The Old w/The Young - Family/Relationships

Before my divorce I used to keep hearing the phrase "it takes a village to raise kids/a kid" but I don't think I actually agree with that premise. I believe even more now with conviction post-divorce and also being born into a semi-large Mexican/Hispanic family. I'm sure if my family reads my blog theres a lot of things they would be shocked to have been reading or to be finding out about one of their family members, since I don't always agree or go along with their mannerisms and/or all of their traditions per say...

After not only knowing instinctually that my two kids are not the same, through the extensive observation I'm noticing and witnessing some of their newly found habits as well as what defines them individually as they continue to grow. I do feel that there basis or the foundation in character and personality stems from their own personal observation of their environment in addition to the solid parent whose been there for it all no matter what - that would be me by the way, in case you couldn't piece that together. Due to their age, I feel this is only contributing to 60% of who they are, 20% comes from their interaction with the world around them whether that be through their school, playdates, social interactions with other kids and their parents, perhaps Sunday church school, Sunday church/Mass, or perhaps directly with their friendships that they've created with other children. The remainder 20% I feel concludes with the adult role models and the adults period that they have exposure to in their outings, setting at home, as well as their social interactions outside the home/family life (whether that's extended and/or immediate and/or both). 

So what does the above paragraph all mean? That it doesn't take a village to raise a child it just helps to have a village in the caretaking of the child so the mother doesn't necessarily go insane! If done right, that is. Otherwise its possible that the "village" you've surrounded yourself in becomes the bad example or worse for your children - they'll end up picking up on really bad habits or perhaps begin reflecting awful character examples as the other adults around them. See for me I think it the oldest members of the family that dictate the vibe of the family, in turn playing an important role in the lives of the children.

By the way, yes the above images are MY personal images taken by my camera and are NOT meant for redistribution nor to be copy/pasted and used elsewhere. I will hunt your ass down if you try to save these images and pass them off as your own!...squirrel and moving on! :)

How your kids see how the oldest members are treated and the relationships that your kids have with them will be a huge contributor to their lives growing up and impact them in a manner which I feel many don't foresee or understand. I know, I know not everyone is as blessed to even have living grandparents or even to have great grandparents alive for that matter; for those that do have grandparents and great grandparents still a part of your families, relish and cherish the moments you have with them because there will come a day in which they will no longer be a part of the pictures...moving on, the kids will notice not only how these eldest members of the family are cared for but how they are talked to, how others in the family see them, and especially how they are all treated. Children are already very observant so them seeing how the adults in the family and how their attitudes are towards these specific family members will play a crucial role in their respect for authority as well as their own emotions towards those members. Again, at least that's what I feel...

See my kids have been very blessed with grandparents and even great grandparents on not only my side of the family but that of my ex husband. However, it is my oldest who has had the most exposure to all generations on both sides of the family, whereas my youngest has only had exposure to my side of the family with minimal to almost none with my ex husbands side of the family. I mention this particular detail because though both my kids were exposed to the wiser family members, my oldest though loving and caring towards her elders (the grandparents and great grandparents) she does only the means of etiquette in being loving, responsive, and in her interaction with her elders where my youngest goes out of her way in caring and being like a nurse/caretaker to the elders in the family, aways checking to see if they are needing or should need anything. Both kids having a healthy and loving exposure to the elders while also both having noticed/witnessed different levels of care for the elders-leading to their own evolving interactions. This I feel and believe to be the start of my kids ability in discerning how they want their relationships to be towards their grandparents and great grandparents as well as also coming to a new sense of understanding to how familial relationships are to continue. You see without this healthy exposure towards the elderly, I feel that the kids may begin or have a minimal percentage of disruption towards the family and all its family members. 

Which leads into the main focus of this post, why I believe with conviction that it does not in fact take a village to raise children/a child. I believe that bonds and healthy role models are what influence, encourage, and mold the little lives that are our children; in retrospect this also doesn't automatically mean it has to be all family members and it doesn't mean that any one specific family member is this for our kid/s. Having family whether extended and/or immediate is helpful to social interactions and balanced relationships for the growth of the child/children I feel that it serves more as a purpose to assist the parents/parent for the caretaking needs  while also assisting parents/a parent so they aren't completely burnt out (whether as a new parent/s or experienced and having their sixth child or something) or struggling with their mental health. Children are already equipped with chameleon like abilities in addition to being resilient so whether a "whole village" is there for the child/children or not they are going to continue day by day regardless of the world and circumstances-its just up to the parent/parents/guardian to ensure the right "world" surrounds them at least until their an adult in the eyes of the law because then they will begin to experience their own journey. We just hope that they allow us to be near by or maintain that open communication when they do so...

Are you close to your grandparents or great grandparents? Or who were you're role models growing up?

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

COVID Tendencies - Health/General

The month of September is almost over and it's amazing to see the statistics of the COVID numbers. The social media and news aren't covering the health/COVID aspect anymore, it seems there are other fishes to fry and take notice of (politics, the Royal Family, President Biden, former President Trump and scandals, etc). However, if anyone actually would take the time to look they would see that COVID isn't gone and that it's still a current concern that people should still take precautions with. 

Yes I know we aren't seeing the death tolls high or seeing a drastic infection count from how contagious the interactions from an infected person is, thanks to the vaccinations and booster shots that were released. That doesn't mean though that the worst is over or that things can't revert back to a fearful time again. People aren't as conscientious anymore to using even hand sanitizer or wipes anymore. In case you're wondering I stated "even hand sanitizer" because I had already observed prior to COVID, how disgusting the women in today's world are; its awful to witness and know first hand how many even use the restroom but leave not even having washed their hands. So thinking how unconcerned the women are with their own hygiene, of course I can conclude or react in not trusting the world to be cautious in being COVID free. What makes me think that someone who could easily wash their hands for twenty seconds actually take care to not spread or be a host to a disease that has the ability to "cripple" (I use that term loosely) someone once they are diagnosed with COVID. 

Do I believe that the vaccinations and boosters have helped, yes of course, but that still doesn't rule out the responsibility that every citizen has in securing that COVID doesn't have another ugly outbreak as it did when the strand was first released...I have all my vaccinations and even my boosters thus far. Have you? Or are you one of those people who think that you and/or your family shouldn't be vaccinated at all? Either way, as wonderful as it is to have life back into some normalcy, it doesn't mean we throw complete caution to the wind. For example what I noticed was that many people began to travel for pleasure and leisure there was a spike in COVID numbers, then when the school year formerly commenced again another spike; with the lower counts registered as well with similar circumstances justifying the numbers. But don't take my word for it, take a look for yourself: covid numbers in texas

I mean I've had COVID once already pretty badly (along with the residual symptoms that stayed with me for almost two years) and even though they say it's not likely you'll get as sick the second time around if you should catch it again...well needless to say I don't believe in that. Yes, your body has a chance to create antibodies after it's first battle with COVID but that doesn't mean that your body is always running at the same capacity or level of nutrients. Therefore, for example, my family and I will enjoy eating out (at restaurants) yet because of everyone's level in comfort from COVID we've been able to notice a decline in how thoroughly tables are cleaned; hence, why in turn we are still carrying our cleaning wipes and disinfecting our table where we sit at least. I have little ones and still make them wear their masks when entering into public restrooms and my family and I still wear masks when there are large groups or bodies of people in the same area that we will be in. What works in our favor to not always have to wear masks, is that we've managed to develop a routine to the establishments we frequent, that we know when there aren't so many people there. 

Do you have any special routines to help stay healthy or COVID free? I guess the moral of this post is!…can we at least still be courteous to those not wanting to have COVID and have some sense to hygiene! 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman