Do you actually know what Mental Health Awareness is? - General/Health

This month has really been crazy for me and not just because the days are going by fast but also because of life in general it seems. When I had originally started this post it was literally on May 1st but here we are with my writing and finally finishing the post on May 20th! My goodness how time has flown by. 

I wanted to write about something pertaining what what society has dubbed the month of May to be. For the Christian religion, more specifically the Catholic community, this is the month of Mary in addition to it also being the month of moms with Mother's Day (having already passed of course) - which reminds me, for all/any of you mother's reading this post I hope you had a great Mother's Day weekend and especially a wonderful Mother's Day! So as I was saying, I found that apparently the month of May is "Mental Health Awareness" month. I literally rolled my eyes when I read that. Actually I have a tendency of rolling my eyes internally when I hear someone say they took a "mental health day." Now before and of you get huffy with me I'll get to explaining. 

First off I feel that society is misusing the phrase "Mental Health Awareness" associating it to everything involving their head period; they should be more specific or make sure to clarify to the public accurate definitions, or at least explain before someone starts googling the wrong thing. Then again I know, we can't control other's behaviors/emotions/actions. What I'm about to begin writing about is coming from someone who's had her head extensively and thoroughly examined, so believe me when I say that there's a difference between "Brain Health Awareness" and "Mental Health Awareness." For example, someone to the eye can be both mentally and emotionally sound, but due to something involving their brain health, their mental health can be affected or perhaps theirs a chemical hindrance in the brain that's creating a mental health problem-something such as a Vitamin D deficiency which affects many aspects of the body (specifically mental and brain function) can prompt some concerning symptoms and affect someone's mental health. You may not know or have a doctor consider that thought until your neurological function is looked into. Like anything else, it could go vice versa as well. The simplest disconnection from the brain to mental health can create more chaos than one can fathom. 

Secondly, the main difference between "mind" and "brain" is that the functions that the mind does is controlled by the brain, which is the physical organ responsible for those same functions. I found this well laid out image on google for what I am attempting to explain:

According to the Center of Disease Control (CDC for short-and yes that's the one and the same when announcements for COVID were being sent out) mental health is defined as: is the emotional, psychological, and social well being that affects how we think, feel, and act. Our mental health assists in determining how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices (my opinion here but I think it's for ALL choices whether "healthy" or not). The CDC states that mental health is important at every stage of life. I can appreciate when one invests into the mental health by delving into the issues they might have on hand-basically the individuals who acknowledge there's a problem that needs to be fixed instead of someone being in denial or worse (like most of the society likes to use the phrase for) as an excuse to deter from adulting, life, and responsibilities. What everyone should keep in mind is that your mental health is constantly changing or its not stagnant, but evolves as you age especially with the contributors surrounding ones mental health. The biggest impact on the mental health is when demands placed on an individual exceed their coping abilities and personal resources.  https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/learn/index.htm#:~:text=Mental%20health%20includes%20our%20emotional,childhood%20and%20adolescence%20through%20adulthood.

The World Health Organization I feel defined "Brain Health" beautifully: its the state of brain function across cognitive, sensory, social-emotional, behavioral, and motor skills allowing the individual to realize their full potential over their life span with the presence/absence of disorders. There are variables that influence the way in which our brain develops, adapts, and responds to stress and adversities; physical health, environments, safety and security, life-long learning, and social connection are basically the genres of brain development. To optimize brain health one must be able to address those genres and adversities not only to improve both mental and physical health but also optimize the creation of positive social and economic effects to the overall greater well being of a person and the society in which they walk in. There are conditions that affect the brain and nervous system and emerge throughout the life span, characterized by disruptions in brain growth, damage to brain structure and/or impaired brain function; some examples are congenital, neurodevelopment, and neurological disorders throughout the life span. The treatment and care of these examples will require both a multi sectoral and interdisciplinary collaboration of specialists with the focus being on promotion, prevention, treatment, care, and rehabilitation along with an active engagement of the individual and their loves ones as well as career groups.  https://www.who.int/health-topics/brain-health#tab=tab_1

This is a topic that hits very close to home for me due to my life experiences and this specific post a prequel to my upcoming posts so stay tuned!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Furry Family - Family/General

A friend of mine recently purchased a dog. Granted I've been dog shopping now for about three months now but haven't purchased one yet. I have to admit though that his recent purchase inspired me to write about my dogs. At one point and time there was a total of four (including my ex-husbands) dogs. My two boys are the focal point of this post, but my third dog was a shelter dog that I had found and turned in but ironically adopt and take home to start the whole process all over again :) Duke, Fido, and Aurora were my fur babies.

You see I was begging for a dog all throughout my childhood, would even covet my neighbors dogs and would always offer to take care of them when our neighbor needed the help. Well I had decided early 2003 that I would be getting a dog and I had to figure out how to put my best foot forward in convincing my parents. I realized I had to appease to their mindset of both parents and as I would be entering into high school, I figured to approach it like an "adult" would right. I knew my Mom was going to outright so now with no negotiation room SO I approached my Dad first. For like a month I would ask questions about all the family dogs both my parents had growing up and also the one that I remember seeing in some really young videos of my sister. Making them tell the stories and revealing which dogs they loved the most. Then I entered into Phase II of my plan which was to begin the hypothetical conversations of owning a dog. If we did own one which ones would it be or which dogs did they feel were the best, etc. I already had a specific dog breed in mind but that also meant I had to aim my timing of approaching this topic with patience...

By fall of 2003 I had a contract worked up with my parents, more specifically my Dad, about their purchase of the dog I had extensively scoped out, and made my selection. And yes before you ask I literally had a contract. The contract terms was that the hours I worked getting paid through my internship with my Dads company would be given to my parents towards the balance on the purchased dog. I vetted out a specific breeder and come summer of 2004 I would hopefully have my dog in tow. My parents paid for the shipping cost and my Mom and I went to go pick him up at the airport. The rest is history and the training began! Although for a girl who did everything to get one dog I ended up having two!

You heard me! For my first time in getting a dog I didn't just have one pet I had two, with ironically them both being of the same breed! So the purchased dog was Duke, a beautifully bred half Siberian husky and wolf dog that had a gorgeous white and red brown coat. My second dog was named Fido (short for fides, Latin word for loyalty) and it was a great name for one very loyal dog even unto death...So you know how I came to have my Duke but the story is pretty interesting on how I ended up getting Fido. For starters my mother wasn't all to happy about the arrangement or "contract" that my Dad and I had entered into, but she didn't renegade on the deal (since she also got her end of the deal with my grades being almost perfect). See my Mom likes dogs but she's worried about the maintenance and emotional attachment that comes with them, since she had seen so many of her family pets die or be put down. Understandable, however even that I knew wouldn't phase me into not having a dog. I don't like to compare animals with people but I viewed it as a family member right, you get emotionally attached to them and they are going to get older and eventually pass just like your uncle or aunt or cousin will eventually get to an age in which they too shall pass away. Even not knowing the pain I would years later feel of putting down or dealing with an animal about to pass, I was determined to feel it and have it all. So one afternoon during my freshman year in high school, my mom picked me up from school and as we were entering our subdivision, I took notice of a beautiful black and white Husky dog, sitting on the porch of one of the houses. I thought it odd and mentioned to my mom if she had seen the dog; her response was, "oh is it with its owner because I saw it wandering the yards going from house to house, I figured it may have gotten locked out of where it lives." I answered her letting her know that I didn't see anyone outside with the dog and that, in all my days walking our neighborhood I had never once seen that dog at that house; not to be nosey but I knew all the pets and where they were housed in the neighborhood I grew up in and was still living in at the time. So oddly enough my mom says, "we'll just keep an eye out for the poor dog."

I looked at my mom oddly as we drove into the garage of our house. A little after dinner I mentioned to my mom that I would check to see if the other dog was still out there in the neighborhood. She didn't make a protest and even said, "let me know if he's still there." Remember by this time I already had my Duke so it was interesting to see my mom getting concerned about another dog...Since I was outside playing with my Duke within the fence lines, I was able to keep an eye on the dog that didn't seem to know where he lived. I was able to see when he left the porch of that house and started towards the Main Street, exiting our subdivision. I quickly went inside the house and let me mom know and she immediately said to leave Duke out in the larger gated area while we went to pick up the black and white Husky. Between what she said and the motion of action I was both excited and shocked! My mom mentioned for me to grab some things that I thought would lure him to trust us for us to grab him and load him up in the vehicle. So there we go to pick the dog up. 

I remember so vividly to this day, how the late afternoon and evening went...we drive up beside to where he was walking up to each and every garage in the alley of the neighborhood, which faced the Main Street leading to the highway. My mom parked and I got out of the vehicle, went down on one knee and called the dog to me by tapping my leg (so there was a smacking sound since I was wearing shorts) and doing a low whistle tone. I had some dog food in my palm and he walked up to me cautiously, not skittishly but had his ears at attention and his head on a swivel. As he ate from my palm and was chewing I noticed no shaking or an aggression, so I took my chances and wrapped my arms around the dog and lifted him slightly into the back seat of the vehicle, all while staying on one knee. Yes by this time I was able to confirm the gender of the dog so boy it was! I scooted into the back seat with him and he was calmly eating out of the ziploc bag of dog food I had brought while I was petting his head and rubbing his ears. Calm and serene, a serious contradiction to my Duke. No more than a three minute drive back to our garage, we were unloading the rescued dog. I placed Duke's collar and leash on the black and white Husky to tie him down in the yard, in an area where he could be washed. My mother literally went inside telling me to get him ready so that we could bath him and have him settled to eat. Knowing that Duke was clean and had already eaten and that my mom had said they would be sleeping together in the dog pen, I would do an introduction for them after the newest dog was situated (meaning fed). I was relieved and glad that after a good introduction for the dogs, they were inseparable as if from the same litter.

