Kids Needs to Stay Busy - General/Family

As you've seen in some of my other posts, I've tried since the beginning to always incorporate my children in tasks and especially daily chores. It all began once they started walking, the start of just loading dishes into the dishwasher and then they would graduate in tasks as they continued to prove to be trusted with newer and even more delicate tasks. 

I'm not saying you should be going against some child labor laws! I'm an advocate for educating a child to be a decent human being who can live without being a shadow behind Mommy. The child should be feeling confidence in what they're doing and it starts to spread in other things that they are doing in whatever is part of their day to day activities. Their first actual chore task was helping me with laundry; loading into the dryer from the washer and then also taking the clean newly tumbled clothes to the bedroom of whoever's clothes they were. They quickly graduated to the kitchen task of loading the dishwasher. This particular task is one of many benefits-its everyone's participation, lessons in the types of dishes and their cautions or concerns (like the simple butter knives, not sharp but still harmful if not properly handled). It was working together and a leaning curve - they began to understand glass items - both breakable and one to cause harm if broken. 

This task led to helping me to take out all the trash from inside the house and yes for the record they would wash their hands after helping, of course! With every new task they graduate to new levels leading to things that involve outside tasks and chores. I started teaching them how to clean out the car with the wiping down of the leather and glass along with the vacuum. The vacuum was always an interesting experience after I realized that was basically what my kids saw as playtime. They enjoyed the noise and the suction part of the vacuum. So that I could finish the tedious work, I would actually do all the vacuuming while they did the wipe downs, leaving some dirt/trash here and there so they knew that they still had the chore, but my favorite part was hearing their giggles and laughter while "working". 

Start them young, watch their little characters expand and fear of the unknown and challenges either going away or the child/ren coping with at least trying before even having the notion to allow fear to enter into their vocabulary/actions. Besides its not just about the task or chore or the educating aspect, its the fact that even in those things you create memories with it also being family time.

So don't go babying a child when it's not necessary, build them up! Have them build self-esteem, self confidence, and assertiveness in themselves and in whatever task that you've entrust to them. Otherwise you're doing an injustice to them in order for them to succeed in life and in the world without you (no matter how fucked up the world is). They will be able to handle anything and everything with what they've learned with you, coping with the turbulence and injustices of the world as well. You will have done your part as a parent raising a person who can live without being your shadow through life...

I feel that you are a successful parent when you see/hear your child/ren coming back to you to visit and tell you about their experiences instead of always relying on YOU to fix it for them and to make things better every time there's a hardship or difficulty. Did you do your job in providing them the mental and emotional tools to interpret and understand the powers at play? Or did you coddle them in your own fear of "it's getting hard for them"? It's a wonderful feeling when our child/ren need us parents but guess what, how much harm is it doing them when they are always relying on you as their peace, as their help-mate, as their partner, as their lifeline, as their life vests, or worse as if you are their spouse!...parents are to be the compass in their childrens lives-guiding them when they seem/feel lost and when the crazy world has given them whiplash in direction. They have to come to trust their own navigation (with minimal to none in bad decisions/choices) understanding that their own failures will just assist in their growth!

Our child/ren should look for us to basically feel like a little kid in a safe place, so that when they leave from visiting you they are renewed to take on any crazy! :) We as parents need to build/form/teach our child/ren in becoming decent human beings that can make something of themselves and contribute to making society better...they can't do that themselves (individually) if you're really the one always doing everything for them-just saying.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

DIY Folding Clothes - Family Life/General

Before I begin we need to have an understanding on a few things...I'm not not like you're typical coddling and "time out" parent of today's world or the soft parenting type; I also believe in giving my children responsibilities (applicable to their age group of course) and chores. Chores dont warrant money rewards in my house but becomes parts of their routines and lifestyle - I mean last I checked the military isn't paying you at boot camp or BUDS to keep the place you sleep tidy and the discipline of self!...It starts at home and with that so does teaching your children coping mechanisms, but I digress because that's a separate post altogether. So since my children were able to sit up learning mechanisms began for tidiness and discipline, then when they began to walk cleaning up and learning chores around the house began.

My kiddos were helping with laundry loads (at least taking it to the laundry room and helping me or my mom load the washer and dryer. Fast forward to now and my kiddos responsibilities involving the laundry have increased. They are more than capable to doing the whole laundry routine themselves and for their own clothes!

So let's make it fun, entertaining, and easier. Chores in our home always involve music and sometimes goofiness (just depends on what the end goal is) so the kiddos get a little whiny from time to time but sometimes changing up the music or the routine of the chore helps. Hence the new family project to inspire a more encouraging and self satisfaction chore. 

Using up cardboard my kiddos and I created our very own folding boards (ironically on Labor Day weekend too). So it became an arts and crafts time with the excitement building to actually DO the laundry. We didn't use the exact measurements that a lot of videos and instructions stated-so I created our own design that would work for both their clothes and even mine! We also didn't use duct tape like literally all the instructions said. I found that the FedEx/clear packing tape was more foldable in its use and a cleaner look for what we wanted to do. Decorations were done by hand and just using the sharpie markers!

We did lots of laundry and the faces of the kiddos was so great! They were confidant in their work, they were fulfilled because they did it ALL themselves, AND the project alone was also their creation. Best way to build self-esteem, self accomplishment, AND humans that will be able to survive in society regardless of all the other wimps (male and female)...they won't need me to do their laundry but doesn't mean that I still won't enjoy doing it with them! :)

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

GrandLux Nails Salon McKinney - General/Family/Recommend

If you're looking for a nail salon that provides consistency and a crew that's more happy than most and a manager who knows how nails SHOULD be done then this is the place you should try and frequent. Welcome to GrandLux Nails off of Lake Forest in McKinney.

The manager here is both meticulous and can make great recommendations on her personnel as well as how the nails should be. Before being in the position she's in now, where she started is exactly how I came to know her. Since 2007 she's known my family (more specifically my mom and sister) and now more recently my kiddos. My mom and sister have always been pretty particular when it comes to their nails and how they look - hence Heather. She was and still is very skilled at her craft and she's been doing this for a very long time. So upon hearing that she was running her own nail salon now I asked her for a recommendation since she doesn't really do nails anymore since with her current position being what it is. 

Mike is the one to see for your manicure and hand nails needs. He's managed to maintain the high expectations that Heather placed when doing mine and my family's nails. He does great work with natural nails as well as with tips added. I can't speak on acrylic nails because I've never done with since their damaging to the nail and nail bed BUT that's another post for another time. He has an eye for color and seasons/style so you can also trust his recommendations or creations on what you tell him you need.

The photos below are of my natural nails before his handiwork and then the completed result. If you noticed I had two of the five nails messed up on one hand and he's able to make it all blend and look as naturally as possible, with the added two tips. 

So try something new or take a chance, you won't be disappointed!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Washington D.C. - General/Family/Recommend

If you haven't traveled to Washington D.C. then you definitely have to put it on your list of things to do. It's a magical wonderland of history, learning, beauty, and oddly some serene peace in the oddest of eerie of places throughout the national monuments. 

I feel that its a place of areas that you can venture through all in one day or feel free to break it up in two to three days worth so that you can really appreciate the views and the history behind it. That and it depends on when you venture there because you might be lucky with little to no big crowds or you have no clue where to park or walk.

We went during the school year and it was really just the perfect weather! I had one in the stroller and one walking and running around with some of the sweetest and cutest moments! I have heard its beautiful with those blossoms in the blossom trees - which living so close we never seemed to make it back out during the blooming season, so I have that as a personal goal on my to do list...my kiddos and I will go back for sure!

I know that I've posted about the Ritz not far from the memorial and national markers - so I highly recommend that spot! No! It's not because its some high end location-if you read my post you'll understand why BUT for all your lazy people who won't go look, long story short its a great spot (safe and family friendly). 

So do some research and enjoy so many things you can see! Believe me that you won't regret it!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

The Cliff Dining Pub - Recommend/Restaurant Review

Whether you're a native/local or traveling to the Salt Lake City area in Utah, this post is for you! ;)

Going south from Salt Lake City you're going to head into the Draper area and while the streets and the drive there has a scenic route or the main highway route, the purpose of why you would be going over there is the delicious, elevated food and view...at the Cliff Dining Pub.

The parking lot area and arriving to the restaurant via GPS can be a little tricky so I don't suggest being distracted around the area of this restaurant or not focused on your surroundings. I'm saying, STAY OFF YOUR PHONE! :p so after parking and walking into the foyer where the hostess stand is, you'll notice masculine colors but considering the possible cold temps outside that occur in Utah it can be pretty cozy too in there. I personally think they did with the masculine color tones. The restaurant is divided into their main seating area, an appreciatively cozy and large patio area, a smaller area for larger rectangle shaped tables that's parallel to the main bar top and bar area. The bar area has a nice little sign that doesn't allow for under a certain age. 

We haven't been disappointed with anything that we have ordered there, from the minimal list of sushi to their American dishes (burgers, steaks, seafood, etc) and their nice selection of alcoholic beverages. Everything is appetizing to not only the eyes but the palette as well! Oh and their Sunday Brunch! I do definitely recommend!

All the staff are well versed in their menu items and treat those with families very well. Regardless of your party size they also aren't just trying to turn over their table, they make you feel comfortable and its comforting to know that you eat and drink at your leisure. So, if you're looking for a date night spot, a friendly group gathering, family dinner or celebration, or a simple spot at the bar - this place won't disappoint! Don't take my word for it and enjoy it yourself!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Paris Baguette - Recommend/Restaurant Review

If you're from the North Dallas area you've seen how much the City of Frisco has grown, developed, and expanded. From the start of first time small business owners to some of the popular delicious restaurant chains. It's also getting some high praise and marketing for being basically the "sports city" of the DFW area for not only athletes in general (due to the vast expertise in the area from doctors to trainers) but also for the show of the sports-outside Arlington, TX of course. For those just recently moved to the area you're going to have a lot of options and many little nooks and crevices to explore within the city. Granted the "night life" is more south Frisco (towards the Star and shops of Legacy area) but sorry my squirrel moment is sidetracking me.

In the wonderfully (annoying sometimes due to traffic) expanding area, there's been some interesting developments of "Asian" spots and "Indian" etc. This post is about the delicious quaint little shop of Paris Baguette. It's right off of Main Street, so that's going west bound on Main Street after exiting the NTTA northbound lanes. Be careful though, because though the directions are accurate via google maps or Apple Maps, if you aren't watching the turn you need to take to actually be able to park then you will surely miss it! 

The location has a nice selection of pastries, cakes, homemade in house breads, and both hot as well as cold beverages; whether complimenting your dessert/bread or just having one of their drinks AS your desert. The place is wonderfully tidy and clean. What they don't have on the shelf they stock fresh and if there isn't a re-stocking then they are freshly out for the day!

So the next time you want something sweet, craving a little quaint spot to sit and have dessert, or just in the area passing through - make a stop here! For a date or a solo adventure for your palette, it won't disappoint! 

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman 

Cribs to Beds - General/Family

This post is more primarily for families or adults who are parenting right and fair warning that this post might create some reactions out of you. So yes, I'm admitting to this post possibly being "harsh" and might ruffle someone's feathers (especially if you're a "sensitive person" even if it's someone's opinion). Not claiming to be an expert by any means but I have to kids that it's worked on beautifully so your nay-sayers can't say I don't have at least experience! Shoot it's also something my parents did in my education/upbringing and even before me! No psychological or emotional damage so don't go dissecting and trying to find a problem with this method either; you'll have your opinion, and I definitely have mine! 

So, I've noticed a serious increase in social media posts, some of the parenting books, and even parents' opinion on when you should swap out the crib to a toddler bed. I feel that this topic can be controversial and not because of the kids themselves but more so it's the parents who are screwing up the kid's progress; the parents fear that hold back the child's ability to transition! According to the Sleep Foundation for children and sleeping, they state that most kids make the transition from about one and a half years old (thats 18months for all you weirdos who keep using the damn months as they get older!) to three years old. Though the website is probably helpful for the first time parents or those who freak out about trying to figure things out themselves! I feel that the information they provide is more suited as guidelines, I'm going to say it again GUIDELINES...to be an actual parent (the good ones anyway-and yes, I said it, an actual good parent) you should be paying attention to EVERY SINGLE DETAIL about your child; moms from the womb and fathers since they've popped out! This is really how you will determine when to more appropriately transition your child. 

I know the post title states particularly about cribs to beds, but we're going to be discussing all transitions, the focus of course being more towards the bed. Solid parents will make sure that the child's transition or lack of transition isn't for their own selfish reasons, like "I'm not ready for them to grow up" or "they're still a baby" or "I just love having them near me (especially if still in the bassinet)". Children depend on the adult's ability to ensure and stabilize their foundation; this becomes an important factor in the children's success for their personal growth. Something as simple as sleeping arrangements and their fluid transitions is important and will have some lasting effects. The worst thing a parent can do is hold their child back because of the adults' own insecurities or mannerisms of "I don't want to me like my parents." Again, the moral of this post is a good parent observes, learns, created, and evolves daily WITH their child in their personal growth and in knowing when to move forward to excel at something; it really starts at breast feeding and sleeping habits of your baby, but the sleeping arrangements is that big life block for your child because it's beginning to level of independence...

Moving to another state and staying with my parents until I finally got us an apartment, I had my youngest sleeping in her pack and play until I was personally able to afford a crib at our new place. So, after observing her mannerism from sleeping on me post birth to the bassinet especially at night next to my bed, the circumstances surrounding my youngest's ability to have her independent sleeping habits was far quicker to that of my oldest (her factors were because of the birth overall). While traveling she always had her Uppababy bassinet (which helped immensely anywhere but particularly so in the hotel stays. Due to my parent's place being a little confined in space, my oldest slept in the toddler bed my parents had purchased and my youngest was sleeping with me on the couch. As a parent you get inventive for the safety and security of your child and their sleeping habits to I always figured shit out and made sure that I got my much needed sleep...my youngest began noticing her sisters sleeping arrangements and finally after noticing in observation what she seemed to be wanting, I began having her nap on my parents bed but at night she would sleep in her pack and play; smooth nights sleeps. 

Once situated in our new place and having had the crib set up for my youngest and the oldest her toddler bed, the girls were nicely situated in their bedroom. My youngest was excelling at crib naps and loved being in her crib no matter the reason, then she started showing signs of trying to stand up...yup looks like another transition was fast around the corner after about four months...

My oldest was a special observation and transition. If you haven't read my other posts about her and especially her birth you should...anyway! Like my youngest I had done the same thing with my oldest, post birth it was sleeping on me to bassinet time throughout the night. Due to my grandmother's advice and technique, I always had both daughters sleeping through the night, so noticing how quickly and astutely my oldest was picking up tasks independently (like eating by herself, standing, trying to clean her areas even while crawling, etc) I transitioned her into the crib by about the three-month marker. Then to our joy (and mother's internal panic) my oldest began walking at about nine months. Well, if she was now mobile and confidant in her going up and down the stairs (but she was smart because she would always let me or the adult, she was with known) the crib got sold and into her room was the toddler bed. Yes, if you are wondering after she began taking solids well and no longer needed the breast as much, I already had my oldest sleeping in her own room, right across from me and my ex-husbands bedroom (well at that time husband). 

Never had issues with nap time or bedtimes, but I also had this special routine with her, actually it's a routine I've done with both my kiddos :) No issues, repercussions, or emotional damage (like some of the dumbass parenting books or other fellow parents state there to be). I really do gate comparing but, it's like when you're training a dog. The correct way to train your dog to assert dominance and an alpha stance that your voice and command. When they do things correctly you praise and provide love of course! The fact remains though that the dog knows you are alpha, you are in charge, you are the one they trust and in turn they provide that dying loyalty. The dog looks to you for the assurance and guidance and leading role. SO, what happens when the dog picks up on your skittish attitude or discomfort or inability to lead/dominate - the dog WILL try to take over your actions and in turn be the one training YOU...

My methods with both my kids were similar, the only difference was in the timing of transitions and that was based off of what I observed in each of them. It really isn't rocket science but a mix of motherly intuition, instinct, and common sense really! Noticing how well my youngest was doing and my oldest starting to outgrow her toddler bed closing in on her third birthday I decided to make an executive decision, one probably many of you might frown upon or think I'm crazy for-Lord knows my sister decided she was okay to give me an earful...anyway! 

In noticing that I would have to upgrade my oldest to a different bed and in turn knowing that my youngest was looking to already be entering into her own need of a toddler bed...you see before my youngest was walking she liked having naps on her sisters toddler bed, so when she woke up she would get out of the toddler bed and crawl to the door to let us know that she was awake from her nap. SO what was my decision you might ask? I decided to upgrade their bedroom in anticipation of the upcoming transitions for all! Perhaps unorthodox but toddler beds aren't sheep once you add up everything you have to buy! I decided to bite the financial bullet sooner and Amazon was awesome! The queen bedframe, a memory foam cool gel mattress at 16" thick and the bedding, all came out to be $674.89. Something I decided would be an investment that would grow with them!

My oldest already had her brain/body trained for the "borders" of her sleeping space so she loved having a bigger bed and it made nap time easier for my mom when she was taking care of them both while I worked because yes, the goal and it was typically the norm for both girls to be napping at the same time. Like I knew it would, it didn't take more than about a month for my youngest to be out of her crib and wanting to be by her sister. The crib was donated, and their "big girl" room was finalized. Getting the girls ready after bath time, changing my youngest's diapers, and nap time in turn all came out to be easier on my mom (because she's obviously not as young as I am) and it was a heaven send on my back as well! 

Whether you decide to take my post/advice or not or whether you should decide to follow the suggestions made to you by reliable sources

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman