This post is more primarily for families or adults who are parenting right and fair warning that this post might create some reactions out of you. So yes, I'm admitting to this post possibly being "harsh" and might ruffle someone's feathers (especially if you're a "sensitive person" even if it's someone's opinion). Not claiming to be an expert by any means but I have to kids that it's worked on beautifully so your nay-sayers can't say I don't have at least experience! Shoot it's also something my parents did in my education/upbringing and even before me! No psychological or emotional damage so don't go dissecting and trying to find a problem with this method either; you'll have your opinion, and I definitely have mine!
So, I've noticed a serious increase in social media posts, some of the parenting books, and even parents' opinion on when you should swap out the crib to a toddler bed. I feel that this topic can be controversial and not because of the kids themselves but more so it's the parents who are screwing up the kid's progress; the parents fear that hold back the child's ability to transition! According to the Sleep Foundation for children and sleeping, they state that most kids make the transition from about one and a half years old (thats 18months for all you weirdos who keep using the damn months as they get older!) to three years old. Though the website is probably helpful for the first time parents or those who freak out about trying to figure things out themselves! I feel that the information they provide is more suited as guidelines, I'm going to say it again GUIDELINES...to be an actual parent (the good ones anyway-and yes, I said it, an actual good parent) you should be paying attention to EVERY SINGLE DETAIL about your child; moms from the womb and fathers since they've popped out! This is really how you will determine when to more appropriately transition your child.
I know the post title states particularly about cribs to beds, but we're going to be discussing all transitions, the focus of course being more towards the bed. Solid parents will make sure that the child's transition or lack of transition isn't for their own selfish reasons, like "I'm not ready for them to grow up" or "they're still a baby" or "I just love having them near me (especially if still in the bassinet)". Children depend on the adult's ability to ensure and stabilize their foundation; this becomes an important factor in the children's success for their personal growth. Something as simple as sleeping arrangements and their fluid transitions is important and will have some lasting effects. The worst thing a parent can do is hold their child back because of the adults' own insecurities or mannerisms of "I don't want to me like my parents." Again, the moral of this post is a good parent observes, learns, created, and evolves daily WITH their child in their personal growth and in knowing when to move forward to excel at something; it really starts at breast feeding and sleeping habits of your baby, but the sleeping arrangements is that big life block for your child because it's beginning to level of independence...
Moving to another state and staying with my parents until I finally got us an apartment, I had my youngest sleeping in her pack and play until I was personally able to afford a crib at our new place. So, after observing her mannerism from sleeping on me post birth to the bassinet especially at night next to my bed, the circumstances surrounding my youngest's ability to have her independent sleeping habits was far quicker to that of my oldest (her factors were because of the birth overall). While traveling she always had her Uppababy bassinet (which helped immensely anywhere but particularly so in the hotel stays. Due to my parent's place being a little confined in space, my oldest slept in the toddler bed my parents had purchased and my youngest was sleeping with me on the couch. As a parent you get inventive for the safety and security of your child and their sleeping habits to I always figured shit out and made sure that I got my much needed sleep...my youngest began noticing her sisters sleeping arrangements and finally after noticing in observation what she seemed to be wanting, I began having her nap on my parents bed but at night she would sleep in her pack and play; smooth nights sleeps.
Once situated in our new place and having had the crib set up for my youngest and the oldest her toddler bed, the girls were nicely situated in their bedroom. My youngest was excelling at crib naps and loved being in her crib no matter the reason, then she started showing signs of trying to stand up...yup looks like another transition was fast around the corner after about four months...
My oldest was a special observation and transition. If you haven't read my other posts about her and especially her birth you should...anyway! Like my youngest I had done the same thing with my oldest, post birth it was sleeping on me to bassinet time throughout the night. Due to my grandmother's advice and technique, I always had both daughters sleeping through the night, so noticing how quickly and astutely my oldest was picking up tasks independently (like eating by herself, standing, trying to clean her areas even while crawling, etc) I transitioned her into the crib by about the three-month marker. Then to our joy (and mother's internal panic) my oldest began walking at about nine months. Well, if she was now mobile and confidant in her going up and down the stairs (but she was smart because she would always let me or the adult, she was with known) the crib got sold and into her room was the toddler bed. Yes, if you are wondering after she began taking solids well and no longer needed the breast as much, I already had my oldest sleeping in her own room, right across from me and my ex-husbands bedroom (well at that time husband).
Never had issues with nap time or bedtimes, but I also had this special routine with her, actually it's a routine I've done with both my kiddos :) No issues, repercussions, or emotional damage (like some of the dumbass parenting books or other fellow parents state there to be). I really do gate comparing but, it's like when you're training a dog. The correct way to train your dog to assert dominance and an alpha stance that your voice and command. When they do things correctly you praise and provide love of course! The fact remains though that the dog knows you are alpha, you are in charge, you are the one they trust and in turn they provide that dying loyalty. The dog looks to you for the assurance and guidance and leading role. SO, what happens when the dog picks up on your skittish attitude or discomfort or inability to lead/dominate - the dog WILL try to take over your actions and in turn be the one training YOU...
My methods with both my kids were similar, the only difference was in the timing of transitions and that was based off of what I observed in each of them. It really isn't rocket science but a mix of motherly intuition, instinct, and common sense really! Noticing how well my youngest was doing and my oldest starting to outgrow her toddler bed closing in on her third birthday I decided to make an executive decision, one probably many of you might frown upon or think I'm crazy for-Lord knows my sister decided she was okay to give me an earful...anyway!
In noticing that I would have to upgrade my oldest to a different bed and in turn knowing that my youngest was looking to already be entering into her own need of a toddler bed...you see before my youngest was walking she liked having naps on her sisters toddler bed, so when she woke up she would get out of the toddler bed and crawl to the door to let us know that she was awake from her nap. SO what was my decision you might ask? I decided to upgrade their bedroom in anticipation of the upcoming transitions for all! Perhaps unorthodox but toddler beds aren't sheep once you add up everything you have to buy! I decided to bite the financial bullet sooner and Amazon was awesome! The queen bedframe, a memory foam cool gel mattress at 16" thick and the bedding, all came out to be $674.89. Something I decided would be an investment that would grow with them!
My oldest already had her brain/body trained for the "borders" of her sleeping space so she loved having a bigger bed and it made nap time easier for my mom when she was taking care of them both while I worked because yes, the goal and it was typically the norm for both girls to be napping at the same time. Like I knew it would, it didn't take more than about a month for my youngest to be out of her crib and wanting to be by her sister. The crib was donated, and their "big girl" room was finalized. Getting the girls ready after bath time, changing my youngest's diapers, and nap time in turn all came out to be easier on my mom (because she's obviously not as young as I am) and it was a heaven send on my back as well!
Whether you decide to take my post/advice or not or whether you should decide to follow the suggestions made to you by reliable sources
Sincerely,
A Distinct Woman
