The Start of Family Dynamics - Family/General/Society

Please leave all the "Woke Movement" and the gender war that continues to fester/evolve/progress in society out of my blog and especially this post, because regardless of religion science proves that chromosomes of a woman are what dictate the gender that also CAN get pregnant. Thank you so much and have a great day/night! Now officially starting this post :)

I don't know if I've said it before or not, however I will say that you'll probably hear it again and again from me...there is no book or manual to being a parent. I know, there's so much material on the shelves or via e-books, regarding "What to Expect When You're Expecting" or books claiming on trying to be helpful in parental methods as children grow up. First off, the same way that a "knight in shining amor" is a fallacy there are literally NO books or material out there that can assist you to be the best parent or to be "fully prepared for pregnancy" and thereafter. Sorry, if you want to buy into that bullshit be my guest and waste money on books you won't need. Granted I didn't say that the material out there isn't informative and can perhaps help a percentage of the world! However, why go outside of your family and/or friends within your circle, when they are going to be the best source of information! 

I mean if doctors aren't already telling you at your OBGYN appointment-your pregnancy is going to be 100% different than the next pregnant woman who enters; everything will vary and nothing and I mean nothing will be the same, perhaps similar but definitely not the same! So from your first sonogram/blood work/pregnancy test indicating your pregnant start talking to the oldest woman in your female or friend and get some one-on-one time with them. The same statement applies for post delivery, it's a fact that you are 100% not like any other mother from that moment forward; perhaps similarities with other mothers but still definitely not the same. Correction the only thing that's the same with another woman who is pregnant is only two things; whether the delivery was executed via naturally or involving surgery with a c-section delivery. You then get another wonderful fact of also being 100% different in your parenting ways...as young as I was when I had my first child I've noticed then and throughout the years that no one mother is the same in their motherly ways/methods, whether that's through education or upbringing. I can't keep reiterating enough, you are and will never be like someone else and ya know what why would you wanna be?! Then the baby's doctor (Pediatrician) will also or should be telling you that you're baby will be 100% NOT like any other boy or girl...again perhaps similarities to other babies in their growth but nothing close to the "same". 

OK so where am I going with this you might be asking, or banging your head on a wall of some kind till I get to the point. Thanks for your patience on my above tangent before finally getting to my point! Now I can get into the details of it all..with some visual affects as well. So below is a video of one of my kids, only about six or seven months old and already using utensils as well as not eating sloppy or messy as other parents allow. I've seen friends kids, known acquaintances kids, and even out in public events or restaurants where parents just allow their kids to be as sloppy as possible without any care in the world in the mannerism or at least trying to help provide the structure early on in their eating habit. It's those types of kids that give the rest of the mannered, educated, and overall wanting to learn kids a bad rep/name especially for in public. 

I find that the phrase "kids are resilient" resonates in my head for something as small as this. Many people will say when their kids are messy and creating a mess on the table/high chair table top, "oh they're just being kids". Those same parents will be whining and complaining when those same kids as their older don't even know how to pick up after themselves in their rooms and/or throughout the house. All because a parent will be thinking "oh they're only kids once," or again "they're just being kids", or "isn't that cute" especially after a mess is made with the child having their cupcake and frosting all over their face and clothes (or on their naked chests for some families that allow it) as well as all over the floor...Can you tell that this irks me some (sarcastic tone by the way) :p 

Anyway, the point is that a parent shouldn't just follow what someone else does because from the moment of conception and even post birth, the mother (or parents in general) as well as the child are nothing like anyone else. Therefore, what works for you may not work for another or what works for your child/children may not work for other children; however, the basis should remain the same for all parents, to create a stable foundation for the child in not only their home environment but also in their upbringing/child rearing/instilling discipline, proper exposure to people and external environments outside of their home while most importantly making sure that you are educating in all aspects a well rounded person to be able to succeed little by little in their growth as well as reinforcing what becomes their personality and character. And yes something as simple as how a baby/child eats is the start of it all...at least how I've seen anyway...

I'll admit that the above wasn't just about providing personal opinion but also my way of venting on how I continue to see parents screw up the future individuals who I fear will be our leaders and supposed to be taking care of us as we get older...yea SO NOT feeling reassured in the least...that being said, I can now go off on a few others tangents in other posts that tie or stem from this one :) 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Indoor Herbs/Garden - General

If you're a regular you've probably no doubt seen one of my prior posts regarding outdoors planting on a budget. For those of you as my first time reader, just peruse and you'll find it-it's an earlier post I've written. Moving along...

So in that said previous post I mentioned specifically some plants that were great for cooking as well as natural mosquito repellants during the hot season and for those plants to be placed near your main entryways or literally right next to the door that people most frequently use to enter into your home. Today's post expands on a little cool project that you can do indoors and not only can it be fun for the kiddos BUT it's still pocketbook friendly!

Back in 2018 I found some great items at Dollar Tree (a more upscale Dollar General feel and pricing) not really knowing how awesome they would have my plants turn out. First off, for any of you who are only Target or Walmart or whatever neighborhood market place you have and refuse to enter into some of those budget friendly spots-it's a darn shame because there are some great things in there I'll have you know! So taking my oldest (while pregnant again) into the Dollar Tree store we came upon some really fun items for the "spring" and "floral" section they organized at the front of the store. They had packages of "dirt-less dirt" which almost looked like a bunch of moss in a nicely packaged ziplock bag. Not knowing how much I would come to love them, I only placed six in my cart. I say six because in reading the directions you could put dirt in the flowering part you used the product in, you would just have to have more of the dirt-less product than actual dirt. Well right next to that package was the plastic flowering pots. Made a quick decision and decided to try my own take at vertical indoor herb garden.

I bought a total of twelve white plastic flowering pots, because I wanted my oldest to help me in decorating or making it an outdoor arts and crafts experience for her and I. Found some little chalkboard like signs that were on clips, so bought those with the idea to use those as my labels for the flowering pots. Then went back to the dirt-less package area and bought them out, buying and taking home with me a total of fifteen. I didn't know how they would (or wouldn't) work so I didn't want to risk wasting my time in coming back; I mean they were only a dollar a piece why would I bother leaving them at the store when I could just take them!

Well I knew that for the good stuff I had to buy at a better store, therefore there we went to Walmart to buy the white chalk paint marker, a package of paint pens, and the herbs that my oldest and I would be planting together in the house. so the total for it all: twelve flowering pots, fifteen dirt-less packages, the mini chalkboard signs, paint markers, chalk marker, four wood boards, some wood nails, the wall decals for the wall you'll see in the picture and of course the twelve plants to plant. The twelve plants consisted of lemon thyme, lavender, sweet mint, and cilantro; all of the above for the grand total of $96 and some change. It could have probably been less had ai not bought all of the dirt-less packages and started off with so many plants, but boy am I glad I did! We got home, unloaded everything onto a table in the garage and my oldest daughters proceeded in doing some arts and crafts with me while we did our project and assisted me in the planting portion of the project. When it came to setting up the wall she also helped me, in her way anyway. Below is the finished product.

I was SO shockingly surprised how well this little idea turned out and how much fun it was for my oldest and I, especially since we make a lot of sweet mint herbal sweet tea and for anyone who knows or uses sweet mint, the more you cut the faster and larger quantity of sweet mint grow in...well when you take care of your plants anyway. The dirt-less dirt was badass considering I was only watering once a week and no more than a cup so that the moisture retained (as the package explains) would work its magic. I mean I wasn't even using "plant food" it was just simple vitamin D light from the sun even though it was in a corner and the observational care. If I found that I may have missed the care of the plant and it would start to die off, I had the extra material on hand already to swap out plants/herbs and keep it all going.

The moral of the story is not only to incorporate your kids BUT that someone can not and should not dis the cheap locations and options for the category in use, such as the one used here, for gardening/planting. Are there any cool tips or creative streaks that you can provide?

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Step Aside La Madeleine - Health/General

I'll admit that I'm nowhere near just a salad only type person however life circumstances have had me changing some eating habits and life styles affected by food. So, tell me what type of salad person are you?

Are you the type of salad person that has seafood mix or the poultry/meat protein based? Fruits or no fruits? Tart, citrus, or sweet flavors mixed in? Most importantly are you a lettuce, wedge, spring mix, spinach, arugula, or a mixture of them all? I know so many choices and it’s just for a simple salad!! Well the price of living isn’t getting any cheaper so thought to write about a healthy saver for not only your pockets but for your health. 

Obviously the more green veggies you intake the better for you, not only for your weight but your overall lifestyle! So I thought to use La Madeleine because they have locations nationwide and they do have some good healthy as well as satisfying options. The only problem is that if I ate there for lunch for five days a week, I would be eating into my sushi dinner for the weekend or my cruising gas money. So I'm choosing their "Strawberry Bacon Spinach Salad with Chicken" which is $10.88 (then you add the tax of course); with that being for lunch for five days out of the week you're looking at what about anywhere between $70 - $80 for that week. As opposed to exactly what you see in my picture!

All fresh ingredients that will range you from $30 - $42 (give or take) whether you're shopping at Wal-Mart or Kroger. The things is that price gives you large containers of strawberry, blueberry, 16oz Spinach container, a whole chicken (that you'll obviously have to fix and portion out for each of your salad servings), and either a lemon or balsamic salad dressing container. See the thing is though, that with this price and those large containers, you have the delicious berry spinach salad with chicken for not only five days worth of lunches but also dinners if you'd like and other fruit and chicken creations! So nothing against La Madeleine but I'm good with making my Spinach Salads at home...

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

The Secret: Dare to Dream - Movie

It’s been long overdue but I’ve been re-watching this movie over and over on and off the past month…The movie was released back in 2020 - I know it was that long ago and I’m just now writing about it?! What can I say, it’s been a busy life and even with the down time it’s still busy. Back to the post-so the movie was released back in 2020 and the leading actors are Katie Holmes and Josh Lucas. I personally was never a fan of Katie Holmes in any of her roles, I just couldn’t for the life of me get her out of my head as the female role in Dawson’s Creek. Her role in this film though was pretty good and I thought she played it well. Josh Lucas I’ve always been a fan of since Sweet Home Alabama and he’s only continued to be attractive with age and his role was another good one in this film; I thought it suited him and his demeanor or how he seems to carry himself.

https://youtu.be/4VM7PhkdPxU

If you don’t know what the movie is about then check out the trailer and here’s the Google description of the film:

“Miranda Wells is a hardworking young widow who’s struggling to raise three children on her own. A powerful storm so brings a devasting challenge and a mysterious man, Bray Johnson, into her life. In just a few short days, Bray’s presence reignites the family’s spirit - but he carries a secret that could change everything.”

I won’t lie and say that I didn’t feel a relation to the character she portrays but it’s about the overall vibe and feel of the movie that I enjoyed. Why do I say that you might ask? Well the main reason being that there tends to be so many Debbie downers in the world or there are so many pessimists out there that the film (or more the point the character Josh Lucas plays) provides a nice air of optimism wrapped up in some philosophy with a taste of karma and paying it forward. I’ve personally never been a pessimistic person nor have I ever had the feeling of my world not getting better (even if it’s the dark and grayest of times) - I know surprising with how rational and realistic/practical I am with things in life. I digress because the point I’m trying to make is that it really is a great “pick me up” movie to provide hope and an overall good sense of positivity. As long as you have a positive vibe within you and around you in life it will continue that way with everything surrounding you, including other people. It really is worth the watch-not like a typical drama or romance story either…

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Gardening Ideas or Your Outdoor Space - General

Whether you like to garden/plant on a budget or perhaps are looking for an inexpensive activity with many fruitful effects this post is for you! 

This has been something I’ve been doing since the spring of 2019 and it’s been working like a charm, not only from the perspective of my wallet but also that of “family activity time” as well as “gardening”. I remembered when I was little that my grandfather (on my moms side) had a beautiful backyard that had a wide variety of flowers and bushes. I use to think to myself, especially considering how peaceful his yard seemed, that one day I would love to create my own serene garden but hopefully also do some vegetation or herbs. In case your wondering no I don’t have some large backyard (yet) but I came to realize during the winter of 2018, that your “serene garden” isn’t limited to the square footage or space, its what you make of it. So I took the time to measure my large patio space so that I could figure out what how to make the most of the space since I had plenty of time to purchase items and really envision the space I wanted. The point I want you to understand at this point of the post, is that I was making use of the time prior to spring 2019 arriving. Take the time to envision and create your space/garden because as my grandfather used to tell me in his garden, the plants also need love and attention so if you don’t give the area love and a nurturing feeling your plants won’t thrive. Well when this commencement of thought process began for my garden, we (my daughters and I) were living in a three bedroom apartment home that had this lovely patio entrance, in addition to the main door entrance. The image below shows the main living area in front of the kitchen space, that’s where the patio entrance from the exterior was. So what I was envisioning was a space that would allow me to see/hear my children play while I was in the kitchen, a place that would be fun for my girls while being a place of relaxation for me, something outdoors that would allow delicious and soothing fragrances, a place of entertaining visitors, and most of all a place where I could possibly sit down to look/listen to the storms that rolled in (or perhaps enjoy the outdoor sounds while being inside the home.) With that mental visualization of the space, I was able to begin brainstorming on the types of plants I would be planting. Obviously being a single mom since then, budgeting is always something I’m conscientious about, so these ideas are price efficient :) In case you’re worried about that.

I had budgeted a total of $800 for my patio idea…so I began with what I thought would be the most expensive, the patio furniture (which I still have to this day and continue to re-use in this new home we’ve been in). Contrary to online furniture buying phobias many have, I was and continue to be successful in my online purchases through Amazon. I bought my patio set of two rocker chairs with a loveseat bench and all their cushions, in addition to an end table-all for $396.72 (that’s includes the shipping on Amazon Prime). In case you’re wondering there are still some good patio sets online for that price even if mine was purchased back in 2019. The apartment home did have it’s patio light but it wasn’t LED and it was an awful bright light that served it’s purposes to shed light but didn’t help in mood or just enjoying the outdoor space, so I ended up purchasing all the outdoor LED lighting (yes that I can and have re-purposed still today); pendant lights to hang (a total o four of them) and these two string lights that I ended up wrapping around the little fence area posts - all for a total cost of $89.98 (all lights were purchased from Amazon). The outdoor lighting was all wireless (battery operated and came with a remote) and considering that they weren’t plugged in and I used the lights almost every night during the nice weather and storms, battery life was considerably surprising to me. $18 a piece for the stone pieces (purchased from Home Depot) for the entrance of the gate and $10 for the door entrance mat (from Wal-Mart). $118.72 for the plants and planters, but they were from two different locations; all planters were purchased from Wal-Mart (a total of 10) along with four small cilantro plants, two rosemary plants, and four small sweet mints. The reason for the purchase of these specific small plants at Wal-Mart was because these plants thrive and grow quickly if done right so it’s not about purchasing a large plant but finding the best ones TO plant; they’re also way less expensive :) You see, the small plants can all be planted together and in doing so their roots will all expand nicely into the planters and provide you quick new “buds” or extensions of their branches, in turn giving you a very “full” or “bushy” plant in your planter. The more you cut and use them, the quicker it grows and replenishes as well. I digress and move on…Three plant food packages, two large lavender plants, two lemon-thyme plants, two lemongrass plants, a small cherry tomato plant, and a small jalapeño plant - were all purchased at Home Depot along with the one large bag of All Purpose Garden Soil. Then at Ollies, I found this great square artificial turf mat (with the idea of myself or the girls ever just wanting to sit down on the ground) that was mold resistant and could get wet and be used for outdoors.  

Why you may ask the garden soil and not the vegetation soil or whatever other special soil, I’m not sure except to answer that question with, my grandfather proved to me that special soil was never required for his plants so I continued with that belief and rule (instead of also dishing out more money for the soil) and observed how my “green thumb” would be. So this soil has been doing wonders and working quite well for me for all my plants since! And yes I still use that soil today with my plants. All that being said, the grand total of it all comes out to be $711.22. 

Also in case you were wondering why I chose those specific plants, here’s the reason why :) First off I’m sure everyone can agree to hating mosquitos or bugs of any kind entering your home, yet you’re wanting to enjoy the outdoors or the ability to have the screen door/mesh only at your entrance doors. Lavender, lemongrass, lemon-thyme, sweet mint, and rosemary are the most poignant natural mosquito repellants-so if you have those planted as closest to your entry doors you eliminate those pesky flying bugs from entering into your domain, especially if you get into the habit of slightly “petting” or rubbing on those plants every time you open the doors. I have confirmed to this day that wherever I’ve lived no annoying mosquito’s have affected the three of us! Also all the plants I’ve chosen can be used for cooking as well as creating herbal teas (whether hot or cold). 

This brings me to the right here and right now, Spring 2022 where I now do have a yard but haven’t created the backyard “paradise” that I want yet…however I have started on my plants. $63.84 got me the image you see below; four planters, two packages of plant food, one large bag of soil, three lemon thymes, one rosemary, one lavender, and three cilantro plants. It’s a start for one door entry and since those were all planted on April 9th, I’ve been able to cook and make plenty of things since with them since they’re growing like weeds. You’ll see when it comes to my next post ;) 

Once I start the backyard creation I’ll also let you know how that goes and what ways I was able to save for that!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman