corner of a riverbank you're in the West Virginia, Virginia, and Maryland tri-state. 

After passing the river entering into Maryland, there's a nice little national park or natural preserve (to be honest I forget) and it's where many take to a few trails especially as it leads to some nice river entries for kayaking and canoeing. You park alongside the highway where there's a little constructed break-off for travelers. Once you park you make your way down this steep decline of dirt, pebbles, and rocks that leads you through pretty trees and colors until you find yourself or your ears for that matter, honing in on the intense rushing sound of water. A few feet into the tree-lines and you come face to face with a beautiful rushing waterfall that has so much natural pressure the sound alone is both intense, soothing, and peaceful. You can literally sit down on one of the boulders nearby and just take in the scenery. 

When you travel away from Maryland and finally into Harper's Ferry, West Virginia. You cross back over the bridge and take yourself into the neighborhood before you come across the main entrance in the Harper's Ferry town. Again the views, sites, and scenes are just aww-stounding and impressionable. The town itself is oddly structured but so quaint that you hardly notice the unruly nature of the winding roads and the buildings themselves. There's a lot they've done to preserve the town but you can also see that they've tried to maintain or preserve its originality while updating facades of buildings and the roads. With the town having a full train station center, you see and hear a vintage looking train station and train still in full function! Its beautiful and the area of the tracks that lead into the mountain are impressive and also a treat to see. Their main parking for travelers/guests is by the train station so you can easily walk around the whole town and then some; as in the beautiful trails in Harper especially the ones that lead across the river and into the mountains of Maryland state. There's a path that leads to some national markers from the main town area, leading up to the river's edge, which is where I caught the picture below. My oldest with my dad after looking at the coin looking plates on the ground that tell a story about the founders of the town who were explorers. It a fascinating history of the town.

Still on that same path (that I mentioned above) it continues to lead past the river edge area and onto a walkway bridge that's alongside the railroad tracks. That's where the below picture was taken of myself and my two kiddos! The walkway is truly as long as it seems in the pic but what my picture doesn't show is the beautiful scene you get to witness as you're on the walkway. You see the mountain ridges and rigid tree-lines on the mountains and the beautiful reflections against the water. One of the best parts is that breathing it all in you don't even realize how far you're walking until you realize where you're standing...Also in case I haven't explained, the "mountains" in Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland aren'y your harsh and rocky material you see in New Mexico, Utah, or Colorado no these are plush with green (during spring and summer), colors, textures, fog, warmth, and cold blue colors in certain lights and in certain locations. There's a green that you just have to witness for yourself. 

So as you keeping walking this same path from the town, to a river's edge, then across the walkway bridge alongside the train railroad tracks, crossing the river to the Maryland side of the town, onto a dirt trail that is an actual trail to hike up the mountain ridge. You see a variety of people on this trail who are returning back to town from their steep hike up the mountain while others are making their way up the mountain for what is to be the most intense and inspiring site at the top of the mountain, to witness the sunset. Because of the ages of my kiddos, my family and I would alway stick to the trails while I secretly promised myself that I would return one day and make that half a day hike/climb up the mountain to sit and watch the play of the sun and sky with it's unique colors...

When we walked the trail along the Maryland side, it is what I consider to be a very intimate trail with enough spell binding spots to take in the whole experience and trail. That's where this next picture is taken (below). 

Honestly I can't fathom, how one could miss the beauty and rareness of this town. So if you're on the east coast make it a point of driving by and stopping OR if you're just looking for a new adventure, this is an area to put on your list of places to visit...whether by yourself, with a significant other, or especially a family trip. You won’t regret it!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

The Joule - Recommend

I was looking through digital photo albums and came across something I realized I hadn't written about. One of my favorite Dallas, TX recommendations too ;)

Before being a full time mom (actually even now I would and will still do the same thing-when time/schedules allow) my career was everything to me and with all my hard work I liked to splurge on myself. Ironically now with my kids my splurging moments are slightly different but that's neither here nor there, anyway! Squirrel moment I know...So after times or periods of hard work I liked to plan either staycations by trying out new places or I would splurge on myself for things I enjoyed and/or wanted. So when my career allowed me to work in the downtown Dallas area, I was able to expand my experiences (among other things...) and staycations in the downtown area were definitely more fun! 

Whether for a staycation, visiting with family, visiting with a significant other, or perhaps even visiting for work purposes-The Joule in downtown Dallas, TX is a must stay. First off it's location is ideal for town cars, Ubers, Lyfts, or walking to nearby popular locations including the Arts District and the nearest DART track. The hotel itself has a beautiful setup inside. A clean modernized design, areas that will make you feel you're in a more contemporary hotel structure yet the outer facade reveals beautiful lines of the old Dallas feel. The hotel connects to a delicious bar and restaurant and the second main entrance leading to the back street. The hotel is located near some delicious restaurants and even in house or room service, the food won't disappoint. Their spa and fitness center are impressionable, I wouldn't necessarily say the best but it suits the needs if you are a spa goer or like to workout regardless of your time away from home. They are a pet friendly hotel and it's a high rise structured hotel. The bar and lounge with an age restriction after a certain time is at the high top bar that connects to the high rise swimming pool that extends over the street below so at the end of the pool edge you can literally see the street and cars below. This type of pool was long made before the one in Houston by the way :p 

When I had my staycation for two nights and three days, I stayed in the Joule Suite (image below from the hotel website); a lovely layout with a separate living area and space, with a door separating the king size bed in an intimate and comfortable bedroom with one badass bathroom! The highlight and full enjoyment of that stay wasn't the trial of the hotel spa I had but more the complete enjoyment of the masterfully designed bathroom. There is a beautifully tiled and marble design for the bathroom but what was impressionable to me anyway was the in room spa package they provide to enjoy the high pressure jets in the jacuzzi style tub and I've never been one for long showers but holy cow! Their large walk in shower with a state of the art waterfall design top spray in addition to the extensive wall mounted sprays leaves nothing for one hell of an experience. The pressure almost perfect coming from all heads and nozzles, their shampoo and conditioners are airy and smell wonderful, then whether you're in the shower by yourself and enjoying it with someone, it leaves nothing to be desired for and is both relaxing and soothing in itself. Ending the bathroom experience with deliciously soft robes, making you feel at home and comfy so you don't even wanna bother with lounge wear or pajamas but simply put on your robe and plop on the bed! During my stay the hotel offers feather or memory foam pillows so of course I asked for the memory foam. 

Now the picture at the very start of this post was for my 24th birthday with some girlfriends, sister, and a coworker (at that time). Due to the plans and events of the night for the celebration I had wanted to rent a room and since it was originally supposed to just be for my sister and I, I went with the simply Deluxe Room. So if you're on a budget the Deluxe Room is both affordable and still provides you with that pampering feel. Smaller footprint but the amenities from the hotel and the bathroom design is still there. The bathroom isn't obviously as large as the Joule Suite I mentioned earlier but thankfully they took care in the shower design so the experience of the shower is still awesome! 

So the next time you plan a stay in Dallas check out this spot ;) It won't disappoint. 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Communication - Recommend/Book

Whether professional, personal, or familial relationships they all have an important component-communication. So that brings one to ask, how do YOU communicate?

The world says there's a specific way to communicate as a professional; something not just learned while having a job or building a career but hopefully something you've learned in your high school as well as if you've had a college education. Then there's the social etiquette of communication right, for when you're on dates or at a public event as a host or as an attendee, etc. These I find are typically taught more so in your home environment to start and then acquired or fine tuned while you're pursuing the education road-don’t get me wrong if you don’t choose education and go into the workforce than you end up fine tuning it faster (in certain fields). Now for the personal relationships…those I feel are based off of a few factors: the first being how the relationships is (whether romantic or familial)-are you on good terms with that person, trust, etc then secondly, how close is the relationship-are they in your inner circle or are they more of a distant relative, etc, then lastly what emotions do you carry for that person-do you feel you have to keep yourself in check or can you vocalize and be 100% yourself around them, etc. I’m not expert, but from what I’ve seen those are the three main things that tend to guide or regulate the manner of communication had.

So why is this even a topic for me-because of a great read! I highly suggest this book for anyone no matter if their wanting to improve their communication style, merely try a new technique, or perhaps just want to be a more evolved person! It’s truly a good read and one to have under your belt or in your heads filing system. 

So take a read a let me know what you think!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

What's Your Love Language - Relationships

Whether it's a romantic or platonic relationship, we all have specific needs and methods in which we communicate. It's not always easy to be able to decipher how to communicate with individuals especially in the workplace, at home, and/or with love interests. So here I go writing a post about what I consider to be one of the top three things someone should know before not only entering into a romantic relationship but also maintaining the familial/friendship relationships we have through life. Here we go!

First off, how can you know what to ask for from your partner/friend if you in turn don't even know what it is your wanting from that someone. Although communication is key, I feel that figuring out and knowing what your love language is ranks as one of the top three things to understand and accept before having any of your relationships come into fruition. What do I mean you ask or why is this so important? Well knowing, understanding, and accepting what you love language is with assist in sometimes the arguments/discussions had or perhaps allow you to explain to others how they can best know and love you or even assist someone in understanding where your point of view comes from - all because of your love language. I will say though that this specific post will be expanding more on the romantic relationship base. 

We all receive and provide love in different ways and according to Dr. Gray Chapman it's in five specific ways. Below is a snapshot from the special website on love languages and you can click on the image to peruse more. 

So, what are the five different ways? You have "words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch." If you're too lazy to google more on the love languages, don't worry because we're delving into each of them for you.

1. Words of Affirmation
1. This love language feeds off of someones words building them up, where it's the spoken words of affection (whether through praise, compliments, encouragement, empowerment, etc.) Words of hate or words that are harsh can effect you for a long time.
2. Acts of Service
1. Someone who has this as their love language experiences and feels love through the selfless actions and willingness of their partners, through acts of kindness and more importantly of making their partners lives easier/less of a struggle by taking away some of their burdens. A prime example would be someone who works a long shift, but their partner knowing this, would perhaps make dinner and have the kitchen clean so when their partner arrives from their long day they are surprised by what they find, and all without having been asked/told how they could make their day easier or better. If their partner is lazy or giving broken promises, they can easily be made to feel unloved or not important.
3. Receiving Gifts
1. One must take note that this particular love language has no exact association to materialistic things or more precisely doesn't always relate to tangible objects all the time. It's more a defined gift that specifically makes the person happy, perhaps by someone providing their favorite drink just because or sending someone a song to let them know it reminds them of their partner. It's not about gaudy jewelry or extravagant gifts...it's about the significance behind the gift given to that person. Generic gifts or forgotten special/significant events are NOT ideal for someone with this love language. 
4. Quality Time
1. The easiest way to describe this love language would be...the person who has this has their love language doesn't feel loved when someone can't be actively listening or that has had  long periods or timeframes without some one-on-one time with their partner. The best thing for a partner to do for this person who experiences this love language is to always be actively present with them, not staring at their phones or distracted by anything and everything, it's a focused attention on their time together, undivided attention to them as a couple and the other as a person.
5. Physical Touch
1. I feel like this one is self explanatory :) BUT if you still need it written out here goes...kissing, hugs, holding hands, etc Any and all forms of physical contact are the basis of this love language for someone. Touches convey safety, love, warmth, cherished, coddled, protected, etc. When the person who has this love language experiences physical neglect, a barrier or wedge will shortly follow if not immediate.

The biggest mistake and error I believe that anyone can do when their interested in someone, dating, or freshly into a new relationship is NOT entrust/let the other person know what their love language is. i feel that it would assist in leveling the "playing field" for expectations on how the couple can nurture and express themselves to each other. So don't wait until it's too late and you're wondering whether your significant other or spouse still loves you or let those negative thoughts enter your mind with doubts about things that your assuming, all because you never relayed to the person you love/your love interest what your love language is. I mean quite frankly unless this is openly and freely divulged into the other, the other person won't take notice in how to "love you" unless you actually tell them!

For those of you who have expressed your love language and already have issues with your significant other or spouse...that means yours is a special specific situation that goes past love languages...

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman