Gardening Ideas or Your Outdoor Space - General

Whether you like to garden/plant on a budget or perhaps are looking for an inexpensive activity with many fruitful effects this post is for you! 

This has been something I’ve been doing since the spring of 2019 and it’s been working like a charm, not only from the perspective of my wallet but also that of “family activity time” as well as “gardening”. I remembered when I was little that my grandfather (on my moms side) had a beautiful backyard that had a wide variety of flowers and bushes. I use to think to myself, especially considering how peaceful his yard seemed, that one day I would love to create my own serene garden but hopefully also do some vegetation or herbs. In case your wondering no I don’t have some large backyard (yet) but I came to realize during the winter of 2018, that your “serene garden” isn’t limited to the square footage or space, its what you make of it. So I took the time to measure my large patio space so that I could figure out what how to make the most of the space since I had plenty of time to purchase items and really envision the space I wanted. The point I want you to understand at this point of the post, is that I was making use of the time prior to spring 2019 arriving. Take the time to envision and create your space/garden because as my grandfather used to tell me in his garden, the plants also need love and attention so if you don’t give the area love and a nurturing feeling your plants won’t thrive. Well when this commencement of thought process began for my garden, we (my daughters and I) were living in a three bedroom apartment home that had this lovely patio entrance, in addition to the main door entrance. The image below shows the main living area in front of the kitchen space, that’s where the patio entrance from the exterior was. So what I was envisioning was a space that would allow me to see/hear my children play while I was in the kitchen, a place that would be fun for my girls while being a place of relaxation for me, something outdoors that would allow delicious and soothing fragrances, a place of entertaining visitors, and most of all a place where I could possibly sit down to look/listen to the storms that rolled in (or perhaps enjoy the outdoor sounds while being inside the home.) With that mental visualization of the space, I was able to begin brainstorming on the types of plants I would be planting. Obviously being a single mom since then, budgeting is always something I’m conscientious about, so these ideas are price efficient :) In case you’re worried about that.

I had budgeted a total of $800 for my patio idea…so I began with what I thought would be the most expensive, the patio furniture (which I still have to this day and continue to re-use in this new home we’ve been in). Contrary to online furniture buying phobias many have, I was and continue to be successful in my online purchases through Amazon. I bought my patio set of two rocker chairs with a loveseat bench and all their cushions, in addition to an end table-all for $396.72 (that’s includes the shipping on Amazon Prime). In case you’re wondering there are still some good patio sets online for that price even if mine was purchased back in 2019. The apartment home did have it’s patio light but it wasn’t LED and it was an awful bright light that served it’s purposes to shed light but didn’t help in mood or just enjoying the outdoor space, so I ended up purchasing all the outdoor LED lighting (yes that I can and have re-purposed still today); pendant lights to hang (a total o four of them) and these two string lights that I ended up wrapping around the little fence area posts - all for a total cost of $89.98 (all lights were purchased from Amazon). The outdoor lighting was all wireless (battery operated and came with a remote) and considering that they weren’t plugged in and I used the lights almost every night during the nice weather and storms, battery life was considerably surprising to me. $18 a piece for the stone pieces (purchased from Home Depot) for the entrance of the gate and $10 for the door entrance mat (from Wal-Mart). $118.72 for the plants and planters, but they were from two different locations; all planters were purchased from Wal-Mart (a total of 10) along with four small cilantro plants, two rosemary plants, and four small sweet mints. The reason for the purchase of these specific small plants at Wal-Mart was because these plants thrive and grow quickly if done right so it’s not about purchasing a large plant but finding the best ones TO plant; they’re also way less expensive :) You see, the small plants can all be planted together and in doing so their roots will all expand nicely into the planters and provide you quick new “buds” or extensions of their branches, in turn giving you a very “full” or “bushy” plant in your planter. The more you cut and use them, the quicker it grows and replenishes as well. I digress and move on…Three plant food packages, two large lavender plants, two lemon-thyme plants, two lemongrass plants, a small cherry tomato plant, and a small jalapeño plant - were all purchased at Home Depot along with the one large bag of All Purpose Garden Soil. Then at Ollies, I found this great square artificial turf mat (with the idea of myself or the girls ever just wanting to sit down on the ground) that was mold resistant and could get wet and be used for outdoors.  

Why you may ask the garden soil and not the vegetation soil or whatever other special soil, I’m not sure except to answer that question with, my grandfather proved to me that special soil was never required for his plants so I continued with that belief and rule (instead of also dishing out more money for the soil) and observed how my “green thumb” would be. So this soil has been doing wonders and working quite well for me for all my plants since! And yes I still use that soil today with my plants. All that being said, the grand total of it all comes out to be $711.22. 

Also in case you were wondering why I chose those specific plants, here’s the reason why :) First off I’m sure everyone can agree to hating mosquitos or bugs of any kind entering your home, yet you’re wanting to enjoy the outdoors or the ability to have the screen door/mesh only at your entrance doors. Lavender, lemongrass, lemon-thyme, sweet mint, and rosemary are the most poignant natural mosquito repellants-so if you have those planted as closest to your entry doors you eliminate those pesky flying bugs from entering into your domain, especially if you get into the habit of slightly “petting” or rubbing on those plants every time you open the doors. I have confirmed to this day that wherever I’ve lived no annoying mosquito’s have affected the three of us! Also all the plants I’ve chosen can be used for cooking as well as creating herbal teas (whether hot or cold). 

This brings me to the right here and right now, Spring 2022 where I now do have a yard but haven’t created the backyard “paradise” that I want yet…however I have started on my plants. $63.84 got me the image you see below; four planters, two packages of plant food, one large bag of soil, three lemon thymes, one rosemary, one lavender, and three cilantro plants. It’s a start for one door entry and since those were all planted on April 9th, I’ve been able to cook and make plenty of things since with them since they’re growing like weeds. You’ll see when it comes to my next post ;) 

Once I start the backyard creation I’ll also let you know how that goes and what ways I was able to save for that!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Spring Photo Ideas - General

It’s almost time! We’ve already “sprung forward” in time and it’s official, today marks the first day of Spring! 🤗 which reminds me, have you heard about our government trying to revert back to the way things originally were back in the day when there wasn’t such a thing as “spring forward and fall back” for time? If you didn’t know then go take a look on Google and take a read. Anyway I digress-back to the point of this post!

Depending obviously on your region and state/city you may already be experiencing some great spring weather! If you haven’t don’t worry it’s literally around the corner for you and gives you some prep planning on where you can take some great photos! First off, if you wanna go “pro” then you can do your research on some local photographers that are reasonably priced; can always use Thumbstack or your local listings to find some. Otherwise ask around to see what you may find or you can go with the second option (even though it does go against my fiber to mention since I have my photography business but hey whatever makes the best memories right 😉). If you can’t afford one, use one of your better cameras whether that’s an actual digital camera or perhaps the one on your phone. I suggest if it’s the one on the phone than it’s either the last two models in the Samsung (Android family) or the iPhone 12 Pro or higher version. Then make sure to pick a location with lots of greenery or florals around. Try Tulip Gardens, arboretums, wildlife ranches/museums, or even a great trail entry (you don’t want to go to deep otherwise you’ll be sweating in your photos 😋 unless that’s the look your going for). 

Once you’ve picked your spot then those wonderful smart phones or third party apps can let you edit as you need to, for the picture to be to your liking. But please, when you can seek out your fellow photographer especially when they love to creat this especial Kodak moments for you.

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Uppababy - Family Life

Before I begin, no I’m not being paid to advertise for the Uppababy brand or products, but I do feel compelled to write about them!

First off, I’m not going to lie and tell you that the products are cheap because they are most definitely not! It is one heck of a brand and worth the investment that’s for sure, for more than one reason as well. Secondly, they have items/products for newborns to pretty good size toddlers and yes newborns even include the premises. My parent’s did help me in purchasing the stroller set in 2016 (which was close to $700+ and that wasn’t even including the tax) and at the time it was pretty expensive but now I believe it’s more. I’ll have to google and check that out by the time I finish this blog.

My ex-husband knew it was the brand I was also more comfortable with for the car seat and safety (he gave his own approval as well at the time) so we purchased the car base and car seat. The car seat works as an attachment to the actual stroller which is convenient and SO its lightweight/functional to use, not only for a first time mom but also for a mom in recovery from post-delivery. I won’t also won’t lie by saying there are no other strollers that can compare, because there are but there aren’t. It depends on the use and purpose of your baby equipment and if you’re asking yourself what I mean, allow me to explain. There are some other lightweight strollers, strollers that can be easily “folded” to accommodate a mom not being able to carry/lift heavy things outside of their baby; then there’s the strollers that are large and bulky but functional for everything to be stored in it but not small enough to fit anywhere in a vehicle. Whereas you have some interesting combo strollers that are actually part of the car seat, you just have to wait until you detach the car seat from it’s base so that it transforms into the portable stroller. The reason why I highly recommend the lighter and fully functional Uppababy stroller (because they are) is because of what I envisioned my use of it. Many of you moms or soon to be mom’s will understand what I mean when you start or have gone stroller and car seat shopping. See I found that the lighter in weight you go with a stroller you loose the solid control, functionality, and sturdiness of the stroller to be able to use it with confidence and security for the safety of your child. I knew I wanted a stroller that had a semi-universal use (aka-meaning that if I didn’t buy, more like couldn’t afford the Uppababy car seat) any car seat brand would be able to attach the (whatever brand) stroller I was/would be buying. I knew I wanted my stroller to have enough “cargo” space for anything I was carrying for the baby (future baby’s) but that I wouldn’t have to worry so much about tipping over if too heavy, or when ever I move the baby/s around. I also knew I wanted to have the possibility of a dual function stroller should there ever be twins in my future or the possibility of close aged children to where the stroller could handle and have more than one child’s seat attached. Don’t get me wrong there are some nice ones out there but the ease and functionality of the multiple seats and the use of those seat locations is wonderful on the Uppababy stroller. The stroller needed to also not be so bulky for the ease of traveling whether by care or flights, but most especially when it came to sitting in a restaurant. Have you never paid attention to how annoying some of those strollers can be when you’re having lunch/dinner in a restaurant (its even more annoying when you’re passing a large party). I also mainly wanted to ensure that the stroller purchase could be an investment to be used (if taken care of correctly) for more children in the future. 

You may be asking then why do their stroller cost so much? Simply put, because it includes more than just the stroller that’s why. It folds down to a nice size, with an attachment stroller seat, and a bassinet. Don’t worry I’ll do a break down of the items with their pros and cons, especially since I used them all for both my kids.

The car seat:

This is unfortunately not part of the stroller purchase and is a separate item. The car seat is secured into the base that has both the two latched to attach to the car seat “handles” that are usually hidden at the transition from the back of the seat to the actual seat of the back row. Then you are supposed to “snap lock” in place as well, the vehicles seat belt. The base has a special “lock” function for safety for the baby being in the car seat. It’s rear facing and has breathable (but a little warm for the TX heat) fabric lining. When you “unlock” the car seat it connects to the stroller. It’s not without some effort but because of how secure the car seat “locks” onto the stroller I was perfectly alright with a little effort being put into the placement of the car seat on the stroller. The best part was depending on the circumstance you can easily rotate the car seat to go from rear facing to forward facing on the stroller itself.

The stroller seat attachment:

AKA-this is known as the “toddler seat” for the Uppababy product line. This comes with the stroller purchase and also has the special “locking” mechanisms to secure the seat on the stroller. This item can also be forward or rear facing when attached to the stroller. There’s also a unique attachment (not included that will requires to be purchased separately to use) to adjust the “height location” of where the placement of the seat is on the stroller; another-wards, if there is a need for the seat to be higher to accommodate more cargo at the bottom of the stroller, this is one way to adjust it’s location. If you aren’t wanting to attach car seats and only use this seat on the stroller (because you can keep this seat attached on the stroller and have it still “fold” easily) then you would purchase separately the “inserts” for the premie baby and/or the newborn “insert”. One of the best parts of this piece on the stroller is that it can have the baby/toddler sitting up right with their legs at a perfect 90degree angle from their torso or they could be at almost a complete horizontal position for if the baby/toddler fell asleep. So imagine more peaceful and longer walks or adventures and outings where you wouldn’t have to concern yourself with if the baby/toddler was ok and comfortable and they rested with ease.

The bassinet attachment: 

I have to admit when my mom and sister were explaining to me that the bassinet would help, all I saw (more like foresaw) was that I was going to have double work on the exiting and entering of the vehicle with the baby. Well looking back even to this day it’s still one of the best purchases I ever made. The bassinet “locks” into the stroller just like the toddler seat ad car seat mentioned above. Also with the same capabilities of the other two attachment items, you could have the bassinet facing forward or rear-facing from where the stroller handle bar is located. Believe me, I was in a similar disbelief of how convenient and how much of a life save this little item was as a first time mother. Why do you ask? Let me see if I can paint you a picture…

Imagine that you feel confidant in the routine you and your baby have accomplished and you’re feeling a little adventurous into going out. Perhaps its a nice evening dinner with either your family or significant other/husband/fiancé/baby daddy is in order or maybe its both altogether. Anyone would simply just keep the baby in the car seat and have the car seat taking up a chair space at the table, whether by placing the car seat on the reverse end of a high chair or if the restaurant has the car seat sling or you’re simply putting the car seat on one of the table chairs and have the baby facing you. The fact remains that after a while the baby is going to get either hungry (in turn wanting to be adjusted in the seat or want out to be breastfed) or fussy because they’ve been in the car seat for too long. If you’re not wanting the baby to get used to being arm held all the time then it could cause some anxiety especially in the restaurant where all eyes and ears are at attention to your baby crying/fussing or point blank you’re wanting to just have an adult moment while having your child with you and eat in a somewhat peaceful manner. Another aspect of all this is that you can’t just lug around the car seat to change the baby’s diaper-especially when they’re deep asleep and you realize while you’re eating that they need changing! So hopefully I’ve painted somewhat of a setting and circumstantial outing. Now take all that information/scenario and incorporate the Uppababy stroller with the bassinet; here comes my personal story.

This is exactly what I would do and I enjoyed all outings, dinners, and events with my child/children in tow. I would carry over the baby into the bassinet in two different manners: 1)if it was nice weather I would simply have or have someone else already have the bassinet attached to the stroller forward facing (to make it easier to carry out of the car seat in the car to have the baby layout in the bassinet or 2)if it was cooler or cold weather/raining outside then I would ask someone to give me the bassinet, which I would then place in my lap, then transfer the baby over from the car seat to the bassinet and make sure that they were covered as well as as nice and snuggled so that the cold air wouldn’t hit them directly. Side note, the lining of the bassinet is wonderfully made to be breathable and yet especially warm for the cold temperatures. Back to my story now. Stroll into the establishment for the meal/event and if it’s a restaurant then I make sure to inform the host that they can remove one chair from the table because the stroller will take up the same amount of room that the chair they’re removing did. I remember getting so many looks of disbelief but they would still do as asked. If I entered the establishment with the bassinet opening facing the stroller handle bar then once I would be seated somewhere I would rotate (with baby still inside) the bassinet to have it forward facing. Then simply check on the baby and adjust if necessary, then push in the bassinet underneath the table (again as if it was a chair being pushed to the table). Keeping the baby around the noise of family members voices and sounds; this was especially nice when the baby was older and trying to sit up/sitting up already, because I felt secure in their area always being clean and they could easily entertain themselves with toys in their bassinet while still being a part of the table and not in those uncomfortable high chairs or having to deal with all the additional pieces of putting on the high chair for the comfort and entertainment of the baby. My favorite part (as odd as these two next parts sound) was never having to leave the table unless it was literally to use the restroom myself because yes there’s that much possible privacy in changing your baby in the bassinet as well as having them nap right after feeding! So you wouldn’t have to ruin the meal/event and feel pressured to hurry up and get out because of the baby. In turn, allowing you to still feel like a human being :p or an adult who is enjoying motherhood.  

Granted some maneuvering and getting used to the products was in order, but for me personally, after about two weeks of use it came in stride and I enjoyed every minute out when I was out. Reselling has it’s value to if you would like to know…So that’s my schpeel and hope this helps in your future children plan/budgeting.  

Sincerely,

A Distinct Female

Old vs. New TV & Movies - Society/World

Looking back on when COVID began escalating and mandates were in place for everyone to be home, why didn’t the internet crash or why wasn’t there some global/national ordeal when it came to internet access and streaming? Or did I miss something? Am I the only one asking that question while scratching their head? Maybe…ok I shall digress with my opener squirrel moment.

Actually I suppose in a way my squirrel thought does tie into my topic. It’s amazing how many streaming companies/apps are out there instead of using regular cable or satellite now; you have Hulu, Netflix, Peacock, SlingTV, AmazonVideo, Paramount+, Vudu, and those are only to name a few! When the COVID pandemic was in full swing with closures and specific home mandates, with my use of the streaming apps I realized how many more reality shows were in circulation. I honestly don’t know what the appeal is about all these reality TV shows. What is so captivating about these shows; I’m sincerely asking. I personally am not a fan but don’t mean for my comment to insult or state there’s anything wrong with being a fan-if you like reality TV shows then hey whatever floats your boat. As for me, if I want to see some “reality time” I will/would just wait for my entire family to get together and watch the “show” in the room :) It’s quite entertaining what goes on at the table/gathering. 

You’re probably asking yourself or wondering where the point is in my starting my post out this way. So in having more “viewing time on the tube” - side note do people even know or understand what that phrase even means anymore? Well for one thing outside of the reality show’s created, I’ve noticed a slight decline in authentic, original, or newly creative TV shows from over the past-what two to three years. Some cartoons are basically remakes of the old, even some of the old classic shows are trying to make a comeback with a twist of a new script with perhaps original or an extension of old characters…where are the creative writers out there or the shows that intrigue us again! Even some of the new spinoff’s aren’t all that creative unless its (in my personal opinion) some of the most recent new shows such as Mayor of Kingstown, 1883, Yellowstone (which has been doing well with their fan base and seasons), Seal Team (has been going strong even after their transition to only streaming platforms also thanks to its fan base), Ozark, Harlem, Shark Tank (as much of a “reality tv show” as I can get), Restaurant Impossible (a food version of a “reality tv show” as I can get), Chopped (another food version of a “reality tv show” as I can get), Fixer Upper (ok who doesn’t admire and enjoy this home good feeling of a “reality tv show” because there’s no drama involved either), Will & Grace, Sons of Anarchy, Reba, Last Man Standing, Bones, Boston Legal, Suits, Law & Order; Organized Crime (which if you haven’t known already, Wolfe is doing another spinoff I believe from an article that was recently posted after the Super Bowl), The Good Doctor, America’s Book of Secrets, The Tonight Show, and a few others. I was an avid viewer of the show Last Man Standing but when they had a character dynamic change with “Mandy” even for me it’s hard to get back into it, so I resort to their reruns. Nothing against the show it just isn’t the same anymore. Or the best example would the the Nine successful season of FRIENDS, with the attempts of shows thereafter following in a similar pursuit of friendship takes but with a slight change in the plot line (like How I Met Your Mother). The shows I mentioned are just a few to name and I’ll admit some of the shows that I also avidly watch. When these shows aren’t renewed or I’m in that waiting period for the next season, I revert back to reruns of classics like I Dream of Jeanie, Designing Women, The Golden Girls, The Dick Van Dyke Show, and The Cosby Show, and yes FRIENDS can now be considered I think a classic show. For those of you about to say or are thinking, “how can you watch that show after what that man did” please just don’t! Point blank, I watch the show for it’s entertainment and the merit it stood for when it was created not because of the personal history of the one of the main characters. Last I checked, actor/actress who cheat on their wives at still making money from movies they’ve watched, same goes to actors/actresses or even athletes who have been violent publicly or to their significant others and yet are still employed with a fan base. So I digress and move on…

There are very seldom or close to no, cartoons or movies (or even music for that matter) that are new/have their own creative plot line without it being some form of a remake or spin off. Does anyone else see that? Take for example the old Looney Tunes versus the newer version. There are some parents who claim that the old Looney Tunes were rude and inappropriate for kids; if you ask me though after watching five episodes of the new, I felt and thought that the sarcasm and “rudeness” (for example in Daffy Duck’s character) are worse than before and there’s isn’t much left to the interpretation of the children. Disney and Pixar films have continued to do well in their creation of characters and in how the humor for adults is separated out from what the kids focus on.

So what do you think? Would you prefer a good majority of the older shows compared to the newer ones now a days or are you more caught up on the seldom good series created recently OR (yes this is the last “or”) are you just more into the reality tv shows period now? I mean do you remember any of these cartoons in the images below I’ve added on here from google…

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

I’m Back to Stay - General

Hi there!

I do apologize I haven’t been writing as much as I should it had planned, but to be frank I’ve been juggling a lot of different projects, in addition to life circumstances rearing their ugly heads, etc. 

No worries because I’ve got a lot of upcoming topics lined up, also some challenges for my readers, as well as marking off some things off my to do list! 🤗 Hope you all enjoy the read and the pics posted on the blogs Instagram page!

See you again on here soon!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Power vs. Force - Books

Power vs. Force

So I know it’s been a while since our last post about any book reviews or recommendations but there has been a lot of behind the scenes interferences. Hopefully things will be a little more organized for us started September! I shall digress for now…

We just finished up the book Power vs. Force and it was a pretty interesting read. I wouldn’t say it’s captivating but it’s insightful to the point that it has you curious to what each next chapter of information brings in the category it represents. It’s a lot more pages than our first read but still a pretty good daily and nightly read. If you like books that are intellectual, informative, intriguing to the point of divulging into your own philosophies in life without the true text tone being scientific or religious-then this is a good read for you. But don’t take my word for it-let me know what you think!

Sincerely,

A Distinct Woman

Etiquette - Society/World

Etiquette 

Do you think that only a person who is from a top tier education or who has had an education at all is the only one who has “Etiquette”. This is not to be confused with “Common Courtesy” by the way, although they both tend to overlap or to have common ground. Webster’s Dictionary defines etiquette as, “the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life” and Google defines it as “the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.” Both of those named websites defined “common courtesy” as, “the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group” and “politeness that people can usually be expected to show.”

So after reading those definitions I decided to process them and reflect on them...the common ground for both words is that it’s something observed, seen, or even expected to be demonstrated among society or the open public. While etiquette may require or perhaps have resources of a class like form/level of enhancing qualities for a person, the common courtesy seems to be something that’s almost “understood” on both words. So if there’s common ground among both words and they may tend to overlap, in addition to there’s is a level of human expectation for these words to be put into action among society or in the public eye...then why the hell is no one doing it!

I don’t mean for this to be an insult to one specific individual or individuals but it’s absolutely mind boggling to me in witnessing how degraded or how overlooked human courtesy is now a days. And please, spare me the excuse of COVID for some of the example I’m about to give and harp on because there was a down spiraling level of inadequacy towards how people’s levels of common decency towards one another was always in a decline. Some of you reading this may think I’m on a soap box of some kind, perhaps your right, or perhaps just be open minded and start reflecting or remembering on some of your moments in life whether it was you doing it towards another or perhaps someone else doing it towards you-whether you acknowledged it or disregarded it, I can’t speak on your behalf but still just think about it. I know there’s always going to be that someone that says something like, “oh that was back in the day, why do I need a man to do that-I can’t open the door myself just fine” or whatever else level of bullshit excuse to quantify the person not doing or not caring enough to change the small habit the world continues to allow. I think we’re all smart (on some level) human beings so don’t be too hasty on your judgement about what I’m about to type, or feel it an attack on you, instead just pay attention to these example the next time you’re out and about and really pay attention to your own response or how you react when this is done towards someone else. I won’t expand on them all but on the ones I have personally found to really have a domino effect.

• Opening the Door - Why is this one SO HARD for people. You’re walking into a restaurant/store or place of business and you see/notice someone either hot on your heels or a few steps behind you...why is it such a hardship for you to simply keep the door open longer for your passing and the person behind you. Or even on the occurrences that someone is exiting the building/facility, why can’t you just open the door to let them pass first since you’re obviously on your way in? I’ve sadly seen where some punkass teenager knowingly see’s an elderly couple behind them and decides to open the door minimally so that it closes on them purposely. I’ve seen where some douche of a guy opens the door for himself and knows a mother with three is coming up behind him but makes no effort to prolong the door staying open and one of the kids faces hits the door in the process. I know perhaps comical to an outsider but the mother is already dealing with the three kids and now there’s a crying child in the mix. So someone please explain to me, what is the hardship of opening the door for someone else or keeping it open a little longer? What do you lose out of those additional seconds when you’re already going in the same direction as another person?...
• Saying Please/Thank You - This really irks me to no end! Whether in public or in a private setting. Why is it so hard for people to use an extra breath in saying please or thank you? Fine you’re a hard ass and you just don’t want to say it directly to the person, than saying indirectly by not visually acknowledging the person and say it to the air around you. But this common respectful action is what makes us connect with one another on minimal and small tokens of the day. You’re a waitress and you here this small level of human courtesy, you feel appreciated in your work shift on that table because they aren’t just treating you as a “hired help” per say or that they expect service period. I’ve seen a table at a restaurant with some very attractive males but yet they had no etiquette at the table nor did you witness a simply level of courtesy towards the wait staff period-their attractiveness went down about 60% and they became douches or a-holes (for lack of a better term). Yet one of the men decided to still stand out and you could hear him saying thank you and please at the moments you would expect for those two phrases to be used. He acknowledged every person even the rest of his a-hole buddies. I feel like bashing a door in a persons face when you hold the door for them and they simply breeze on by without even saying Thank you in the process! Um excuse me, the world doesn’t revolve around you and you shouldn’t expect for someone to always open your door BUT when someone does the least you can do to show appreciation (even if you aren’t looking that person in the eyes) is say freaking Thank You!
• Saying excuse me - This is one that bothers me on a multitude of levels. Human decency among others, respect to boundaries and someone’s space, and knowing that you aren’t the only on in the room! First off, if you don’t use this phrase enough and still expect people to move than that’s your error, because staying quiet (for example) in the grocery store and someone is purposely in your way but you need to get by and you’re just standing there waiting, well that person isn’t going to know you need to pass by if you’re just standing there with a sour facial expression and you haven’t made the effort to let the other individual know that you need to pass by! And you can’t get all pissy because they didn’t move when you wanted them to! There are so many instances where this can and should be used and people just don’t effin care. 
• Being mindful of kids in an area
• Parents being mindful of the public area - this one is a continual challenge for me because I am a mother and know I’ve teaching my kids this, so no one can argue with me say something like “oh well you don’t have kids so you don’t know what it’s like...yea bullshit! I’m working on it now and my kids are doing a lot of the above and what I’m about to expand on. First off, parent’s if you think you can “train” or “teach” your kids courtesy and etiquette until they’re older-HA-yea good luck with that! It starts when their young and it’s engraved in their heads when they’re young. You bitch and complain that your teenager isn’t saying thank you or please, well did you even educate them to do that as they were growing up or did you make life easy for them because you didn’t think it was important then? Hey this isn’t a bash towards parents, but we as parents also have to admit when we’ve done our errors and what we need to do to improve the situation. First off the respect for the public needs to be there, the fact that some kids are running around stores and restaurants...yea I’m sorry I would hate to be at your house during family meals and holidays because how they’re acting in the restaurant or store is a reflection of how they most likely are in their home. Last I checked there are restaurants that have playgrounds, so if you want your kids to be running around wild and without respect to the rest of the public in the establishment, take you’re kids to those places and let the rest of the civilized world enjoy their meal in peace. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you get any other specific treatment than the rest of society. Granted there are cases where you can or perhaps the family oriented establishment tries to accommodate the family/kids side of things; parents however should not assume or take the liberty in thinking that because they have kids everyone else needs to adjust to your needs. Yeah, I’m sorry in what world are you living in and if you teach your kids that by not educating them in the typical human courtesies, you’re setting them up for failure in the world when they aren’t around you. 
• Looking someone in the eye when you’re conversing with them
• Not being on your phone while at the table for a meal-This one is not only entertaining for me to observe among couples but is also annoying for me to witness. Hey I get it, in the privacy of your own home do as you please, but I’m expanding on what I’ve seen in public on this one. Family meal at a restaurant and the kids are either doing their best to get the parent/s attention but the parent/s are too busy on their phones. Whether it’s business or not I don’t care, but you obviously have to eat so is it really going to kill you to NOT be on your phone until you and your family are done eating. Because this becomes a domino effect in your child won’t give a damn about you when they’re older and you’re actually wanting to have a conversation with him. Again it starts when they’re younger-good luck to you when they’re older...And oh my Atlanta when it comes to people on dates and they’ve spent almost their entire meal on their phones instead of conversing or getting to know one another. Good luck with that long lasting relationship you think you have when you’re only on your phones and don’t even spend the time to get to know each other. OH, is it because you think you’ve been together for a year or even 40 years that you still aren’t learning or getting to know you’re partner? Like I said, good luck with your long lasting relationship...
• Letting elderly go by first
• Allowing someone to assist you
• Men offering females a seat

If these are hardships for you to do on any given day than perhaps you should re-evaluate your way of life because courtesy to someone else could literally make their day; whether religious or not doing good provides good karma, what goes around comes around, and treat others the way you want to be treated. So the next time you’re out in public and parents regardless of your children’s age, demonstrate and teach different levels of etiquette and common courtesy, because if we can’t even do that among society, I’m sorry we’re no better involved than caveman (outside of technological advancements). Because at the end of the day you remember quality of service, how someone treated you (wait staff, host, etc), the experience overall you tend to lose the details of the technology and the money you spent as time goes by and you get older...Fruit for thoughts! :) 

Sincerely,

A Distinctive Woman