So after we checked into the Labor and Delivery department/floor of the hospital, we were finally settled into a room - time was around 4am. The irony (and what felt a little doom like to me at that moment), was that I was checked into the same room I had my first daughter in...It made me a little uneasy entering that room once the deja-vu became a "I was in this room two years ago", where things went south on my first pregnancy. The fact that my ex-husband (at that time husband) was actually with me for this delivery this time unlike our first daughter's birth. His presence helped but that sense of security was easily taken away hours later the same day of checking in...
An hour after the night shift swapped over to the day staff, we were told that they would wait for the doctor on call (meaning my actual OBGYN doctor was not available at that time, so another doctor in that same doctor's office would be overseeing my file). The wait began while the medical staff (nurses on the floor of the Labor & Delivery wing) continued to monitor my daughter and I; thankfully the scare I had of her showing no movement was nothing serious and we were told that there was nothing wrong with either of us nor was there anything life threatening. Baby girl #2 was healthy, whole, and safely tucked inside; Mommy was healthy, whole, contracting as she should, her water hadn't broken, with minimal to no dilation...still no where close to having a baby come out but a good start to getting there.
Unfortunately, because of how wonderfully comfortable hospital beds are, especially the ones in Labor & Delivery (please imagine a sarcastic drawl with this statement) true rest wasn't found and the nurses interruptions (bless their hearts) weren't helping either; I was getting angry alone on just wanting sleep! The multiplying factor that was making it worse was that my ex-husband and I were discussing a few things and it wasn't even yet 9am (supposedly when the doctor on call would arrive). The bad experiences of this day were only beginning because I was quickly getting annoyed with the hospitals main concern which was how they were going to get paid.
I do understand that billing needs information and that providing a form of payment for services is important but how on earth is a patient supposed to rest and keep her blood pressure low or lowered when she's already stressed due to other factors including that of the monetary. I think ideally your partner/SO (significant other)/spouse or whoever is with you, would be assisting in that matter to help the patient; again that's ideally or one would hope, but it won't necessarily be what happens. This day for me was exhibit A of that, but I shall digress and move on to the main focal point of this post. It was baffling to me how many times the administration office was coming into my room as well as even going out of their way to CALL MY HOSPITAL ROOM when they didn't make their presence known in my room. I was fuming not only from contraction pain but because the administration rep decided to pop her ugly face back into my room for the fourth time in a two and a half hour window. She wanted an answer to how the bill would be taken care of and that a deposit was required. Ironically this fourth attempt was during a routine review by my nurse to check on the baby and I. I remember asking my nurse, "can she just not wait until I've seen the doctor to come back, so that I even have a better understanding of what the plan is since my water hasn't broke and seems like the contractions aren't even close enough together for a 'here comes the baby' panic." My nurse looked at me sympathetically while smiling, "I know I'm so sorry. I did message the on call doctor though and she'll be coming in soon."
My day nurse leaves and the damn administration lady re-enters my room. I finally tell her, "I've already paid my OBYGN's fee for delivery in full and when I asked their office if there was anything else needed, they assured me that it was to be discussed and outlined until delivery. So you can either leave now and leave me a number to call, AFTER (and I had put a lot of emphasis on that word) I've spoken to the doctor because for all I know she's going to discharge me. Otherwise I will walk out right now and make sure to report the hostile like nature and pressure you're placing on a women in labor. My husband can answer about the deposit information you're needing, but I need rest meanwhile and you're only pushing to provoke complications to a normal situation at this moment, as you can see from the machine (and I pointed to the readings)." My ex-husband made some interjections so I was already more than exhausted and I got tired of waiting for him to say something more to appease or at least provide her the answer she was looking for to shut her up and get her gone. So yes one could say that I ended up putting my husband on the spot, but I didn't care at that moment since my baby was my focus and he could have easily answered her inquiries about finances; he needed to be an adult in that moment. I remember closing my eyes and hearing their voices but I was wonderfully tuning them out.
I heard the click of the solid hospital room close and opened my eyes to see my ex-husband walking back to the couch near the window of the very large delivery hospital room. I'm waiting for him to let me know what he discussed with the woman, but I figured he probably thought I was sleeping. I finally asked him what was discussed, then he begins to relay the information. He said that he provided her with the response that we would be providing a deposit of a certain amount and would be paying the rest in payments. At least I didn't have to worry about my OBYGN's doctor bill and the crew involved for the delivery; I made damn sure that was taken care of.
With my eyes closed I began to hypothesize how this delivery and the post-delivery treatment would go compared to that of my first daughter. Why would I even be thinking that you ask? Well you see, I was working full time and at an engineering firm when I became pregnant with my first daughter and up until I left that stable job to be a full time stay at home mom with my oldest daughter, my oldest daughter and I were always on health insurance (thanks to my job). My ex-husband didn't care nor did he find it important for us to acquire health insurance after my resignation nor even after becoming aware of my second pregnancy. I wasn't in agreeance with his thought process but I went along with it as he was the "sole provider". You see with my eldest's delivery there was an extensive amount of claims put to my insurance, especially after having her in the NICU for a week after delivery. Yet her and my care were to the upmost attention and secured feeling of care; that may have also something to do with the severity of the whole delivery overall, but still I was delivering at a top of line and rated Labor & Delivery facility/hospital. So my thought process was leading me to wonder how things would be this round considering we had no health insurance and everything was out of pocket. I've heard that there isn't supposed to be a change in how you're treated but that you're treated in health care facilities, but boy is that statement wrong and I found out first hand too! Needless to say that outside of the nurses staffed to care for me, it was a complete Dr. Jekyll & Mr Hide regarding the post-delivery location AND in how the pediatrician (former now for both daughters) "cared" for my new baby post-delivery. So the whole hospital treats everyone equally no matter their stature and status is misleading and inaccurate, since from the moment they were made aware we didn't have health insurance, their treatment of us was disappointing to say the least, if not downright distasteful. Again I have to stress that this is all outside of my personal nurse assigned to my room and my actual OBGYN doctor (not even the on call doctor). Before I get too far ahead of the explanation, allow me to rewind and playback to a little after my nap.
The doctor on call (pardon my French) was a complete bitch, being of no help and also contributing to new levels of high blood pressure. Instead of giving me relief and actually LISTENING to her patient and the patients needs, the damn doctor on call (in place of my actual OBGYN doctor) seemed more intent on closing a patient in her docket to get the payment for delivery. You see I was informed by the nuisance of a representative from accounting, that no matter the balance already paid in full to my actual OBGYN for the services involving the delivery, I would have to pay even more as the doctor on call's rate was different, therefore would lead to a new balance being owed. Excuse me and what the f***?! This is information that isn't provided to mother's to be or even patients, to better inform them of experiences that may occur and affect their financial planning towards a new life entering the world. Whether or not any of this was an indication for not having actual health insurance, I can't say but it still wasn't sitting well with me. She was a petite, blond doctor with a narrow-like face and she seemed to be one of those doctors who extensively cared for their appearance-you know the ones that you feel deep down in your gut that your money pays for all their luxuries and it's not about their need to help others but it's about the money-that type of "feeling". I shall digress and continue...
She seemed to be thorough in the information she provided in her explanation of my evaluation, however why does a doctor want to force you to have the baby if there are no current red flags or emergencies required. Everyone kept reassuring me that both the baby and I were safe and healthy and that there wasn't a need to concern ourselves with an emergency delivery of any kind. So I point blank began questions the doctor and here's how the dialogue began:
Me: "I don't understand, so is there a underlying condition I'm not being made aware of that requires me to deliver my baby today?"
Doctor on Call: "No, you shouldn't stress yourself in concern as you and the baby are both healthy and doing well. The bloodwork is fine, the readings on the baby look good, your contractions are minimal but seem to begin a going into delivery state; I took longer to come in to see you because I was waiting for your urine results especially from your previous delivery-so your kidney's look well but there is a little count of protein being leaked into the urine, so we should prep you for a C-section."
Me: "So are you saying that there is enough protein leaking into my urine that we need to have a C-section today?"
Doctor on Call: "No, I'm not stating that. What I am saying is that the little count of protein in your urine is an indicator to me that you will need to deliver this week-"
(I interrupted her) Me: "Ok, I can understand this week at some time but I'm asking about today, because you came in here making me concerned for my baby and I by stating that I needed to be prepped to deliver today, but your now telling me that it's just a concern for you. No offense but I don't know you, I'm sure your a great doctor but I trust my OBGYN. Her and I already had a delivery plan and course of action especially taking into account all the occurrences from the last pregnancy. So I understand you're covering for her however, my understanding from the nurse is that she would be back on duty the day after tomorrow. I would prefer to just wait until she comes in."
Doctor on Call: "I understand you and your doctor may have discussed a course of action, but I'm sure as you well know that things can change in an instant especially with pregnancies. I've seen this various time in regards to the minimal or low levels of protein in the urine and that quickly escalate the situation to an emergency, so it's better to have the baby sooner rather than later because things could get worse."
Me: "Doctor I'm well aware of things getting worse and the potential for things to get worse, I flat lined in my last delivery so I don't see anything getting much worse than that-but I just asked you, are the levels high enough to even warrant concern or to prompt for an emergency C-section and you said no. So to be blunt I would rather wait for my doctor who returns tomorrow to evaluate my baby and I, so that the more time my baby has cooking the better."
She obviously didn't like my responses because her facial expressions went from composure to strained and annoyance, but that wasn't the end because she still had the audacity to continue!
Doctor on Call: "Perhaps you want to discuss this with your husband, I can leave you to think things over while I go see another room and when I come back you can give me your verdict. You seem like a very intellectual woman so I'm sure you'll make the best decision." (she said standing up from the rolling stool.)
What the f***, I just gave you my decision! So why would someone have to make that statement.
Me: "Last I checked I'm the one with the baby inside and delivering, besides if my husband had any objections I'm sure he would have interjected by now, he's not one to just stay quiet."
We both turned to him and I said his name aloud.
Husband: "I think my wife already answered but I will add by saying that can't you just continue to monitor her urine and if the levels do begin to cause concern then we can actually discuss C-section prepping for delivery. In the meantime, we can wait for our actual doctor."
She most definitely DID NOT like that statement but she had to comply in a fashion.
Doctor on Call: "Those are continuous tests though and would add up on the hospital bill."
Husband: "We're not concerned about the added cost, but even if that was the concern we aren't going to risk having the baby early because of it."
Yup she DID NOT by any means like the direction it all went and you know what, I never saw her again. By the time an actual doctor came into my hospital room it was because my actual OBGYN doctor was back on shift and checking the baby and I. My OBGYN said I was definitely dilated in preparation for a natural delivery even though my water had broken so my body was getting ready and it seemed like the baby was ready to come out. So in my pushing back and waiting, I still let nature takes it's natural course so that there would be less unnecessary issues in the aftermath of both our overall health. I didn't have to worry about medication to provoke my body to prepare fully for labor and other items in preparation for delivery earlier than intended. Instead it was a seamless prepping for labor, all within literally a five hour window.
I started to reminisce though, thinking back when that on call doctor walked out of my hospital room...How many women on a daily basis that may or may not have the funds or the ability to pay for their medical bills, blindly trust what the doctor tells them at that moment, without inquiring. It's not that I don't trust doctors but when it came to this occurrence, it was blatantly clear that I DO trust my doctor and my instinct. I had to use every resource I had as a woman, a mother, and as a human being needing care. My head understood the reason brought forth from the on call doctor and since my heart was being put through the ringer with everything going on in general (my ex-husband and his stupid family BS, finances, post-delivery concerns), the only part of me to provide the unanimous vote was my feminine intuition (which has never been wrong or done me wrong before).
My OBGYN and colleagues were the same as any other occasion and even like the first delivery, making me laugh, an environment of joy, and I was even lucky enough to have the same doctor to stitch me up. There was no concern for status or monetary means in that room and with that staff to deliver my baby. Now the pediatrician was a WHOLE other issue; she didn't even treat my youngest in her "observation" technique as she did for my oldest-yes I understand the relationship of pediatrician and patient is unique but she literally only popped in once post delivery and never even answered in person any of the concerns I was mentioned while I was still in the hospital; she was nowhere near attentive as I heard her in the other rooms. Her bill for services for delivery would be mailed in so guess it's different than when you have insurance in this regard. To top the whole experience off, recover post-delivery was odd. The room was nothing like the first delivery (when I had health insurance) so small in comparison and you couldn't even fit a sofa bed (the bench seat alone was like half the size of the usual window benches in hospital rooms that can be converted into a bed. The bathroom was small and to make matters worse in JUNE, it felt like our room had no AC. We put in a request the first night when we noticed the temperature never getting cooler and the hospital did nothing, not even when I requested if we could be moved because I was concerned for the hot temperatures; one in part for me sutures and to avoid infection and the second for concern of it being too hot of an environment for the baby. Needless to say that we remained in the same room until we were discharged...
Ladies, soon to be moms, pregnant woman...I know that doctor's are medically trained and taught to assist us in the best way possible (given the means and the circumstances) however, within good and sound reasoning, if nothing is wrong and everything is ok with your baby and you, YOU have control of the treatment you're given and what the hospital does. The doctor, the nurse, and even the hospital can't force you to do anything you don't want to do if there is no medical reasoning to dictate the prompted decision by the doctor. Don't be afraid to ask questions or to seem like your doubting or questioning your doctor. Be inquisitive and ask everything that you need to and want to. Whatever you do, you should do for the better of your health, but especially that of your child! Don't let the medical field bully you into delivering early, or drugging you, or putting your baby at risk if there's no need for it...the medical field with all of their advances and staff of experience are all human, but the good doctors make sure their patient comes first!
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
