You may have already guessed what this post is about. You guessed it, this post involves the after or more correctly stated what I feel should happen when an engagement ends. Also none of the images are mine, they were just used after a google search "engagement ring montage". So I don't know how other females are or what their thought process is but I'm writing based off of my first hand experience and my thought process after breaking three engagements, and what occurred thereafter the broken engagement - and no I didn't keep any of the rings! As I'm writing this post I'm actually trying to go through my archived photos to see if I even have the pictures of these three beautiful rings...If I happen to find them I will make sure to update the post ;) Count on it! I digress and continue on to the main topic (not past engagement rings).
We are going to be breaking down the scenarios with the effect of the original owner/buyer of the engagement ring, rightfully keeping the ring. In order to better understand my breakdown, allow me to shed some light on my thought process. You see I believe that an engagement ring is not only a present symbol of the future promise to be made but it serves as a present symbol in the form of a "sparkling" gift to the understanding of a in the moment promise made between the couple. Whether someone spends a few hundred dollar or even thousands of dollars on the engagement ring, it remains being something symbolic to the person who purchased it; whether their hard work in purchasing something expensive for another, or the time spent in agony in choosing what they thought their loved one would like (as well as appreciate), or the shear size of the ring being the symbol of not only a financial foundation of their future but to imply a statement of ownership as well. All in all, there isn't just pressure on the person who accepts or denies the question made, but I believe there is more pressure on the person who is doing the asking. Now don't any one person misinterpret the statements I've just made, I'm not saying a males role is more important than a females role or that either party aren't taking a gamble or making a bet for the rest of their life; let me just put it to you this way, last I checked there aren't many or any women buying engagement rings for the men or doing much of the asking (even if the world claims women are doing it all). So now that you know my thought process, here we go!
1)if you're involved with someone (no matter what the duration is) and the proposal has been made, where you receive an engagement ring because you've said yes; yes that ring is "yours" but remember it's the gift of what is to be not the guarantee. So if you mutually both agree to separate ways and call off the engagement wouldn't the most respectful/loving thing be to then return the engagement ring to its rightful owner-the one who presented it. Or how about the more conscientious thing to do if you truly cared for someone, "hey you spent so much money on this so take it back and see if there's any refund or money that you can get back." Why wouldn't you want to do to right by your partner, lover, best friend and confidant.
2)you're involved with someone (no matter what the duration is) and the proposal has been made with the acceptance of the engagement ring. However the female who as originally accepted the ring is at a later time wanting to end the engagement and sever ties, therefore ending the relationship. Why would she have of need of the engagement ring; if she cared for the person who she was involved in a relationship with then why wouldn't she give back the ring that was presented to her. For me personally when I hear that the female keeps the ring, then she was more greedy for the "prosperous" aspect of the relationship/marriage to be, because now she's going to pawn off or reap the funds of whatever she gets from the ring. No offense to anyone but to close a chapter for the proviso relationship, you would want to get rid of the remains of it (regardless of good or bad memories) that in turn means the ring as well.
3)you're involved with someone (no matter what the duration is) and the proposal has been made with the acceptance of the engagement ring. However, the male is the one to call off the engagement and sever ties, therefore ending the relationship. I feel this is a situation where it warrants the ring to stay in the possession of the female to do as she pleases (as it was the male who presenting the ring with the proposal and is the one renegading after all that's transpired.
4)you're involved with someone (no matter what the duration is) and the proposal has been made with the acceptance of the engagement ring, but the ring is an heirloom or family inherited jewel...some may argue on this point no matter what HOWEVER, as much as I am for evolving with the older traditions in play, when it comes to something like this a ring such as this should stay in the original family it is coming from. If that means she doesn't get it then too bad, life's full of disappointments so people should just deal with it. Actually no, more importantly if there was ever a shed of true emotions that transpired between the couple than what happens to the ring in a circumstance such as this would be an easy answer for all-that it remains with the person who presented the ring.
5)you're involved with someone (no matter what the duration is) and the proposal has been made with the acceptance of the engagement ring. If there is a circumstance involving an event of infidelity/cheating (especially when the relationship parameters are set to exclusive and monogamous) on the male then I believe it is at the discretion of the "ring bearer" (the person whose fingers the ring is worn on) what happens to the ring. Now if it's the other way around and the female cheated then, damn woman just give the man his ring so he can at least have enough money for some booze after the heartache and dent in his bank you just did him on top of cheating on him!
Everyone, obviously to each your own just please remember that regardless of broken hearts and/or mixed feelings you should: if your religious, treat others the way you would want to be treated or more importantly you wouldn't want your future son/daughter to be treated in a smilier fashion; not religious, karma is a bitch or if you want the universe to give to you positive energy that put out that same positive energy even though your engagement ended or think of one of your family members was being treated the same way-how would you react...
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
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