"My Darling girls - never ever apologize to the world for the fierce fire burning in you. The fire that rips across the horizon, illuminates paths, and is a beacon of hope as well as light for those that pass you by or come to know you. Let people be hypnotized by the light rising of your inner flames. Their water can't stop you and their structures can't contain you. Go ahead and Burn."
As the years continue to go by, I come to realize more and more that the things that matter and core beliefs/values remain lost in society or are slowly being wiped out altogether. It's almost as if evolving in this world takes away the beauty and wonder of growth, where instead of building on the core foundation a person should have, it's reconstruction and basically changing your entire "appearance." to fulfill the agenda of the market or that of whatever movement is being publicized. Family traditions and heirlooms are now rare or close to non-existent ideologies and goals. Values are focused on self-satisfaction/gratification, not something associated to lineage and hard work earnings to pass down for one's family history. Shoot not even teenagers now adays have the understanding of their own family lineage or ancestors not to mention they have no involvement or notion of their heritage.
So where do you stand? Are you a person who knows their ancestry and heritage or do you live in the shadows of society by only what you are told and see, that to fit in you should be/act/live a certain way? Do you have any traditions from your faith, heritage, or ancestry? If you're answer is no or you don't know, have you even bothered to take the time and investigate or perhaps figure out if you want to retain any? If you're answer is yes but you don't follow them or practice them, then why not? Is there something that you can tweak to retain the tradition or perhaps make it a new one? A newer evolved tradition with your spin or the newer aged family members spin to it. Maybe I should've started with whether or not you even know what all those things mean/are? It might seem like a stupid question, but you'd be surprised (if you haven't bothered to look or notice already) how stupid the current teenage generation is and the very few who are wanting to make more out of themselves-not just monkey see and monkey do, but that's a post for another day. The point is, let's break it down before I get into my story.
When you look up "tradition" its definition is broken up into subcategory definitions based on (1) social/cultural, (2) familial, (3) religious, and (4) institutional. "Tradition" is from the Latin word tradere which means "to hand over"; so, it's a belief or custom passed down within a group or society from generation to generation. Whether people know it or believe it, but traditions tend to allow people a sense of purpose or identity, which is why I find it interesting how the younger individuals of the world have just lost their way because they have no faith foundation and they definitely have no tradition to carry down...let's rewind and go back to (1); this is where community traditions come into play like events/holidays or celebrations as well as culinary practices. (2) rituals that are unique to the household like game nights or event practices like when to open presents at a birthday celebration or specifically unique household rituals. (3) religious traditions are born from doctrines, ceremonies, and oral as well as written texts; however, all of these are typically passed down by the faith or within the faith but that doesn't mean you can't ADD more to it within your own households as well. For example my household goes to Mass at least (2) other days out of the week outside Sunday as well as attending Eucharistic Adoration - we've been doing it since even before my children were born and I still did it even with them being in arms, strollers, and finally walking - although I also never had my kids running around, screaming, or making a fuss in adoration either! They always knew better after the ONE time they both tried (in separate events and ages of course). Any who...and lastly there's the institutional one, which more are more from professional, academic, and even legal long-standing settings and practices - kind of like graduation gowns and hats.
Now what's the difference between ancestral traditions compared to that of traditions from your heritage? The ancestral part is based off of biological as well as genetic lineages, so basically who you are a descendent from whereas heritage promotes the cultural, traditional, and historical legacies passed down to you. Which brings me to the reason for this post...
My mother was so hopeful in having keepsakes for my sister and I from our life events to provide us with as well as hand down should we to ever have children of our own. Well though my mother wanted to do that for our baptism dress it didn't happen. However, when my sister found this beautiful, designed dress even without a thought to more children I wanted to ensure it was well kept should my oldest want it for herself and any future family God would provide her. So, I followed a family and religious tradition to where we wanted to make sure that a baby baptism was done - but I will also say I felt in my heart that even if it wasn't a tradition I was going to ensure my baby was baptized in the Catholic faith-the same faith that saved me and brought me consolation and peace during my before, during, and post my pregnancy...
How silly we are to believe that we have truly any control of children because though I was learning the man who had been the sperm donor for the first, well though I was praying and close to my Lord how or why the second pregnancy came along I'm not sure. I feel with deep conviction that the first was to save my soul but the second...I strongly feel was more to save his soul and he didn't take it-but the Lord knew I wouldn't deny life and my oldest would have the closest thing to a best friend if I raised them right. So, the baptism dress would be and was used once more. My second child used it and was something sweet and heartwarming to see as their mother...
Fast forward and we are now at the First Communion for my oldest. I already had in mind the same intent for the dress but because of the literal acceptance, want, and will of the person going through First Communion, whoever used it after my first child-it would be an option to have and use NOT a requirement. Which made me think of the following. So, when we were shopping for dressed, I was asking both my daughters regarding the dress that we would buy. If they both liked, it than it would work as something to hand down again. It was an Amazon dress, (of all things I know) and though I spent a while searching I thought it was uniquely suited for both my girls. It was beautifully designed at the top without all these crappy styles of spaghetti straps, no sleeves, tank tops, open backs, etc. I was seriously getting upset shopping for the dress I'll admit! Though beautiful it was a little too simple than even I was used to growing up and having my First Communion, so we had a seamstress fix the bottom of the dress to create a more elegant touch.
To have each separate event be something special for my daughters the twist I did was that they each would create their own veil for the special event.
They each picked out their own veil material and because it was both a tradition and heirloom in my eyes for them, the dress would be shared with each other however the veil because of their choosing would pertain to them each individually so that if God called them to wed they had the option to already use the veil that they designed. Since they were "marrying" Christ in their hearts to be accepting in the committed of receiving the Holy Eucharist, then if God called them to get married, they had something both old and unique to their faith life journey to use for their ceremony.
My oldest chose a more poofy design with already the head covering attached. She chose not only the border but also the additional material it was to be sown on; the seamstress did a beautiful job! While my other daughter wanted something detailed but simple. She chose one style material, but the seamstress ensured that it would be on a clip for the hair so it wouldn't move AND she didn't want the bridal cover material on it yet, so for her specifically, should she choose to wear that veil if God calls her to marry than she has to have that additional veil piece sown on. The point is they both have something that they took a part in, and it was be used and remembered until we all die...
Hopefully my post made you think of some of your own traditions, perhaps creating new ones or evolving old ones. Either way there's something heartwarming to share in traditions with your children whether they are both or full grown.
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
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