Now before you go and start reading, just remember all my posts are my opinions and views NOT professional expertise or a guarantee; also if you easily get offended easily-though I appreciate your time but then this blog post and my blog alone isn't for you! Happy Reading!
I've always been a dog lover and it took me long enough to finally get my dogs when I was growing up, but that's another post for another day, anyway! So I've always been a dog person (and yes that means I don't believe that cats are pets nor are they my favorite-hate cats actually) and in turn like any child would growing up, had my ideology and ideas regarding when I would have my very own dog right. See my family (on both my mom and dad's sides) have had dogs before but not necessarily with the same vision I had in mind. My father had a line of German Shepherds used more for guard dogs and my father had a huge role in training the dogs he had in his household; needless to say that his dogs were to serve one purpose and one purpose only and it didn't involve companionship! My mother's side of the family had plenty of dogs as well, different breeds but also outside of my personally ideology for a pet thats a dog; outdoor only dogs but family friends. Hearing some of the family stories involving my uncles and aunts and their dogs though always brings smiles to my face and makes me realize that I think as a child that the ideology I want/wanted for my pets was just something natural. Although, I think my uncles really enjoyed their pets as more than just outdoor dogs but friendly companions to play with and "venture" with considering some of the mischief they got into.
So where does that leave me you might say?...I loved my dogs and I love the dog breed period (specific ones that is-I'm sorry a small rat dog/purse dog just isn't a dog!) I believe in the compromising training of building both an indoor and outdoor dog to serve as not only a familial companion but to also serve as an intuitive protector as well as a playful addition to the family! I will say though that though I feel connected to my dog and love them dearly/fondly! That does NOT mean that I'm the type of owner who will let them sleep in my bed with me, nor in my kids beds, and most definitely NOT on any of my furniture in the house-shoot not even my patio furniture! I'm happy to spend money on the most comfortable piece of furniture for THEM but sure as hell not getting on the human furniture! Nothing against anyone who is like that or feels that they want to, I just personally can not nor will not allow it for any of my dogs and I sure as hell won't be with something who allows/does that. The way I won't date a smoker is the same way I feel to NOT date someone that allows their dog into their bed-sorry I've already dealt with the uncomfortable experience of dog hair in places that SHOULD not have dog hair-think of beach sand and you'll get my drift! :p anyway! So to each their own, just not my cup of tea :) Moving on!
My first dog was home since he was a pup so I was able to start him off with my cousins in mind which thankfully gave me some insight to any future pets I would have. With him being a pup, it was easier to train him from the get go for sure, for the things that we needed/wanted. I say "we" because my parents were adamant that he was NOT to be an indoor dog so I worked around certain things and training was a blend. Crate training, potty training, tricks, etc. Two things I'll specifically expand on for the intent of this post will be about feeding times and family. Since my cousins were SO young and my grandparents were getting older I needed to make sure that he wasn't going to jump up on them or especially in greeting (there was already three family members skittish of dogs, so I had to keep it under wraps). So that was easy and fun but constant practice and consistency was key for sure. Then specifically during feeding I wanted to make sure that my dog wasn't going to ever get or be aggressive, that he knew who the alpha was in the household regardless of the direction or circumstance and aggression or possessiveness during feeding was NEVER going to occur on my watch. I would get into the habit for the first month and a half to basically bug him, irritate him, and annoy him during the feeding time. I knew that my cousins weren't obnoxiously annoying like other kids their ages so their demeanor towards the dog would be respectful not to provoke him, yet to be cautious and protect all involved during those moments, I made sure that my dog would eat well regardless of anyone petting him, touching him, pulling gently or hard on his ears or tail, perhaps even maybe sticking their fingers in the bowl or even stroking or messing with his head. This one really paid off because it was a movement and action I followed through with my other two dogs...I also knew that if I ever had kids it would be something similar for them too...
My second dog was really more of a find by my mom that surprised us all (but thats a story for another day) but of course him and my first dog bonded like if they were truly brothers from the same litter AND amazingly enough provided a level of complimentary character and personality that we didn't realize we even needed! He was just as easy to train even though he seemed to be a stray and after a blood exam seem to be close in age to my first dog (by only a few months). Therefore training for him was similar but NOT the same because his personality was definitely different and a lot less stubborn than my first dog. Where I struggled to teach "lay" to my first dog, the second dog easily accepted commands. Where I taught "shake" to my first dog, the second didn't same to care for it. Little things like that was what soon became intriguing to me in addition to also being a hassle-however in the end it all worked out...my second dog was by far not an issue around my cousins in their young age nor towards my grandparents.
Then my third dog came along who I found wandering the streets, dropped her off at the Plano Animal Shelter...only to have bonded with her so much in that pickup that I couldn't get her out of my head nor heart. SO, my third dog here I go! Her story plays a big role for me on my life journey but again thats another post! Needless to say, I was able to convince my folks and my female companion arrived! She was about a year and a half when I adopted her and with no knowledge of her past I remember being a little uncertain and fearful of how things would turn out, especially with introductions to my boys. I think a blessing in disguise was that I took her home after her neutering so she had to stay inside with me :) I fast noticed and saw that though found and no background on her, my gut told me she was going to be a good addition and a solid one...I took advantage of her post surgery time to create that "alpha bond" setting home boundaries in addition to some quick training exercises of her knowing where she should lay or what would be her "space" when inside the house (because yes I was going to fight to have her inside with me-I felt something with her that I was going to need, whether I knew what - until later), sit, stay, and having her at attention. Where the boys had only two accidents post their arrival and infrequently allowed to go through the house, my girl dog had four...although it was a different house (WAY bigger) and also with only wood floors and tile with carpet on the stairs, I honestly think it was just the adjustment period for her, with her being older and getting to know her new home. Post those four incidents she never had issues and after house training her, she was solid in letting us know when she had to pee (along with the boys actually in this new house). She was smart and one hell of a fast learner-her demeanor was all about pleasing her owner with the task completed, even if it was just to snuggle. Now that she differed in, she was a huge furry companion who loved knowing that she felt your physical touch and you were nearby or with her. Thankfully, never allowed her to submit to separation anxiety, instead nurtured the bond and it helped so much for what life brought in store for me later...
Cue when I meet my ex-husband and his dog, a big ass super sweet but powerful hunting dog...Though his place wasn't the cleanest, his dog was super clean and I as impressed with her demeanor as a whole. I took a liking to her and she seemed to take a liking to me, later sometimes even better than with him. She was a female and I think her and I truly bonded on another caliber when I got pregnant. That's for alter though...actually I give my ex-husband kudos to how he trained and raised his dog because she was awesome! Though I felt sad for her and bad for her, knowing that he didn't really even care for her enough to actually be what she needed, she was still always a great dog! For example, my family never did or trained for the off leash command or task with their dogs and as a little girl growing up with the dog movies that I did, I knew that I always wanted that for my and my dog; however, that was nixed because of how my family always "feared" the dogs getting away, or running away, or being ruined over, or then going with anyone, etc and etc. Needless to say it was fearful transference that had me never fulfilling that with my boys and I know that's on me, but they were awesome on leash and I knew that anyone in the family wouldn't have issues with them outside of the house on leash. So on one date with my ex-husband we decided to do a meet and greet with our dogs. Never having had any experience with training off leash, I was both excited and not going to lie, a tad bit scared, when my ex-husband on the date suggested doing a quick training session for off leash. I know for a fact it was his calm and alpha male demeanor that had my calming down and feeling confidant with my dog. She took to it like a charm and from that moment on, she never strayed from my side without my consent and always came back to...my dogs ability off leash enhanced further when I was pregnant.
So between my ex-husband's dog and my three at that time, I was pregnant with my oldest and sharing my prego scent with four dogs total. My first dog didn't seem to care, my second dog was still as loving and instinctually protective as always, my girl dog was more than I could ever hope for an imagine and THEN some during and post pregnancy, while the adopted fourth soon became another protective and unknowingly loving companion for me...my ex-husbands dog had been a mom too before so that probably helped in our bonding altogether.
Fast forward to when my oldest was born and I was more than overjoyed and pleased with how the dogs were but especially the female dogs...I will say though that unlike the rest of the world and having had even my dogs for so long, would I EVER leave a baby or child (I'm talking about under the age of twelve, or shoot maybe even younger than freshman year aged kids) ALONE with a dog. I don't care if I raised the litter from which my dog/s came from! Dogs are still animals even the best of "family breeds"-theres no way I'm still going to leave my child unattended with my dog. I considered my ex-husbands dog mine (shoot considering how much better I treated her and cared for her while he was away) and she gravitated towards me and my babygirl without a hitch especially if he was around.
My ex-husbands dog had a soft spot for my oldest and was always attentive to her movements and noise, where my female dog was attentive, observant, and in tune with my oldest daughter like on crack! She was doing things that I never trained or even fathomed for a dog to do and I was always warm and fuzzy seeing her in action and I always trusted her instincts.
Just because you have kids doesn't mean that your pets are forgotten, just because you have pets doesn't mean that you can't combine both the lives of your pets with your kids, and more importantly blending your mommy doggy side with the actual mom side is easy as long as you mentally prepare and have a vision in mind!...OK that's only half a load of crap! :) In all honestly, whether you have pets before kids or post kids, make sure you do have in mind a game-plan for how you want your household to run because its not fair to the animals and sure as hell ain't fair to your kids should you decide to get pulled more onto taking are of your dog more than your kids! Do right by both sets of "kids" to make sure there's a solid integration in place so that no one feels disconnected.
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
