As you've seen in some of my other posts, I've tried since the beginning to always incorporate my children in tasks and especially daily chores. It all began once they started walking, the start of just loading dishes into the dishwasher and then they would graduate in tasks as they continued to prove to be trusted with newer and even more delicate tasks.
I'm not saying you should be going against some child labor laws! I'm an advocate for educating a child to be a decent human being who can live without being a shadow behind Mommy. The child should be feeling confidence in what they're doing and it starts to spread in other things that they are doing in whatever is part of their day to day activities. Their first actual chore task was helping me with laundry; loading into the dryer from the washer and then also taking the clean newly tumbled clothes to the bedroom of whoever's clothes they were. They quickly graduated to the kitchen task of loading the dishwasher. This particular task is one of many benefits-its everyone's participation, lessons in the types of dishes and their cautions or concerns (like the simple butter knives, not sharp but still harmful if not properly handled). It was working together and a leaning curve - they began to understand glass items - both breakable and one to cause harm if broken.
This task led to helping me to take out all the trash from inside the house and yes for the record they would wash their hands after helping, of course! With every new task they graduate to new levels leading to things that involve outside tasks and chores. I started teaching them how to clean out the car with the wiping down of the leather and glass along with the vacuum. The vacuum was always an interesting experience after I realized that was basically what my kids saw as playtime. They enjoyed the noise and the suction part of the vacuum. So that I could finish the tedious work, I would actually do all the vacuuming while they did the wipe downs, leaving some dirt/trash here and there so they knew that they still had the chore, but my favorite part was hearing their giggles and laughter while "working".
Start them young, watch their little characters expand and fear of the unknown and challenges either going away or the child/ren coping with at least trying before even having the notion to allow fear to enter into their vocabulary/actions. Besides its not just about the task or chore or the educating aspect, its the fact that even in those things you create memories with it also being family time.
So don't go babying a child when it's not necessary, build them up! Have them build self-esteem, self confidence, and assertiveness in themselves and in whatever task that you've entrust to them. Otherwise you're doing an injustice to them in order for them to succeed in life and in the world without you (no matter how fucked up the world is). They will be able to handle anything and everything with what they've learned with you, coping with the turbulence and injustices of the world as well. You will have done your part as a parent raising a person who can live without being your shadow through life...
I feel that you are a successful parent when you see/hear your child/ren coming back to you to visit and tell you about their experiences instead of always relying on YOU to fix it for them and to make things better every time there's a hardship or difficulty. Did you do your job in providing them the mental and emotional tools to interpret and understand the powers at play? Or did you coddle them in your own fear of "it's getting hard for them"? It's a wonderful feeling when our child/ren need us parents but guess what, how much harm is it doing them when they are always relying on you as their peace, as their help-mate, as their partner, as their lifeline, as their life vests, or worse as if you are their spouse!...parents are to be the compass in their childrens lives-guiding them when they seem/feel lost and when the crazy world has given them whiplash in direction. They have to come to trust their own navigation (with minimal to none in bad decisions/choices) understanding that their own failures will just assist in their growth!
Our child/ren should look for us to basically feel like a little kid in a safe place, so that when they leave from visiting you they are renewed to take on any crazy! :) We as parents need to build/form/teach our child/ren in becoming decent human beings that can make something of themselves and contribute to making society better...they can't do that themselves (individually) if you're really the one always doing everything for them-just saying.
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