My mom shocked me that day but from that point forward, my Duke had a companion that complimented him and Fido was part of the family. I trained both to come to me with their name and a specific whistle; trained them to sit on command, trained them to sit and wait until the dog bowl was on the ground so that they could eat, trained Duke to shake on command while I trained Fido to lay on command. Duke was the protector against animals in the yard and around/in the house whereas Fido was surprisingly protective of our family, almost guard dog style. Fido had been in two serious fights and both in efforts of protecting the "family member" of member of their pact; one was against a K9 unit dog that had been adopted due to being and inactive officer after an injury (he was very aggressive) and saved my mom. The second time was protecting me against a mix breed of pitbull and another breed (at least that's what the owners said), Fido was even on a leash-it was severely impressive how he continued to protect me even thought the attacking dog kept circling us! Fido to the end was super loyal and so in tune in the emotions of whoever he crossed paths with in our family. His eyes I remember were countless times my consoler, stress reliever, and life...

Fido was so loyal to my mom and I, that even on the day that pwe were waiting for the facility to prepare his needle (he was found with a tumor in his anal gland) we were all SO emotional and not just because I was pregnant, but we all felt it hard how incomplete it would be without him. My mom sat on the floor crying reaching out to pet him, when Fido limped to her and snuggled up to her and just let her hold on to him. He couldn't sit anymore at that point because the tumor was hurting him...it was amazing and sad to see but it was almost as if he knew what was happening because he was making rounds with the family members who were there in the large room with us...he finally got to me, where I was seated on a bench already past my three month pregnancyl marker. I felt I was gaining my new baby while losing one of my first biggest responsibilities...he walked up to me having tired eyes and did this painfully slow slanted sitting position as if he was laying on his side more than trying to sit, receiving my ear rub and than slowly let his head drift onto my leg, where I whispered to him, "its ok, you did good boy, relax and it'll all be over for you soon. No more pain..."

The vet nurse walked into the room saying it was time, the other family members there gave him once last rub and walked out, leaving only my mom and I. Her and I had decided that we weren't going to let him feel and see a face that he didn't know before he went. I saw the light go out of my beloved baby blue eyes...

Those two boys could not be separated and it showed apparently even into their deaths, because after Fido was put down Duke followed suit thereafter in June of the following year, about six months after...I had already delivered my second baby and I was unfortunately not able to be involved or a part of Duke's farewell, that was more my sister and Dad...He had a brain tumor, my sister had to deal with the episodes of seizures he was having.

Moral of the story, do right by your pets and even treat them like family, but do not DO NOT misinterpret loving them with caring for them-they need discipline, love, positive reinforcement, and a good reprimand when needed (just like kids) so make sure you don't get a dog because you feel lonely but because you're going to do everything for your furry life partner.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Whats in The Oven - General

Before any of you ask or think, no I am NOT pregnant :) but I can understand why you may right away think that to be a possibility. Rest assured no baby in my oven :p

No the purpose of this post is all about baking. So todays a Sunday that involves my immediate family and family to our friends house. With that being said I was volunteered for the baking. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it but I’m gluten free, so knowing that their household in kind is also gluten free I was designated to whip up the desserts or “postres” (they are a Latin family so Spanish would be involved through the day and event). The postres were a gluten free chocolate chocolate chip brownie and my experimentally found and now used, blueberry apple cake. 

If you noticed some missing areas I am a baker that likes to quality control before providing :p no comments!

I don’t know about any of you but something so mundane to be is actually the most exciting and calming think I truly love to do. I honestly have no problem when someone volunteers me to bake because it’s soul soothing for me and feel down gives me pleasure to put into the task my touch for someone else to have. I’m no whiz in the kitchen for cooking but I absolutely love to bake! I like the experimenting of ingredients along with the sweetness of the elements used and finding out how to make something gluten free taste delicious. I’m sure many could say, “then do the same with cooking for entrees” but it just isn’t the same…my theory is this: I feel that in providing my creation of a dessert I’ve provided something important with a part of me because it’s the last course of the meal right. I’ll be the last thought the person or people have because of my dessert, and what better way or better thing to do than provide something sweet by not only your ingredients but the “love” you’ve baked into it…

Anyone else feel the same way? No maybe just me- haha might be a possibility. Well anyway! If you ask, I can share a version of the recipe but I’ll admit I go by “feeling” because I don’t always use the same servings for all the ingredients. The only ones that stay constant are the amount of gluten free flour, lactose free milk, and olive/vegetable/avocado oil used. 

Let me know if you have any recipes to share!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman